Hello Friends, today is day 103 sober and it’s been a long day but a sober day that means I am dealing with life how life is meant to feel. I Work in Venice CA and its beautiful place a few minutes away from the beach, everything is laid back and so green, a big difference then Downtown Los Angeles. I would not mind living on the Westside but I do love the city a bit more.
August has passed and it brought me so many gifts, old friends, new friends, new goals and a new logo for Sober is the New Black. Life is pretty amazing sober, never thought those words would match with a deep feeling in me but it does. Sober is me. I have been healing some of the issue I carried from my childhood into an adult. My babysitter molesting me is something I never spoke about, one person new and that was Vince. I had know no one to tell growing up my parents were battling addiction and so I had to cope on my own. My childhood was like one horrible experience after another. My Molestation happened a few times. I had to be around 3years old but remember most of it; he had to be in high school. I wasn’t getting any attention from my parents, and this guy was giving hugs and kisses so I think I felt loved. It did escalate into other stuff I remember at that age looking forward to it because the sensation felt good. I think being molested was a gateway into being sexually active very young and very aggressive about it. Not really taking care of my body, I’ve been very blessed I never end up with a life threating STD. I would seek love in men and would also seek validation I never received growing up.
I realize now whatever I was searching for in men could only be found in me. I was always looking outside myself to fill the inside, well no more. Everything I need is already in me or can be created by me only. This is a poem written in a past tense. I am no longer this but this was my past that got me here today and I don’t feel ashamed one bit because i am not my mistakes. Sober is the New Black. I am grateful for the respect I have for my body now, for sobriety, for real love, for writing, and for this blog so I can be honest about my moral inventory and know that my mistakes are blessing because they are growth opportunities.
Sober is the New Black
Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez