DAY 56 Sober: Homeward bound

Hello friends Today is day 56 sober, I woke up feeling really blessed. Today I travel back home to palm springs for the weekend. I always enjoy heading back, seeing family, seeing great friends, and of course eating all the yummy food I miss.  Going back Sober means a lot to me, in the past when I went home my mindset wasn’t clear, I had angry built up for my birth parents, I was drunk most of the time, I did not enjoy the moments. I probably wont see my birth parents but I do love them and wish them well. This trip will be filled with lots of love, food, laughter, tons of relatives, and a trip to a local Gay club. I love to dance and I need to start doing more stuff I love to do and less stuff I don’t like doing, life is to short. Maybe I can find a make out buddy but I won’t be holding my breath. 

My old night life in palm springs was always chaos before I would head out I knew that something would happen that will either lead to a drunken argument, fight, losing my ride home, arrest, getting kicked out of the club or bar, tying to score, tons of vomit and some crazy fling that was pretty horrible, I really had no respect for my body at all. I started going to a popular club around 15 yrs. old since then I’ve been kicked out tons of time.  I still can’t believe I made it out of Palm Springs alive and that I am in the space that I am in right now. Dancing is fun but I also want to sit a coffee shop and write, when I lived in the desert my mindset was in a different place so to do what I love back home would be a nice change. I never would write back home, I know my creative inspiration would blossom.

I enjoy somewhat of a routine in my life and when I don’t have it I get a bit sad, I feel like it stems from having such an unstable childhood and no really security, I so need that now but I need to change that it’s not healthy I am no longer in that environment.  I need to focus on the moments and say my grateful prayer each morning. It’s usually in the shower, cleanse from the day before. A refreshing new start. I give up every negative thought that bother me the day before, I ask my high power turn me upside down shake out all the negative thoughts, anger, hurt, pain, past, ego, fear, people criticism and put in happy thoughts, courage, compassion, love, joy, laughter, accepting of others, creativity, awareness and stillness. I used to look outward for those things but those are all created from within, I am the co-creator with the ultimate creator. Sober is the New Black

I am grateful for life, being sober, for family and for my aunt Angie for picking me up!

The killers are one of my favorite band of all time. The killers carry me home is the perfect road trip

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

DAY 34 Sober: Sober Night Out!

Hello friends day 34 sober, just got in from a night out with some friends! I had such a fun time and I was sober.  In the past when i quit drinking I would dread going out because i wasn’t able to drink. I thought it was impossible to have a great time sober! I would be suffering inside well everybody drinks. I was still in the mindset of wanting to quit drinking and still wanting to live my normal life, I didn’t realize that every aspect of my old life had to change and I had to make a new normal! A better normal! I wanted to still hangout in bars with friends that were not healthy for me. I want to still surround myself with things that made me want to drink. It was that mental disorder that kept me in that routine because it wanted its fix! but now I am aware of the mental disorder call Alcohol-ISM (Inside Self & Mind) so now i can catch it when it feeds my mind lies and stories. 

 

So Tonight we ended up at a place called BEER BELLY which is a beer bar but this time around there was now craving of any sort, My craving now is for life and my long term goal! Beer belly has the best blue cheese & BuffaloWings, Duck Fries and Garlic Mac & Cheese! Its specality bar food! So i know now thats its possible to have an amazing time out on the town sober! life is amazing! I am so grateful for all the love and support! 

Sober Fun!

Sober Fun!

photo 1

Stay connect with love , Adolfo

DAY 3 Sober: Living my Truth

Today is such a nice day in LA, My first sober holiday in a long time… about to head to Grand Park To see The Spanish Harlem Orchestra & Ricardo Lemvo. Ill be with some amazing peeps.  So Today i woke up feeling great found a beer in my closet and some wine, ugh. tossed it out right away. I used to always hide my booze because i felt i could not be honest with myself or with others about my disorder. I used to buy non alcohol wine and fill it up with real wine just so i can seem sober or when i was with a group of friends including my ex i would head to the bar and order a Stella instead of O’doul’s, They looked the same in a glass, Thats what this disorder does once you try and get sober the ISM wants to stay alive so it makes you do crazy stuff so it can thrive ..thats why alcoholism really becomes an issue when you quit because you are not treating you alcoholism with its meds. You now have untreated alcoholism and it never goes away. My thoughts on non alcohol is its a bad idea there is still Alcohol in it and it keeps you needing beer or wine in your life .

I cannot go on lying or being deceitful . I need to start LIVING MY TRUTH and that will be a challenge because i don’t even know who i am but i can start by knowing i cant drink. I don’t know why but every time i start to write my blog tears start flowing…. maybe of  joy, or maybe of  relief  or maybe of fear not sure. So what does living my truth mean to me?  well i think it means first listening to your mind and body in stillness. Find a comfort place where all the noise from the world and your mind become silence. Then Reflect on what truth means to you and how you were taught truth in your childhood. Connect the dots from your past to your issues today. So that will be my first step into knowing why i am an addict, why i am program this way. Why do i want to drink alcohol over healthy relationships, love, and abundance? 

 

The past  few days being sober has been really good. I have a clear mind, Cleaned my Apartment,  my body feels a lot better. The world around me seems a lot brighter and people have been reaching out. The most important thing i need to do is remind myself what alcohol has done to my life and what i have lost. Some one wise told me Baby steps and baby steps i shall. Today i will be blogging again. I am grateful for having 3 days sober  and for all the love i am finding in myself.  

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo