DAY 13 Sober: My Dreams

Hello my friends! I am a day away from 2 weeks sober and I cant believe how much my life has changed in two weeks the world just opened up with possibilities that I never thought could or would ever happen. I am ever so grateful; my goal is to always live in a state of gratefulness. There is so much I want to start doing since I got sober, Get a bike, Volunteer, Dance more, write more. Those are some of my short-term goals! 

Some of my long-term goals I’ve always carried into my adulthood from childhood but my Alcoholic mind kept them hidden from my Reality are Film and television. They saved my life growing up! It took me away form reality into a Fantasyland for 2hrs, nothing around me matter in those moments. Film and Television gave me hope and also thought me so much. I learn so much from the Oprah show! TV and film was my parent. There were several days I would watch film after film after film, laughing and crying. I would spend all day at a one-dollar movie theater. I grew up with TV from Mickey Mouse Club, to Barney, to Power Rangers, to Friends, to Oprah, Ellen and now American Horror Story. I still till this day request days off of work for the Oscars, GG, Emmys and SAG awards (or call in). When I was a kid I would recreate scenes in my room and even recreate an alternate ending.  I knew in my heart at very young age film and TV is where ill end up one day, I did not care if was a background, grip, writer, director, craft service. If I can work on film or show that can inspire a kid like me then my job is done in life. I cant in vision a higher dream then to be part of a film or show that inspire youth to dream big and help them hold on for a bit longer because life eventually happen and life is such a beautiful thing. For me it’s only that way if I continue to stay sober. 

My first acting performance was in fourth grade in Ms. George class with a fellow actor. I forgot the scene. I eventually started drama class in middle school through sophomore year. My first play was Annie and of course I played sandy (Annie dog) I was the best damn sandy there was! In high school I made drama honors in Miss Douglass class and that’s when the reality of my childhood caught up with my dreams. Sophomore year my family and I became homeless once again but this time it affected my school. I was in honors and college prep class for English and drama. I was getting academic awards but I needed to work ASAP. I remember sleeping in back of taco bell in Indio California. Finally my drama teacher Ms. Douglass pulled me into the office kind of scolding me saying, ” Adolfo wants wrong?” You have so much Potential?” why is you aren’t focus anymore. I of course lied for my mom because I was scared. Till this day I wonder what would happen if I spoke up, how different would have my life and brothers life been. If I just said something. So I dropped out of high school and went to continuation school because I had to work.

 

Now I am 28 and I am ready to pick up my childhood dream and go for it. I did some Acting recently for some shows that I am so grateful to have worked on. Silicon valley is one of the shows. I was a drunk at the time. So I cant even imagine the potential now that I am sober. Nothing is going to stop me this time not even the Alcoholism!

 

Thank you world and friends for reading this and continue to follow me on the journey of sobriety.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

 

 

 

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DAY 13 Sober: Self Control

Hello today is day 13 sober and it’s around 5am. I am a bit tired but feeling excited to be sober and very grateful. The past few days have been pretty awesome. I’ve been trying to eat better and trying to stay active. I want my mind, body and soul to become healthy all around. My mental disorder Alcoholism is alive, last night I caught mind making up scenarios that have not even occurred and it was negative. It was taking away a great moment of my surpassing 1000 views. Alcoholism wants to destroy everything great so the only thing you have is the booze. You have to be a mind watcher. I was able to shut it down quick. 

 

Since I have gotten sober I am realizing that Addicts Lack self control. I tend find something I like then want it everyday until I get sick of it for example Recently I’ve been loving Sushi and I have been eating it everyday for the past couple of weeks and that is a lack of self control. Self-control is a muscle that can be worked and strengthen. My self-control has gotten a lot better from my Alcoholic days. In the past I would be easily influence by instant gratification. I should have been focus on long term gratifications.  We have self-control to obtain goals in life and I had zero! No real goals except to over drink. I would tell myself I am not going to drink for two days and then I would go on a two-week binge. That vicious cycle went on for years. 

 

I need to train my brain, Meditation actually trains your Brian to become a self-control machine and it improves your Emotional intelligence.  Even simple techniques like mindfulness, which involves taking as little as five minutes a day to focus on nothing more than your breathing and your senses, improves your self-awareness and your brain’s ability to resist destructive impulses. I also need to Sleep more, eat better, workout because this helps your mind build self-control. Also I need to just let the craving come and go. Cravinsg last about 10 min and if you fail pick your self up and forgive yourself.

 

Life is a beautiful ride that has ups and downs but if you fall in love with life the ride wont be so bad. 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo