Hello Friends, today is day 240 sober. The past few days I have felt uninspired and feeling a bit empty. Not sure the reason but I need to go within and find out why. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I also feel that I am sober, now what? Life can be a bit scary, I have no more excuses so if I fail at something its all me. There is so much opportunity it kind of seems overwhelming. Even with these thoughts running through my mind there is no temptation for a drink, but more of a temptation to fix the issue.
Fear has been ingrain in my life at such a young age, fear has prevented me from making horrible decision and but it has also prevented me from reaching my full potential. Sometimes I feel the things I want and the things I fear become intertwine becoming one. I just have to pick my shit up and push forward. Sober is the New Black has opened up some doors that excite me to the core, but also scares me. I never thought I would be in the process of writing a book 7 months sober, which I am so grateful for but with that come fears, damn you fears.
I have to always be aware of my thoughts because that’s part of the Addiction Disorder. The past few days my mind has been trying to feed me failure, but the difference from this time sober is I am aware that it’s my addiction. So I have to push through and change my thoughts. I will have sober blues in my life, but it’s getting through it with my higher power that makes me resilient. Sobriety doesn’t fix life, but it gives me an opportunity to create a life I’ve always wanted. So I have to work one day at a time, yesterday one hour at a time. Sober is the New Black. Today I feel hopeful, Grateful, loved, happy and a bit lonely.
I wrote a few poems in last couple days, hope they help someone who might be struggling.
stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez