Hello Friends today Is day 393 sober. This past week has been eventful. I’ve been in the process of getting my first book ready for print. The vision came to me one day, late at night. This will be my first book, in my head I thought it would be easy and in some way effortless since I write everyday and knowing what I want the book to say.
I was wrong, this past week I’ve felt annoyed, tried, confused, terrified, and inspired in the process of writing the book. I had a talk with the Editor and a friend who open me up to a new direction for the book. The new direction felt right in my heart.
In this stressful time I had no negative thoughts or an addiction voice trying to convince me to drink.
I talk about my childhood on this blog. In the book it will be more in depth. So having to go back, remember those times and feelings is hard at times. But the part of the book that affects my feelings the most isn’t the childhood. It’s when I was in my deep state of addiction.
The pain I caused loved ones, shooting daggers in hearts. The lying, The manipulation, The time and friends lost. I know it was the Addiction and not my True Self because in the morning after the drunken stumbles, My heart and soul felt heavy and in pain.
In the process of writing the book I find myself walking away for sometime to cry healing weeps. Or taking hour breaks to decompress.
I know I can’t change those actions but what I can do is stay sober so their pain wont be in vain.
Meditation and sitting with my higher power helps after a writing session. Bringing me back to the present. giving me some clarity
Writing is part of my recovery, taking out all the dark stuff that dwells in me and putting it on paper. like a cleansing of the soul. It also helps me reflect and connect the dots from traumas to how traumas affect me subconsciously in my every day life. For example I grew up really poor, I recently notices that feeling bleeds into how I see the world. I have 69 pairs of shoes and always want to buy food in bulk. I need to see the patterns and see if they are affecting me n a negative way. Or change. Sober is the New Black
I’m wishing all the dads a happy fathers day. Hope you all have a day filled with relaxtion and love.
Here are some poems I created this week.
Me day 392 Sober
Anyone who knows me personally, knows I’ve always been a huge fan of Tina Turner. This song is one my favorite.
Stay Connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez