TODAY IS DAY 50 SOBER! It’s been such a great journey so far! Today has been a quite and relaxing day. I was in bed all day watching harry potter and ornage is the new black! Love that show! I just got to my friend Lenny house. She in the shower so I figured it was a great time for me to write a bit. We both will be sober dancing away tonight! I love being sober and waking up the next day not half dead. Lenny and I used to run around Koreatown a drunken mess, passing out on sidewalks, pissing in plain view of people. Day drinking leading into night drinking so by the time we walk into the club we are already blackout. Their was this one time we pulled up to a club in a taxi but I couldn’t even make it out so I had the taxi drive me back home. We used to be drunk and drunker.
So this is the first time we are hanging out since I got sober, I have not seen Lenny in over 2 months. She has been so supportive since my break up and she is an amazing friend. When I first got here we caught up a bit. She started to slow her drinking down. I am happy for her! She was the first friend I made out her. We worked at this restaurant in koreatown and we connected right away. Tonight we will be heading to West Hollywood or Brass Monkey in ktown. Not sure yet. Today I said my pray and ask my higher power to guide me today so I know I am in good hands. I am grateful for life, great friends, and for everybody who has been reaching out with their stories. Today I spoke to someone who has been sober for 8 years; she is an amazing woman who I admire. Its people like her that keeps my inspired to keep writing. Thank you all for reading and hope you all have a wonderful night!
Stay connect with love, Adolfo
Hello friends coming to my end of 49 days sober. My previous Fridays used to consist of drunken blurs surrounded by others but now I find myself alone often , soul searching, writing, reading, and trying to figure out my issues. Fridays are my peace days. The chaos that comes with the week comes to an end and I am now well rested, ready for the weekend. Fridays are my time to reflect on how I can improve my awareness of my Body and mental disorder called Alcoholism for the following week. Sober is the New Black has been a great tool . I learned that if I don’t get enough sleep I could become very unhappy at work! I really need to get sleep or learn how to coupe with not getting enough sleep. Learning how to coupe with tried-ness without the booze is a bit hard but I am glad I am aware enough to fix it.
Fridays will now be my soul-searching days to guide me to a sober weekend ahead! Instill some courage, joy, and self-awareness is really fulfilling. The drunken blackouts, chaos, self abusive, not dealing with my issues, not dealing with feelings, hurting loved ones, vomiting my booze only to make room for more, eating nothing so I can get a quick buzz and not eating to stay drunk, waking up with body pain and mental pain only to do it all over again Saturday is not soul fulfilling anymore. I am starting to see the beauty in a quite night, I don’t want to sound like an introvert prude that doesn’t enjoy being around people but I need these Fridays to reflect so I can be a fun loving person dancing away with others in a night club. I do enjoy a great dance!
Sobriety is bringing me an understanding of what validation means in my life . I love hearing shares. To understand them without opinions or judgments. To really connect with their words and feelings. Show compassion and empathy without a single thought of deposition. I am not my brothers’ keeper; I am brother so when he suffers I suffer. I got a tattoo a couple years ago subconsciously not fully understanding the meaning but now I get it! Now I fully connect with it. Its in a shape of a heart and it reads “I am you, you are me we are one” For me I see it as we both are separate identities but when you take away all are individual beauty that’s make us all amazing, I feel we find a common thread that connects each other souls. I want to live in that space always!
Oprah shows on her own network have been such a help in giving me advice and tools to implement in my life, I know people have their on views on her but I enjoy adding spiritual stuff to my life also with my program, It works for me and keeps me sober! And staying sober has to be me my number love in my life. The rest will fellow!
Here is a video that helps me with understanding how to disconnect from my past story my mind tells me about in my present!
Stay connect with love, Adolfo
Hello World, Today is Day 8 Sober and i am feeling so good. I got 8 hrs of sleep with no Friday hangover! Its pretty awesome to know i wont ever experience a hangover. I am at Iota cafe, Such an awesome atmosphere. Today will be a first in a very long time. A sober saturday sounded like a hell in the past now it seems like a blast to know exactly how its going to end. In the past with my Alcoholism it would always end ugly. Or regretful. Its good to know i am in control of my saturday nights from mow on. Why are saturdays such a self abusive night for youth. Alcohol is such a powerful drug that has killed millions directly and in directly and yet still legal but end the its the youths mind that makes those choices. I am currently seating next to a couple who is about to order a craft beer. Craft beer was my favorite especially IPA’s. I am sipping on a carmel latte. I can spell the hops from here but i am staying focus and not even a visual or smell can take away my Happiness and focus.
Not sure whats on the agenda for tonight maybe some bored games, food, karaoke, I do love to dance. I am so in love with Ktown! Ill be with some awesome and supportive peeps. Its important to have that in your life but if you don’t thats ok because in the end of the day the only person that keeps you sober is yourself. I am starting to get back that passion again for things i wanted to do when i got older. I feel like my disorder stunted my growth so i am still that high school kid trying to figure out whats next. Well i have an amazing passion for film and writing. As a kid film took me away from the chaos that surround my childhood, For 2 hrs i would not be worrying about my next meal, or if i am going to get beat. I would live vicariously through the actors on screen and act out scenes, i would even practice my oscar speech over and over again. As i got older my taste and film has gotten a bit snobby i must admit but nonetheless the passion still there to Act, Write and create.
I have been in few things and I have started writing an amazing story but i am bias of course. Sia on pandora is pretty amazing at the moment. I will be filling you guys in on my first saturday sober in a video blog. I am so grateful for life and for the love that surrounds me thats shine through me. Staying sober and watching the disorder that centers in my mind will take work but I am one million times ready to take it on and eventually the disorder will loose so much power it would be more life a bird chirp than a train horn. Thank you all for reading this and for being so supportive!
Stay connect with love, Adolfo