Hello friends, today is end of Day 63 sober, No cravings for booze, only cravings were for sushi, writing and the Spa. I followed through with all three. I am currently lying in bed sitting with a clear mind. I am working on a Series of Poems all related to Addiction; they are 12 in the series. I kind of want to debut them in an Art show, so I have to look into that. Life has change in the past 63 days. Without that box wine, my creativity is just flowing. I am very grateful for it. I have not touch the fiction I’ve been working on for two years, part of me wants to just start over because I started writing that with a mind tainted with whiskey poison and infected thoughts. I feel my mind is a lot sharper, so maybe I’ll start a remix, keep both and see what’s better. My friend Joel thought me about remix writing. It when someone reads something you wrote and they give you a suggestion on what to change so you do but you always keep the original just incase. Smart idea.
I have always loved writing in high school I was in English honors and college prep classes in English. Receiving Academic awards in English. Love to write and not so much reading. Reading is important and I force myself to read. It helps with writing. In school I would always quick read and still get an A. Same with drama, on my Drama final I would just improve my monologue. The writer and the reader are a duo, a partner in a delicate dance. The writer takes the lead and the reader follows. I have to try and keep the reader glued and on the tips of their toes. I Always have a vision of were I want to take the reader but writing short scripts, fiction and poems are really different. I find scripts the hardest for me because I love details and in writing scripts I create the skeleton. The director is the one who creates the heart, flesh and organs of the film.
I never knew I had a passion and talent for writing until recently, when I was in middle school I wrote something and it got publish and I did well in high school but growing up with that childhood than my teen years ( which I am working on that long read) I just never believed someone who had my kind of past can become something great, I had so much pain I wanted to stay a victim so I can blame my parents and maybe I thought somehow my demise will sober them up. I use to dream of me being in a casket while my family crying around me and I am laughing at them scream you did this! You did this! Twisted right! and maybe ill finally get that love, those hugs and kisses as I lay dead and lifeless. I was angry in high School, I was on my way than my Junior year of high school I became homeless. Ill get into that on another post.
I use to think, I need to drink to create art but I am realizing all the stuff I wrote was so empty and false bullshit. I am not creating from the divine of my soul, the Essence of my being, I was creating from a sad victim, Angry and most of the time I was so drunk it took me two days to write two lines, so than ill do two lines snow white and that will get me going. It never flowed and I would forget my ideas. I am grateful for Sober is the New Black, For my Readers, And for the Love I found in Sobriety.
Stay Connect with love, Adolfo