Hello Friends today is day 255 sober, the past few days have been really chill. Love waking up without hangover aches or guilt deep in my heart. Even if I wake up a bit down, I know I can control how I feel by seeing the positive in life, I just have to choose how long I want to feel down for.
One of the best parts of sobriety is the surrendering, I no longer have to carry all those heavy burdens I’ve carried for 28 years, I just let everything go. I don’t have any anger or hate for anyone. No grievances from the past. My past addiction was made up of a few things, childhood trauma, fear, and having a family full of untreated addicts. I remember being at the age of 4 sneaking into my stepfather bedroom dresser, looking for his pipe sucking on it pretending to smoke. I loved the taste of the weed resin. My stepfather and brother would take car rides and he would blow weed smoke in our face eventually at the age of 15 I experienced my first high that was weed, that turn into cocaine that turn into alcohol. I switch addiction once the substance I was using become deadly or just not fun anymore. I didn’t realize I was an addict until alcohol came into my life. I switch addiction also because I didn’t realize I was using to cope with my past. Numbing myself from reality.
Now the fear part, I was terrified of everything growing up, scared of wind, heights, mountains, and food, scared of people etc. In elementary school there was a couple of years where I wouldn’t eat because I was afraid of choking, my parents should have put me in the hospital but I eventually got over that fear. I was stick and bones. Growing up I was never taught how to connect with humans in a correct and beautiful way (Reason my previous relationship didn’t work) Now that I am sober and healing I am finding and seeing love in everybody I come into contact with. We are all flawed humans trying to connect with others. My Flaw just happens to be a disorder called addiction.
This past couple of day’s I realized my childhood wasn’t bad at all actually it was the universe preparing me at a very young age, In the process of finding out what the preparation was for. Sober is the New Black.
Aloe Blacc is one of my favorite modern day soul singer, so inspiring and very handsome as well. hope you enjoy green lights. Check out his album Good Things
Stay connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez