DAY 162 Sober: A Molested Child

Hello Friends, Today is day 162 sober, I just want to start off by saying all the readers support and inspiring message, that fill my heart up with so much joy. I just hope I do the same for others who may be suffering in this battle. Part of getting sober is going inside and finding root causes of my addiction. The ones I hide inside deep, from the traumas I’ve been through. I have not really talked about this subject to anyone, none of my family knows about this. So I might have some backlash or maybe some support but the most important thing in my life is healing so I can stay sober.

 

 

I was Sexually abused at a very young age. It was a male babysitter who would watch me while my mother would go out and party, my mother is also an addict. For a  long time, I thought it was my doing or my curiosity that caused it. It happened more than once and I don’t remember much except that it felt good. I don’t know if I was seeking attention from the lack of it in my household or I might have seen people doing it in my household. Writing this down scares me a bit but I just need to connect the dots From being molested to addiction. I know being molested has everything to do with me seeking love in sex, or if someone is not attracted to me then that means there is something wrong with me.

 

 My writing helps me heal from the inside. Taking all the pain out and writing it down is the way I know how to heal, When I was a child I lived in my head away from reality because It was to painful. I would daydream a new life so I can survivor another day. I don’t want to be a victim anymore, I need to take ownership of how my life is today and know that I am no longer that child being touch for love but a survivor that is blossoming into a softer person. I lived my life thinking everyone was out to hurt me and In a very defensive state but the reality is that not everyone is my parents or my molester. This was a hard write so now ill go weep my healing tears a bit. Sober is the New Black.

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Stay Connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez 

Ellie Goulding your song  I dedciate to my innner child that still feels the need to feel scared. It time to go now, I got this. Run free. 

 

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4 thoughts on “DAY 162 Sober: A Molested Child

  1. thank you so much for sharing I hurt for a very long time myself it still affects me in many ways is that and not growing up with a daddy I just want to be free.one day at a time.

    • Being free, clear minded from the mind altering addiction can be the scariest part of ones life. Having to face the face of the past is no walk in the park. There are many that hurt and have no idea why they are hurting so they continue to pick at their “scab” by hurting themselves through addiction. Thank you for sharing your heart with everyone who shall read this and heal a little.

  2. I found your site because someone in my life is an alcoholic and I don’t understand addiction. I loved your post about the ego especially because it hit home for me – I realize that is not only why the alcoholic is suffering (his ego was obvious to me), but it is also why I and so many others suffer. You are beautiful. Keep on healing.

    • Addiction is a disease that convinces a person that they aren’t sick, it lives in the mind and is hard for the other person to see how it affects themselves and others. Thank you so much for the support and I hope that other person is doing better

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