Hello friends today is day 55 sober, 5 more days away from 2 months. I am so grateful Ive made it this far. There are some key differences this time around getting sober. When I stop drinking in the past I wanted to just stop drinking that’s it, I believe I had the power to live the same life, hangout out in the same places, just stop the drinking not work on the cause. I Did not fully accept I was an addict. I thought I could eventuallyportion control my booze. I did not understand that everything negative in my life was caused by my drinking. I was Ashamed and Embarrassed to speak up about my Addiction and wanted know one to know. I did not understand That Alcohol-ISM (Inside Self & Mind) is a disorder that acts out when you are not treating it with Alcohol. The disorder will convince you to lie, cheat, steal to get booze. I was unaware that the voice in my head wasn’t me it was the ISM. It sounded like me, knew what story to tell me to get me to a bar. I also didn’t know how to surrender to my Higher Power, as I understood it to be. I did not realize that the my addiction stems from my childhood, booze helped me cope with life. I was an addict before i took my first drink.
I am so grateful my eyes are clear and Not only do I understand those things mention, I truly feel it in my bones and every cell of my body. Now the smell and sight of Alcohol makes me nauseous. Gives me a bitter taste of vomit and there is know longer an emotional attachment. I know ill never drink or crave booze but since I am not treating the ISM disorder(Inside self & Mind) it can resurface in my life in other ways, so I have to watch my mind, my feelings, and my thoughts. Everything about my life has to change, if I used to walk on the right side of the street I now walk on the left side.
This weekend I’ll be heading back home to Palm Springs, CA. I am very excited to see my family and friends. It feels good going back to my roots sober and clear minded. Other healing trip for me! I love walking down the same streets in a new character, A new me, A better me. A stronger me.
I am grateful for life, for my clear mind, my family, and for Sober is the New Black