Hello friends coming to my end of 49 days sober. My previous Fridays used to consist of drunken blurs surrounded by others but now I find myself alone often , soul searching, writing, reading, and trying to figure out my issues. Fridays are my peace days. The chaos that comes with the week comes to an end and I am now well rested, ready for the weekend. Fridays are my time to reflect on how I can improve my awareness of my Body and mental disorder called Alcoholism for the following week. Sober is the New Black has been a great tool . I learned that if I don’t get enough sleep I could become very unhappy at work! I really need to get sleep or learn how to coupe with not getting enough sleep. Learning how to coupe with tried-ness without the booze is a bit hard but I am glad I am aware enough to fix it.
Fridays will now be my soul-searching days to guide me to a sober weekend ahead! Instill some courage, joy, and self-awareness is really fulfilling. The drunken blackouts, chaos, self abusive, not dealing with my issues, not dealing with feelings, hurting loved ones, vomiting my booze only to make room for more, eating nothing so I can get a quick buzz and not eating to stay drunk, waking up with body pain and mental pain only to do it all over again Saturday is not soul fulfilling anymore. I am starting to see the beauty in a quite night, I don’t want to sound like an introvert prude that doesn’t enjoy being around people but I need these Fridays to reflect so I can be a fun loving person dancing away with others in a night club. I do enjoy a great dance!
Sobriety is bringing me an understanding of what validation means in my life . I love hearing shares. To understand them without opinions or judgments. To really connect with their words and feelings. Show compassion and empathy without a single thought of deposition. I am not my brothers’ keeper; I am brother so when he suffers I suffer. I got a tattoo a couple years ago subconsciously not fully understanding the meaning but now I get it! Now I fully connect with it. Its in a shape of a heart and it reads “I am you, you are me we are one” For me I see it as we both are separate identities but when you take away all are individual beauty that’s make us all amazing, I feel we find a common thread that connects each other souls. I want to live in that space always!
Oprah shows on her own network have been such a help in giving me advice and tools to implement in my life, I know people have their on views on her but I enjoy adding spiritual stuff to my life also with my program, It works for me and keeps me sober! And staying sober has to be me my number love in my life. The rest will fellow!
Here is a video that helps me with understanding how to disconnect from my past story my mind tells me about in my present!
Stay connect with love, Adolfo