Today is such a nice day in LA, My first sober holiday in a long time… about to head to Grand Park To see The Spanish Harlem Orchestra & Ricardo Lemvo. Ill be with some amazing peeps. So Today i woke up feeling great found a beer in my closet and some wine, ugh. tossed it out right away. I used to always hide my booze because i felt i could not be honest with myself or with others about my disorder. I used to buy non alcohol wine and fill it up with real wine just so i can seem sober or when i was with a group of friends including my ex i would head to the bar and order a Stella instead of O’doul’s, They looked the same in a glass, Thats what this disorder does once you try and get sober the ISM wants to stay alive so it makes you do crazy stuff so it can thrive ..thats why alcoholism really becomes an issue when you quit because you are not treating you alcoholism with its meds. You now have untreated alcoholism and it never goes away. My thoughts on non alcohol is its a bad idea there is still Alcohol in it and it keeps you needing beer or wine in your life .
I cannot go on lying or being deceitful . I need to start LIVING MY TRUTH and that will be a challenge because i don’t even know who i am but i can start by knowing i cant drink. I don’t know why but every time i start to write my blog tears start flowing…. maybe of joy, or maybe of relief or maybe of fear not sure. So what does living my truth mean to me? well i think it means first listening to your mind and body in stillness. Find a comfort place where all the noise from the world and your mind become silence. Then Reflect on what truth means to you and how you were taught truth in your childhood. Connect the dots from your past to your issues today. So that will be my first step into knowing why i am an addict, why i am program this way. Why do i want to drink alcohol over healthy relationships, love, and abundance?
The past few days being sober has been really good. I have a clear mind, Cleaned my Apartment, my body feels a lot better. The world around me seems a lot brighter and people have been reaching out. The most important thing i need to do is remind myself what alcohol has done to my life and what i have lost. Some one wise told me Baby steps and baby steps i shall. Today i will be blogging again. I am grateful for having 3 days sober and for all the love i am finding in myself.
Stay connect with love, Adolfo