DAY 90 Sober: Vows to Myself

Hello friends today is day 90 sober and it was a perfect day. I am grateful for this clear mind. Every moment today was perfect from the minute I woke up, to this late night writing session in this coffee shop/club. It’s really cool. It’s really dim with a DJ playing Warren G Regulate, only in Los Angeles. I still have a lot of growing to do. I notice recently I’ve been bit impatience at work and that needs to be worked on. I sometimes wonder how much of it is the addiction or can it just be a normal thing. Non-addicts get sad, mad, anger, impatience. I am glad I am aware of my issues and what needs to be work on; I would dislike to live a life thinking I am fine and perfect in a delusion state of mind. I love finding my faults and telling the whole world, it gives me a great opportunity to step up to the plate and figure it out so I can become great.

 

 

I had this idea as I was on my way to this coffee shop. The idea was making vows to myself. Married couples do it all the time but I feel like the most important ones are to ones self. Since I am growing and evolving, I wont be the same person in the future, I might have new issues and inner barriers to overcome so at the point I can renew my vows to myself. So I can one day be in a place I can make vows to someone else. So here is my list of vows to my self

 

1 I promise to stay sober

2 I promise to forgive everything and everybody so I can always live in a happy state

3 I promise to always create love for myself, only from within by positive thoughts and actions, telling myself how amazing I am as much as I can. Letting go of what society says I should be or look.

4 I promise to do what I like and stop doing things I dislike (as long as I stay sober)

5 Create compassion for others, taking my opinion out of it and just listen

6 I promise to stop looking at that damn scale and focus on the scale of my character

7 I promise to do more service, whether it’s making sober fun or helping young kids see the beauty in a sober mind

8 I promise to allow myself to fall down as long as I get up. Not that I want to but if I do I am still alive and I need to be grateful for that

9 Hangout with my inner divine and higher power more often.

10 MEDITATE MORE.

 

 

Sober is the New Black

 

Stay Connect with Love, Adolfo Vasquez

 

India Arie video is the perfect one for this post. My creator made no mistakes in making me from my thighs to my hair. Loving me unconditionally.

DAY 55 Sober: Now and Then

Hello friends today is day 55 sober, 5 more days away from 2 months. I am so grateful Ive made it this far.  There are some key differences this time around getting sober. When I stop drinking in the past I wanted to just stop drinking that’s it, I believe I had the power to live the same life, hangout out in the same places,  just stop the drinking not work on the cause. I Did not fully accept I was an addict. I thought I could eventually portion control my booze.  I did not understand that everything negative in my life was caused by my drinking.  I was Ashamed and Embarrassed to speak up about my Addiction and wanted know one to know. I did not understand That Alcohol-ISM (Inside Self & Mind) is a disorder that acts out when you are not treating it with Alcohol. The disorder will convince you to lie, cheat, steal to get booze. I was unaware that the voice in my head wasn’t me it was the ISM. It sounded like me, knew what story to tell me to get me to a bar.  I also didn’t know how to surrender to my Higher Power, as I understood it to be. I did  not realize that the my addiction stems from my childhood, booze helped me cope with life.  I was an addict before i took my first drink. 

I am so grateful my eyes are clear and Not only do I understand those things mention, I truly feel it in my bones and every cell of my body. Now the smell and sight of Alcohol makes me nauseous. Gives me a bitter taste of vomit and there is know longer an emotional attachment. I know ill never drink or crave booze but since I am not treating the ISM disorder (Inside self & Mind) it can resurface in my life in other ways, so I have to watch my mind, my feelings, and my thoughts.  Everything about my life has to change, if I used to walk on the right side of the street I now walk on the left side. 

This weekend I’ll be heading back home to Palm Springs, CA. I am very excited to see my family and friends. It feels good going back to my roots sober and clear minded. Other healing trip for me! I love walking down the same streets in a new character, A new me, A better me. A stronger me.

I am grateful for life, for my clear mind, my family, and for Sober is the New Black

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

This photo is my 4am at work face

4am sober face

4am sober face

DAY 47 Sober: Healthy Crying

Hello friend’s day 47 sober has arrived and I am feeling positive! Today I start a workout routine; I am pretty active now days but I don’t have a solid routine. I want a whole mind body and soul shift. AA is a program for my recovery form Alcohol-ism (Inside Self  & Mind) and I have started a life program which involves Reading and listening to spiritual teachers. Looking inward so I can find out what caused my issues, if I don’t find the cause (root) of my issues than it would surface in another areas of my life. Getting in touch with my emotions and learning how to feel and endure pain. Overcoming my fears and letting go. Getting to know my higher power and loving myself! 

 

Everything has changed in my life since I got sober, even the way I cry. Its going to be hard to explain but ill try my best. When I get sad a thought surfaces that cause the feeling of sadness than the thought leaves with the sadness and once that leaves my body just starts crying without me blinking or trying or thinking it just starts. It only last for a few moments and when it ends. I am happy again without those past feelings of sadness. My body is meant to grieve and move on. Before I would harper on the sadness causing pain while I cry and sitting with it, crying for hours. Now it just flows naturally without trying. It happened in public a few times I was kind of shocked the first time.  I did not try and stop the tears they eventually stop on their own.  Maybe Its because I am becoming self aware and its teaching me the right way to grieve. Crying is a great tool for me to relieve my mind and soul; it’s like a form of detoxing. I still have a long way to go but I know I am on the right path because I feel the universe presence at all times! I am grateful for this blog Sober is the New Black and for my progress so far!

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

  

DAY 41 Sober: Oprah Winfrey “Surrender”

Hello Friends today is day 41 Sober and it has been such an amazing day. I am sitting in a coffee shop in Koreatown, Ca. This place has been a safe place for me.  Sober is the New Black has been such a form of therapy for me and I am so grateful for it. Yesterday post on Oprah Winfrey was part one; the second part is about Surrendering. I saw this a while back and at the time I was struggling with surrendering but Oprah Winfrey has thought me how too. Surrendering brings so much peace.  Surrendering is a big part of me getting sober. The last few attempts at trying to stay sober was not successful because I thought I can do it on my own by not drinking. I did not understand the process of surrendering to a higher power! Once you Surrender to a higher power that you understand it to be in your life. Infinite Possibilities are waiting for you!

Hope this video helps anyone who is struggling with surrendering in any aspect in their life whether it be Loss, Addiction,or from past.

 

Stay Connect with love, Adolfo

DAY 27 Sober: Jersey Boy Clint Eastwood

Hello friends . I just left the film 1000 times good night and a staff member just handed me a free voucher for a Clint Eastwood new film Jersey boy.. So that means ill be in the same room with Clint Eastwood watching his film that hasn’t been released! Before I left my apartment I wasn’t even sure ill be able to see it let alone see it for free. Ill be watching with the cast ..Such an amazing gift from the universe, I am so grateful, and to Vince for this amazing experience. Sober is the new black!

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

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DAY 24 Sober: Is Good or Bad Real?

Hello friends its day 24 sober and I am back to the grind. I had such an amazing time back home, lots of food, love and great talks. My stepmother, aunt and myself stayed up late one night and had a necessary talk, I needed some clarity in the love part of my life and it came.  I heard exactly what I needed to move on, it will not be  easy but it will get easier and today was easier than yesterday. My family has been so supportive when it comes to my sobriety. I did not get any cravings for booze but there is a Mexican drink that’s called michelada or chavela that is really good. Its not really the beer that craved it was all the spices and tomato juice they put in. Not sure if they can make a virgin one but that has been the only craving but it passed with time. I’ve read that Alcoholism well the ISM can show up in different areas in your life, people can switch addictions to smoking, coffee and sex. So I have to watch my mind because I am very capable of all three. 

 

My Stepmother and aunts are very open-minded; self aware and positive mind watchers. We had a few discussions on if there is such thing as good and bad in life. Sometimes what we think is good for us is actually bad and sometimes what we think is bad for us is a great lesson.  I’m starting to believe the universe knows exactly what you need in your life so it gives you experiences not good nor bad just experiences so you can reach your full potential For example keying someone car wasn’t a bad thing because it thought me so much about myself and it brought me self awareness with my issues.  A week after that incident my car was keyed so I do believe in Karma whatever energy you put out you will get of good nor bad.   The universe already knows what I need for me to reach my full potential I just have to see the signs and be aware be in tune with what the

 

 

What if a lady is being abuse by her husband and one day she leaves then because going through all that she opens up this shelter that saves 1000 of woman from there abuser? So was going through that relationship a really bad or was it suppose to happen so she can save 1000 of lives. This are just thoughts in my head, just trying to figure out. Another example is two sisters living with an alcoholic mother who beats them both. One grows up to become successful doctor and one becomes a horrible addict. And if you asked them “ what shaped your life into what it is today?” and they answer their mother. So was growing up with their mother a good thing or bad thing?

 Is it how we see the world; with are mind?  that there is no bad nor good just how we see the situation? I leave it at that.

I am grateful for being sober and for all of you! Thank you so much

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

 

 

DAY 22 Sober: Heading back to LA

Hello friends its day 22 sober and I am having a great day.  The past couple of days have been amazing. It was nice being back home sober. I wish I had more time to see all my loved ones. I did not get a chance to see my mom but I did get to talk to her,  She seems in a good place, which brought me some comfort! I did get a little sad yesterday morning; I think I was just missing my apartment and routine. I did start having Alcoholism thoughts that consist of some negative thoughts, I thought people were disappointed in me for all the chaos I caused but my mind was trying to tell me a false story but I caught it before in ruin my day. Alcoholism doesn’t care how amazing the surroundings are around you it will always try and come out so I can hit that bottle again but I am so happy that I can now catch it before it gets to that point. I just change the thought process. 

 

I been wanting to get a Remembrance tattoo for my love Magnolia but the artist I use is out here. I knew this trip would be the perfect time. Magnolia is with me all the time, I feel her and see her in my dreams. It came out perfect. I will be getting some other tattoos soon including a Sober is the new black.  This trip has been filled with laughter, great talks and some amazing food.  I made some great moments that will eventually over shadow the drunken moments. I see people around me differently, ever person that I meet I want to connect with them and know their story. I want to love everyone that comes into contact with me. My eyes, heart and my eyes are clear at the moment. I just have to stay sober and focus on my long-term goals. My mind is a beautiful thing I just cant let it become my enemy again. In 8 days ill be 30 days and I can’t believe it! 

 

I’m leaving with peace in my heart for my father and mother. When I get back home I will be eating better, still focusing on staying sober, building on new relationships and old ones, write, write, write, love, love and love! This trip is amazing but I am excited to get back to LA and hit up my coffee shops. Thank you Universe for this amazing trip I am so Grateful for this trip.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

My Trip

My Trip