Hello friends today is 421 days of sober, this past week I’ve been working hard on my book. It should be finished sometime this week than off to the editors. I’ve been staying focus, working my program, and enjoying time with friends. Having Balance is very important in my sobriety
I once believed the pursuit of happiness meant if I accomplish a goal, or found love. I would find happiness. Now I pursue happiness that already lives within me then I’ll find the happiness I seek. I have everything I need in me. No material thing, or even another person is capable of bringing me something I don’t already have within. I stop looking for material abundance expecting happiness, joy and peace of mind.
When I was an active addict my mind believed in finding someone or getting new shoes or drinking would make me happy but I soon had that empty feeling. The happiness buzz was temporary and left quickly. So I was off seeking a new pair of shoes and my next drink. My ego wanted more; it is determined to always want more. I have the ability to find the peace and joy right now, in this very moment. The world is full of beautiful things. These things in themselves are not bad, but the ideas I placed on them and the attachments I’d have with them caused the problems. I can’t expect the dream job, love from others or a brand new car to fill the emptiness inside me
Happiness cannot be found, it can only be created within us. Instead of chasing happiness in things and achievements, identify what choices make you feel good, and good about yourself. Commit to making those choices regularly.
Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
Whatever my reality is in the moment it’s the reflection of my emotions, thoughts and energy I’m releasing into the universe. If start changing my thoughts to happy ones, than that would bleed into me feeling happy. My world will not change unless I do. If it’s peace I’m looking for, then I must find it within me than I’ll attract experiences that raise’s my sense of peace.
I am a human with a range of emotions. I will lose loved ones from death so of course I will feel pain, hurt and maybe even anger but That’s when I use my tools with in myself to grief, weep healing tears, and having emotional outburst. Going through my addiction I have learned of creating a new normal. So after the pain subsides and emotions level from losing a loved one, I can create happiness again. It’s a conscious decision to live a happy and fulfilling life despite the tragedy. If I believe I would never be happy after loss than it’s likely to come true. If I’d believe in time I could be happy after loss. I am more likely to seek-out joy inside myself and in life.
Thoughts and emotions are choices. So does that mean people choose to be sad? No one chooses to be sad but we act out based on what the ego believes and expects in every situation. My expectation, perception, and reaction, intertwines with every circumstance. Nothing, not a person, or event can take away happiness, joy, or inner peace unless I allow it.
Negative emotions are never True self or conscious wish. It’s the beliefs and expectations of the ego. Waiting for the future to bring peace and happiness like “I’ll be happy when, or I’ll find the peace of mind if”. Will never render because the future is determined by the choices I make in this moment. How can I expect to create something different than what I have now, if I do not change what I do?
There were three major reasons why I never felt happy, first was I was always searching outside myself for happiness, second I could not let go of pain, traumatic experiences, and dark childhood, which lead to my third addiction.
The inability to let go of feelings of pain from the past, or worrying about rejection happening in the future.
Letting go was something that took twenty-eight years for me to learn. I now understand letting go is accepting that the past cannot be any different than it was. Not that it was “Ok” but that it had happen. So what can I learn from it so I could make the next right move. If I needed to cry than I do so. Letting go can also mean doing nothing. Giving space between how I feel in that moment so I could grieve than make my next positive thought and action.
I’m no longer scared of feeling emotions but more importantly being aware of the feeling so I know where it’s coming from so i could heal it. Rather than immediately trying to get rid of the pain I feel by blaming someone else, beating myself up, seeking revenge, or using substance, I have faith that it will go.
I just have to keep maintaining joy and peace with that I will attract more situations alike. If I’d focus on fears, concerns, and worries it will only bring more stuff to worry about. Feeling Worried means I am focusing on the future. Feeling regretful, guilt, or shame means I am focusing on the past. By being fully present in the moment I can find inner peace and happiness.
Choosing to be happy is a decision that can be made at rock bottom regardless on how low the reality is. Those experiences were created by the thoughts and beliefs you had. You are no longer who you were in the past, a month ago, a week ago, an hour ago. You are now, start creating from this point on with thoughts and choices. Change the state of mind, start thinking more positive thoughts. You will feel happy and it will releases energy into the universe. Your reality will shift.
Peace of mind and happiness has been with me this whole time. I’ve just been looking everywhere else in order to fill the addiction void deep within. But now I am found. I now know I can’t find peace, joy, and happiness outside myself, it comes from within. There is no other time than now. The future is a fantasy waiting to be created from the choices you make now. There will only be the present moment.
When letting go of the stress of tomorrows, and the regrets of the past. I can determine what I really feel. Do I have all that I need in this moment? Do I have air, shelter, and water that my body needs? If I’m not happy with what I have in this moment, no amount of money, people, friendships, or material objects will change that or only give temporary happiness. If I create happiness without those than life will shift and the universe bring me more happiness.
Seeking peace, joy and happiness with outside materials or in other people or waiting for the future to bring will always be a few inches out of reach. Like a dog chasing a bone he will never catch. The reason why happiness seems brief is not because of the circumstances that surround us, but because it is something trying to be found rather than created.
Life is like a blank canvas able to create the life that I want without the past blinding me. Always believe that every experience that happens in my life is the universe and god speaking to me. I feel god in everything. God speaks to me with experiences, thoughts and feelings. Sober is the New Black
The lead sing from The killers, Brandon Flowers just released his second solo album The desired effect. I’ve been a huge fan for the past 11 years, seeing them over 50 times. From state to state. I even have a few tattoos of them, so i might be a little biased but his music is electrifying. Here is “I can change”
Stay connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez