DAY 53 SOBER: Wine Stain Pain

Hello friends, today is coming to an end of day 53 sober. It’s been an amazing day, I appreciate all the support I have been getting form Sober is the New Black. Recovery has been such a beautiful gift for my mind, body and soul. My eyes are focus straight ahead, no looking back, forward I go. I can’t waste energy turning my head back; it takes away from the energy moving forward. I feel like my body is still detoxing a bit. My skin is a bit Itchy and having some mild headaches but those will soon past. Creating a new normal is exciting but can also be a bit confusing at times, so used to some old habits and ways. Simple stuff  I miss like cooking but Cooking for one seems wasteful also now I have to clean my whole apt but I just want to do stuff that’s fun, and cleaning isn’t on my list of things I enjoy doing but its something I need to be better at. It takes a week to get the courage to clean my apt to only destroy it the next day. 

Today on my way to work their was this homeless man laying at the stoplight I was at. Its hard for me to pass by someone homeless and not give something whether in be food, a couple dollars or just a smile. I gave him a buck, only had cards but he smelled of booze, so much so I could taste it. It really shook me because that could have been me and Alcoholism is a progressive disorder if you don’t stop. I don’t know the mans story, if he became one after the streets or before but what is clear to me is he had a mother, brother, maybe a father, or maybe even a Vince but Alcoholism will take it all away.  Alcohol kills everything alive in your life and Preserves everything that is dead and yet it took 8 years to really understand what that means but I am grateful I made it alive to understand. Its nothing to take lightly and takes constant work, its not like a college were you get a degree in four years than move on, nope its more like life long school on oneself and the subjects are the 12 steps, your issues, past, metal thoughts, how to cope with emotions, AA, learning how to be of service. It’s a life long education on you and you have to really want it, really understand the work that is put into it.  

 I am an Addict so I know how to do misery, victim, easy way out, hurting people and myself, lazy, very stagnant in my past very well but happy thoughts, surrendering, working on getting to know my high power as I understand it, learning how to coupe with hardships without using, being of service, forgiveness, Acceptance all take work some easier than others but all equally important. I will have to do them over and over for the rest of my life and that’s ok because life sober well be so amazing, it will smell so sweet, everything will be brighter, dreams will come true, love, joy, finding oneself, connecting with ones soul and others, being in the moment, courage to overcome, gratefulness, compassion and empathy, hugs and kisses, clear minded, falling in love with one self and blossoming talent. THOSE BUZZES, THOSE HIGHES, THOSE FIXES all sound more appealing than THAT WHISKEY POSION, THAN THE WINE STAIN PAIN AND THAT BEER BELLY OF EMPTINESS!

I am so grateful for my writings, for the fingers typing and the Alcohol free blood that runs through my veins.  Here is some nice tunes Ingrid Michaelson Everybody.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo 10485523_10152262901331295_2548243118190978580_n

DAY 34 Sober: Sober Night Out!

Hello friends day 34 sober, just got in from a night out with some friends! I had such a fun time and I was sober.  In the past when i quit drinking I would dread going out because i wasn’t able to drink. I thought it was impossible to have a great time sober! I would be suffering inside well everybody drinks. I was still in the mindset of wanting to quit drinking and still wanting to live my normal life, I didn’t realize that every aspect of my old life had to change and I had to make a new normal! A better normal! I wanted to still hangout in bars with friends that were not healthy for me. I want to still surround myself with things that made me want to drink. It was that mental disorder that kept me in that routine because it wanted its fix! but now I am aware of the mental disorder call Alcohol-ISM (Inside Self & Mind) so now i can catch it when it feeds my mind lies and stories. 

 

So Tonight we ended up at a place called BEER BELLY which is a beer bar but this time around there was now craving of any sort, My craving now is for life and my long term goal! Beer belly has the best blue cheese & BuffaloWings, Duck Fries and Garlic Mac & Cheese! Its specality bar food! So i know now thats its possible to have an amazing time out on the town sober! life is amazing! I am so grateful for all the love and support! 

Sober Fun!

Sober Fun!

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Stay connect with love , Adolfo

DAY 17 Sober: Cleaning house

Hello friends, just finish dinner. Today was a great day so far. I had a 3hour nap felt really good but I woke up in a bit of a bad mood. I usually wake up in a good mood, maybe there is a lot of stuff on my mind and once I am awake tons of thoughts are waiting to greet me. I need to clear my mind a bit.  Part of my healing is stop doing stuff I dislike doing.  So I am leaving my second job it caused a lot of stress and took a lot of energy out of me. So my last day is today and the boss just text me tons of stuff to do before I leave. I don’t want to leave the company in a bind so I will but that’s the last thing you want to see after a beautiful nap! OK no more complaining for me, if I feel the need to, I will only for moments. I have to remind myself life is so short and even a few moments of complaining is such a waste and can be focus on my amazing progress!

 

There is a lot of things I am going to cut out of my life, Including certain hangout spots like beer belly and franks, no need to put myself in the past!! Only looking to the future Also wine glass are out the door alongside my hat that reads BEER, which was my favorite but BEER is no longer part of my life. Certain people have to be flushed from my new amazing life, still love them but need to love me above all.  I need to create a clear sphere that I stay in at all times that nothing negative can penetrate form the world and keep love, joy, gratefulness, mindful thoughts, and sober flowing in and out into the universe. The more I am sober I realize addiction was placed in my life for a reason, maybe because the universe new I was strong enough to end this family disorder! I am David and alcoholism is the goliath. I know this battle has just begun but I know I will never stop fighting.  Addiction is in my life for reason I truly believe that maybe it’s a blessing of some sort that I am unaware of it at the moment. When you are in the battle you don’t see the long term rewards but I know the rewards are so huge my small tiny eyes cant see it at the moment and its so delicate only dogs and cats can hear it! I will one day!

 I want to end with if there is anyone out there who reads this who is suffering I stand with you. You are an amazing soul that has so much potential lets find Ares together and make Sober the new Black

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo