Hello friends today is day 63 sober, I stayed up late last night listening to some music. Yesterday post was a bit scary and right after I posted it I felt sick for an hour. I did weep but afterwards I felt a beautiful relief. I am sure there is more weeping to do and eventually I will create a space between childhood past and my emotions so when I do go back to the past for reflecting that space wont let my past affect my present emotions. After my writing session I went and visited a great friend Mel, we watch TV and ate a bunch of horrible foods. I feel fine today and focus. I never really talked about my childhood because I felt ashamed if people knew. Growing up I thought people would look down and judge me but yesterday I saw a lot of compassion, empathy and love. I now know those things that happen aren’t who I am; who I am is whom I choose to be right now in this moment. As a kid those things were out of my control, I just had to get through and I am grateful I got out. Addiction is forcing me to heal my past, in a way Addiction is a blessing because I would still be a prisoner from my past and eventually passing away a prisoner not ever fully evolving or growing.
Today my short-term goal is to start a series of poems something healthy for my mind and a spa trip something healthy for my body. I want to start treating my body with the respect it deserves. For so long I treated my body with no respect and wasn’t fully aware of the damage I have caused. I was told I have a fatty liver by my doctor and even that did not scare me into quitting. I also will be seeing Lenny today one of my closes friend, we always laugh and have a good time. I am grateful for everyone who let me share yesterday. I am writing down my teen years and will be posting it hopefully sometime this week. I am grateful for Sober is the New Black and for love. The killers is a band I love so much and be still is such a powerful song. Hope you enjoy
Stay connect with love, Adolfo