Hello friends today is day 99 sober, it’s the eve of my 100 days sober. Kind of feels like my own little Christmas. Today I only allow bliss nothing is going to take that away. Not even the mean clients at work or the stresses of life. Today I’ve been in tears most of the day because I know how much healing had to be put into getting here. How much work, tears, surrendering, being honest, accepting, dealing, creating love for me, coping with life, and doing it all without that one thing that was a constant friend, that booze. More like a hidden enemy. It was the only thing that was consent in my life but also killed everything good in my life. It feels good be rid of that life thief, money grabber, band aid over a gaping whole in my soul.
99 days for me is a huge thing and with everyday that passes gratefulness is what I feel. There are millions of people who never get to this point, and some might have even passed away from this battle. There are no words to describe how determine I am to continue this journey of finding me and now that I am finding me I can start creating my future. I have some stuff on the horizon that blows my mind and hopefully inspires others to start creating in their life. So tonight I just want to pay respects to anyone who passed away from addiction, there battle lives on in my heart and it reminds me to also do my work and stay focus. Their deaths are not in vain. I wish I can find a cure, I really do but I cant and will not. Only thing I can do is to create with in me so I can inspire. I want to also be inspired by others. I don’t ever want to have all the answers because once I think I know it all than I stop growing and evolving. I just want to be a better me tomorrow than I am today. I am working towards sober from booze, sober from past, sober from ego, sober from anything and everything that is barrier from reaching my full potential. Sober is the new black. There are no words for the love I feel for you, who continues to take time out of your life to stay on this journey with me, and check in.
This song from Classified and David Myles Inner Ninja is exactly me in this moment, nothing going to stop me now. Going to go hard because i am long overdue.