11 Months Sober

Hello friends, today 11 months sober. I’m in my hometown Palm Springs Ca. Surrounded by loved ones. Today I woke up and cried tears of happiness and gratitude. I never thought I would be 11 months sober feeling content and peaceful. Today I will spoil myself a bit. I make every day count but also celebrate every minute that I am sober. For the first time I feel in control of my life, making right moves, creating love, creating happiness, creating positive thoughts, seeing people in the light of love and not in EGO. As I writing this down, tears are covering my keyboard. I be Heading to Las Vegas Nevada in a few hrs. Going to celebrate with family but before I will be spend sometime with my high power. Give thanks for my sobriety.

 

No cravings for that old life just moving forward in this newly found sober life. I’ve been self reflecting a lot more these days, now that Ive healed old wounds. As days go on I find myself feeling very content and happy on were my life is headed. I have to see the positive in each day. I also realized my writings and poetry are something new. When I first started writing the vision in my head did not match the end product. I just wasn’t that great or skilled. In my head I had this vision but when I put pen to paper I found myself lost or dissatisfied. I knew I had a talent in writing. The only way to get better is by volume of work. I do love what I write and some stuff is great and some stuff is not up to par. I just need to keep writing and the gap between my vision and end product will get smaller, eventually syncing and there will be no gap.

 

I sometimes have to remind myself writing should be for me, only write what I know, feel and been through. I cannot write someone else story or  write for others opinion or try to always end on a positive note. Sometimes things happens and the end result doesn’t feel positive at that time. I am sure eventually a lesson will surface but I have to write in the moment.

I can’t be in fear of writing something that isn’t good or fear failure because it will happen. The Fear of Failure can prevent me from achieving dreams and reaching my full potential. When I was an active addict my whole day was fear based. Fear of losing love, fear of trying, fear of dying, fear of my own greatness as a child I was so anxiety ridden. So now I force myself to write everyday. In bed before I sleep. On the morning commute. Lunch breaks. Even quick notes and ideas. I carry my Mac and notebook with me all times. So I can write down ideas before they escape my mind.

 

So what’s my dream?  spend my days writing and helping other see their full potential. Bring awareness to addiction. Making sober cool in our youth. Writing for film or TV. Become a published author. All those dreams will come true, all I got to do is stay SOBER…. Sober is the New Black

 

Here are some poems I’d birth the past couple of weeks.

 

My Ex saw a light in me when i was at my darkest state, He fought so hard for me to see my capability. So happy I see the light now.

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We’ve all been to places that are dark. People might judge from the roads you have walked. Let them go if they are committed to not understanding you

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As a child i felt loneliness to the extreme, daydreaming was my escape.

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One of the greatest lessons sobriety has brought is the lesson below

 

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This one is about …… people coming back into your life once you are in recovery. If you are blessed enough mending those relationship.

 

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Losing love and getting sober is hard. trust me hahahaha

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Surrendering is a beautiful thing

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Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

 

 

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