Tag Archives: Sobriety

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July 11, 2014

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DAY 49 SOBER: Falling in love with myself, Sober Hangover

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DAY 49 SOBER: Falling in love with myself

Hello Friends today is day 49 sober. Yesterday I had a blast hanging out with my friend Mel, We ate dinner and shopped, its feel great to have supportive friends. She is pretty awesome.  I also got a new hairdo.  Yesterday I did not write at all except my post earlier in the day. That was a first in a while so today I plan on a 5hr writing session after a 5hr nap. Waking up at 340AM everyday is starting to affect me, I am short with people, not fully alert, sleeping most of my day, so I need to change my work schedule. Its nice getting off early but I am so tired. I feel like I do not have a normal life. I feel like even 3:40am is early  for a morning person.  Talking to the boss man today! 

 

This weekend I’ll be hanging out with a friend I have not seen since I got sober. She was the first friend I met when I moved out here.  She knows everything about me, never judge me; She listens, and is supportive.  She was my drinking buddy on occasion but booze is no longer in my life. I don’t mind if she drinks around me. Being around people who drink doesn’t affect me at all because I do not want to drink but if I start having a craving for booze, I all have to leave the situation, pray and look inward.  The not wanting to drink does not mean I am free of it, I am sure there are going to be moments of cravings but I just have to push through and not give in to that voice in my mind called Alcohol-ISM (inside self  & Mind). We are planning a slumber party with food and movies! I kind of want to also do a pool day and maybe go dancing! I love to dance!

 

My goal this weekend is to finish up my childhood long read and also make a video blog! Two months is around the corner and I can’t believe the progress I have made in my recovery. I am more myself and it’s a great feeling getting to know me. And living in the moment. Staying focus on my sobriety is the Key to my door of success in love, life, career and self-improvement. As the days pass I am falling in love with every part of myself, something I never had the awareness or the capacity to do.  I did not know how.  My higher power is inside me, it’s part of me so I have to give myself the same love and respect I give my higher power.  I understand that I am a soul, spirit having a human Experience. The soul is very simple it’s the human shell that makes life complicated.

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

 

 

 

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July 8, 2014

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DAY 46 Sober: End of day thoughts, Sober Hangover

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DAY 46 Sober: End of day thoughts

Hello friends its 46 day sober and its the end of day. Today has been craving free and a really good day. I had to check myself a bit today; I did not sleep well last night so the lack of sleep mix with Alcoholism came out. Everything and everybody annoyed me even down to my dinner being made incorrectly. As I lay in bed I wonder if that was my Alcoholism or Ego. People who aren’t addicts get annoyed over small stuff.  This is something I need to be aware of because I don’t want to have a fuck it moment. I am glad I can reflect on my day and I can see what I can improve on and hopefully the universe will bless me with another day so I can work out my issues. 

 

Feeding your mind, body and soul with nutrients such as laughter, joy, healthy food, meditation, you time, sleep, vitamins, a great work out, positive thoughts helps you get through hard moments and clears your mind so you can be aware when alcoholism starts infecting your mind. I am really ok knowing that their is know cure. It makes me have to always work on myself . There are people who aren’t addicts who don’t get the chance to work on themselves so I kind of feel blessed to have this disorder called alcoholism because it forces me to have constant growth, find a higher power and become a very self aware person. As crazy as it may sound if I did not have this disorder I would still be angry, A victim from my childhood, full of hate, selling my body, a lost soul wandering this world without ever knowing me or my potential, Maybe this disorder called addiction was put in my life so I can over come my past and break the family cycle that’s plagued my family for generations. These are my last thoughts before I say my prayer and get some much-needed rest! I will be making a video blog tomorrow it’s been awhile but its needs to happen! I am grateful for life, for not wanting to be right but always searching for truth, for everybody who takes a moment to join me on this journey of sobriety…. My bed time song is from Eddie Vedder Society

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

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July 3, 2014

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DAY 41 Sober: HAPPINESS, Sober Hangover

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DAY 41 Sober: HAPPINESS

Hello Friends, today is day 41 sober and “Sober is the New Black” has been such an amazing gift.  Sobriety has brought me so much peace, a happy mindset and self-awareness. Once I accepted the fact that I am an Addict and understood what role it has played in my life at that time.  Sobriety also thought me a lot about my own happiness.

 

Happiness is something that is created within you. We all have the tools inside ourselves. I see Happiness like A lantern in me; I have the fuel inside and my Positive thoughts, which is my match. Since happiness comes from within no one can take it away, events in your life may cause the light to dim or even go out but we can relight that match again with are positive thoughts. There is such thing as external happiness but this is a temporary feeling that goes away. I used to think External Happiness was the only kind and I was always searching for it in people, jobs, what I buy, competition with others, my scale, and how I look. When you only look for External happiness you are never fulfilled and always searching for the next bigger and better thing once you achieve whatever it is you were looking for. You become a Slave to external things but once I started to become Self-aware I try and only focus on the Inner happiness. It’s a joyful feeling that flows from me out into the universe with smiles, kindness and love.  Happiness isn’t about you receiving because you can’t receive what you already have. Happiness is a state of being and once you are truly their life is bliss. I see people and the world differently now. The only way I can continue this state of bliss is doing the work and staying Sober not just from Booze but from Past and ego

I still can appreciate external things but only with internal happiness can I live in a state of bliss and gratefulness, even during break ups, losing something important, gaining weight, getting old etc. My inner happiness is still burning bright. It might go dim or out but I just re light my lantern with my positive thoughts.

I am extremely grateful for this moment right now! To be sober, to be Adolfo and to see the love shining all around me, coming from within!

I love Pharrell “ Happy” Hope you enjoy this video!

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

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June 21, 2014

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DAY 29 SOBER: Alcohol-ISM (Inside Self & Mind), Sober Hangover

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DAY 29 SOBER: Alcohol-ISM (Inside Self & Mind)

Hello friends, today is day 29 sober and so far it has been an amazing unproductive day. I’ve been relaxing all day, feels good not having plans. I would like to have no plans more often.  I am a day away from a month and as each day passes my want for booze is fading and my want for an amazing new life gets stronger. No cravings today except for some fast food but I told my self no, I wanted a whole shift in my mind, body and soul. I need to put healthy stuff in my body so my mind works at 100 percent and I need to make sure to get enough sleep. Your body knows when it needs sleep, so take a nap and recharge! I am in love with midday naps. I will take it over sex any day! Not only is my mind becoming self aware and I am starting to see patterns that were created from my childhood but my body is also changing. I feel great and clothes are fitting me a lot better. 

 

Alcoholism centers in my mind and body not it the booze itself so once you become aware on the ISM(Inside Self &Mind) that voice that talks to you to convince you to drink than you can stop it! In time it gets easier. It’s like your mind is a muscle the more you work it the stronger it is. No voice, place, person, situation can take away my sobriety this time around. You have to become self aware, detox from the booze allow the body (ISM) to appear with the withdrawals and cravings. Once you stop drinking than you are left with untreated alcoholism because you are not treating it with its meds (booze) so that’s when its get hard and your mind goes a bit crazy, Temper, annoyed, hurt, sad, anger, lying to get the booze, denial just drinking wine or beer. Ill stop the hard liquor. Or ill just drink at night. Maybe just on Mondays. It will try and convince you because this mental disorder/parasite of a kind needs to thrive and stay alive. Also the metal disorder will come out in physical pain to try and get you to drink, night sweats, body aches, body itch’s, seizures, this is the body (ISM).  So how do you go from untreated Alcohol-ISM to treating it without booze? For me treating my disorder is a daily thing because it never goes away that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy because you can it just takes work and time. So I treat my Alcohol-ISM by becoming self-aware of my issues and try and heal old wounds, positive thinking, surrendering to a higher power, loving people and learning how to love myself, meditation, start new healthy hobbies, find a form of AA that works for ME, Change everything about my life if you walked on the right-side of the street start walking on the left side, you’ll start to see the street from a different angle thus see the world from a different level. Make new normal that consist of laughter, joy, gratefulness, and acceptance.

 

What’s the most incredible thing is it can end today and your life can change in a second a whole new normal and amazing normal. Once you accept that Alcoholism is a living ISM that centers in your mind and body than you can become aware of it so then you can start treating it! Also you stop admitting and start accepting the truth that your are an Addict but truly understand what role it has played in your life and connect it to your heart and realize that your life today is the direct result of your choices, no one else! Just you! Not the past, not the abuser, not your parents, not that story you’ve told your mind over and over and even told others.

 

It’s a hard thing to grasp because we are so used to the past creating how we see the world and others. It’s a proven fact that if you start thinking differently than your cells and DNA starts to change, so you are no longer that story, your old self.  You are now who you choose to be at the moment. You are your current thoughts. I am proof! I am in tears when I write this because for the past 29 days I wake up happy, excited for life, passion for long term goals. I see people differently and I have had some stressful moments but with my clear mind I let it go I surrender it to the universe. I DONT EVER NAME MY HIGHER POWER ON HERE BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE IT HAS TO BE THE SAME AS MINE TO GET SOBER, NO IT DOESN’T, WHATEVER HIGHER POWER YOU CONSIDER IT TO BE IN YOUR LIFE, GOD, UNIVERSE, MOON, SUN, A DOOR, A BUDDAH, A BLOW DYRER. There are plenty of roads to Rome you just have to find a road that is connecting to your heart and that works with your life.

 

I found my new normal and I love it. Cut everything out of your life that is unhealthy including love ones if you have to. You sobriety is number one because with out it nothing really matters and without sobriety you do not have anything inducing yourself.  

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

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June 12, 2014

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DAY 20 Sober: Back to my Roots!, Sober Hangover

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DAY 20 Sober: Back to my Roots!

HelloFriends in a few hours ill be headed back home! I can’t wait to see my family. It feels good to know I have a clear mind, which makes me open to reconnect, and I can also appreciate the time I spend with loved ones. I know that it’s important to create boundaries with people in your life especially if you feel like they can be harmful to your sobriety. It’s important for me to be selfish in this area of my life. My sobriety has to come before anything else. 

There are some local spots I am excited for like the Ace hotel, burger box, el Gallito, San Miguel, any pool really. I am kind of in the mood to go dancing. Its been a awhile since I got on the dance floor sober so that sounds fun but overall I am excited to see all the faces of my loved ones. I have still have a lot of healing to do with a lot of my past and parents. I know that will happen in time but going through my own addiction has brought me some understanding for my parents. I want to see them with an open heart and mind. Without the stain eyes I’ve seen them in the past. My eyes were stain with resentment, angry, and hurt. I want to embrace my parents with understanding, empathy, without judgment and ego, and love. I don’t know my parents story. So I have to go in without any judgment or ego. 

I want people to forgive me and hopefully give me tolerance, I have to do the same and if my parents are not open to it, then that’s ok. I will be fine. Life will go on and my sobriety will stay.  I used to only see what I did not have, so it blinded me from seeing all the love around me. Yes I had a profoundly misfortunate childhood but as a child I had a lot of great things in my life that I did not see at the time. I have four amazing brothers, a wonderful stepmother who was always there to help guide me in the right direction. Who loves me without any judgment and all of my loving crazy aunts. So that’s what ill be focusing on and maybe hit up some new spots. I have never just sat at a coffee shop and wrote. Maybe Ill starts new nonfiction there!

 

Thank you all again! Hope you join me on my trip back home! 20 days sober and so grateful!

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

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June 10, 2014

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DAY 18 Sober: Nightmare Withdrawals?, Sober Hangover

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DAY 18 Sober: Nightmare Withdrawals?

Hello Friends, 18 day sober and going strong, Today has been a great day. Ended my second job today which is such an amazing thing now it allows more writing and gives me time to focus on my long term goals. I am currently seating in a korean cafe that has the best coffee, tons of natural light and art.  The last few days Ive been so Exhausted from work, writing Sober is the new Black and trying to have a life. Ive been taking 3hr naps during the afternoon lately and i’ve been having intense nightmares that either wake me up or when i wake up i am in a funk that consist of deep sadness that last anywhere from 1 hr to 3 hrs. The dreams usually involves people I know suddenly passing away or my ex Flaunting a new love in front of me. I know its a dream but it so real that I wake up still feeling that same exact pain that I felt in the dream.  The first week of getting sober I would wake up trying to catch my breath. I wonder if these are withdrawals

 

So I did some research on getting sober and nightmares .. Nightmares are a very common symptom in Sobriety, they suggest low brain activity the last hour before sleep. No computer usage which is hard because I prefer to sleep with my lab top over anything even men! I am more creative at night and get most of ideas for Sober is the Black and I also write nonfiction stories that always comes alive at night. So its a bit of a dilemma but over all without health there is no writing so ill need to find a healthy medium. I also love dark film and Tv shows. From Gasper Noe to John Waters my nonfiction is inspired by them.

 

Also i heard Alcohol Destroys Vitamin D so maybe i need to start taking a multi vitamin that always push off until i get sick. I am sure this will pass in time. Thank you all for continuing this journey with me. I will be video blogging tonight.. I might post it tomorrow or tonight. Everybody be safe! Thank you universe for the strength to carry on into  my new normal!