DAY 115 Sober: Family of Addiction

Hello Friends today is day 115 sober, I got back from my hometown of Palm Springs ca. My friend Lisa from Oklahoma came out, I have not seen her in over 4 years. It was nice reintroducing myself, a sober, calmer me but still similar. It seems like there was not enough time to catch up but I am glad we had the small time together. We danced the night away, I did not crave a drink one bit. I had a tonic and lime also a red bull. I love bars and clubs that give free soda or free non-alcoholic drinks to Designated Driver, It’s a wonderful idea and I hope more bars do the same. I got to see old friends. Hang with family and make new friends.

 

Dancing the night away sober filled with sweaty nights, great music, laughs and soda pop, and a late night fast food run after is a perfect night that shows it is possible to live a “sober is the new black” kind of life. This new normal is now the normal and I love it. I did not get to see everyone I would like to but I will after this work season is over. I wanted to get a tattoo but that would have to wait. Never enough time. What’s keeping me sober is getting control of the mind voice that is my disease and staying focus on self-healing.

 

My family is plagued with the curse of addiction my grandfather was an addict who passed away from booze. My father and mom both suffered from addiction I believe both have stopped but are not in a program of self healing so they are both filled with hurt, anger and making poor decisions, I feel they might still be using some other drug than meth maybe weed or booze not sure. I also have brothers that suffer from addiction. The longer I stay sober the deeper disgust I have for booze and drugs, it robbed my family from so much from potential. I Even sometimes finding myself wanting to break every bottle of booze in stores but I know its not the booze it’s the mind of the addict that allows us to lose are self.

 

This family curse will end with me so my kids and their kids will not be plagued with this family curse. I still have tons of work to do and learning how to heal the best way and its putting pen to paper this poem I wrote is for my mom. It’s a bit harsh but the pain she has caused is real and its written from that 3 year who had no voice, who was beaten black and blue with blood spills, no love, only fondled touches and anxiety ridden from drug fueled rage. All I had was nothing. Sober is the new black. Grateful for the reader, for love, for my healing writings, for life, for my strength, and my survivor skills.

 

 

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Stay Connect with love,  Adolfo Vasquez

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2 thoughts on “DAY 115 Sober: Family of Addiction

  1. Wow. Your poem really struck a chord in my heart. I have 5 children, ages 25 to 16. My youngest one passed but he wuld be 11 this year. I have been an addict almost all my life and have had the blessing to stay clean and sober for a few years at a time at different points in my life.. I’m trying to get this right AGAIN. I’m also the daughter of 2 addicts and you are so right. We do have to forgive our parents. As I’ve told my kids , if I cant forgive my parents how can I expect them to forgive me. I look at my parents now, still doing their thing and not trying to change at all and I feel so bad for them. I have to wonder what caused them to make the choices they’ve made. We don’t become addicts by choice. Sure, we choose to drugs in the beginning, but at some point we no longer have the choice. May God bless your heart. You are an exceptionally talented young man. My daughter has been writing poetry since she was very young. I’m sure its very therapeutic for you to be able to express your feeling this way. I’m sure your writings will help others just the way it helped me today. Keep fighting the good fight. It works if you work it.

    • I am sorry for your loss, you are one brave soul. So glad to hear you are fighting back against this mind disorder. That is awesome you daughter is writing it helps so much internally. you inspire me, i just want to help someone else how might be struggling, let them know they are not alone and also just because we are addicts does not mean we are incapable of achieving greatness.

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