DAY 46 Sober: End of day thoughts

Hello friends its 46 day sober and its the end of day. Today has been craving free and a really good day. I had to check myself a bit today; I did not sleep well last night so the lack of sleep mix with Alcoholism came out. Everything and everybody annoyed me even down to my dinner being made incorrectly. As I lay in bed I wonder if that was my Alcoholism or Ego. People who aren’t addicts get annoyed over small stuff.  This is something I need to be aware of because I don’t want to have a fuck it moment. I am glad I can reflect on my day and I can see what I can improve on and hopefully the universe will bless me with another day so I can work out my issues. 

 

Feeding your mind, body and soul with nutrients such as laughter, joy, healthy food, meditation, you time, sleep, vitamins, a great work out, positive thoughts helps you get through hard moments and clears your mind so you can be aware when alcoholism starts infecting your mind. I am really ok knowing that their is know cure. It makes me have to always work on myself . There are people who aren’t addicts who don’t get the chance to work on themselves so I kind of feel blessed to have this disorder called alcoholism because it forces me to have constant growth, find a higher power and become a very self aware person. As crazy as it may sound if I did not have this disorder I would still be angry, A victim from my childhood, full of hate, selling my body, a lost soul wandering this world without ever knowing me or my potential, Maybe this disorder called addiction was put in my life so I can over come my past and break the family cycle that’s plagued my family for generations. These are my last thoughts before I say my prayer and get some much-needed rest! I will be making a video blog tomorrow it’s been awhile but its needs to happen! I am grateful for life, for not wanting to be right but always searching for truth, for everybody who takes a moment to join me on this journey of sobriety…. My bed time song is from Eddie Vedder Society

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

DAY 17 Sober: Cleaning house

Hello friends, just finish dinner. Today was a great day so far. I had a 3hour nap felt really good but I woke up in a bit of a bad mood. I usually wake up in a good mood, maybe there is a lot of stuff on my mind and once I am awake tons of thoughts are waiting to greet me. I need to clear my mind a bit.  Part of my healing is stop doing stuff I dislike doing.  So I am leaving my second job it caused a lot of stress and took a lot of energy out of me. So my last day is today and the boss just text me tons of stuff to do before I leave. I don’t want to leave the company in a bind so I will but that’s the last thing you want to see after a beautiful nap! OK no more complaining for me, if I feel the need to, I will only for moments. I have to remind myself life is so short and even a few moments of complaining is such a waste and can be focus on my amazing progress!

 

There is a lot of things I am going to cut out of my life, Including certain hangout spots like beer belly and franks, no need to put myself in the past!! Only looking to the future Also wine glass are out the door alongside my hat that reads BEER, which was my favorite but BEER is no longer part of my life. Certain people have to be flushed from my new amazing life, still love them but need to love me above all.  I need to create a clear sphere that I stay in at all times that nothing negative can penetrate form the world and keep love, joy, gratefulness, mindful thoughts, and sober flowing in and out into the universe. The more I am sober I realize addiction was placed in my life for a reason, maybe because the universe new I was strong enough to end this family disorder! I am David and alcoholism is the goliath. I know this battle has just begun but I know I will never stop fighting.  Addiction is in my life for reason I truly believe that maybe it’s a blessing of some sort that I am unaware of it at the moment. When you are in the battle you don’t see the long term rewards but I know the rewards are so huge my small tiny eyes cant see it at the moment and its so delicate only dogs and cats can hear it! I will one day!

 I want to end with if there is anyone out there who reads this who is suffering I stand with you. You are an amazing soul that has so much potential lets find Ares together and make Sober the new Black

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo