8 Months Sober

Hello Friends today is 8 months sober, today I feel content with my recovery process. I’m grateful for life, human connection, and for finding myself every day. I’m starting to understand what they mean by its not the destination its all about the journey. I have to embrace every circumstance life brings me with a positive outlook. Rewiring my mind to see the world in a positive way. The way I use to see the world and understand the world was with eyes molded from past pain, childhood traumas, low self-esteem and fear. All those intertwined caused my substance abuse disorder. I did not know how to have a human connection so I bonded with alcohol, now I am learning to see everybody in the light of love and understanding without ego.

Last week I felt empty and couldn’t understand why but a spiritual teacher by the name of Jesse Ann Nichols George spoke some words to me that really help me understand the feeling of emptiness. The feeling of emptiness is a sign of progression. I have emptied myself from the negative and I can fill my life with something new, mindful and purpose filled. Going to start pushing myself to write Short stories, still writing poetry but I need to push myself with my writing. I felt a bit stagnant so grateful for her wisdom.

At 8 months sober, my eyes see my surroundings in a different way, I notice things I have yet seen. Small stuff too big stuff from the crack in the wall in my apartment to the love that surrounds my life. My senses are heightened; I feel life to the extreme. I wake up happy, wanting to find purpose in every day. I finding myself in tears most of my days, happy tears also sometimes sober blues tears. Lately the reason is fear based that I am working on, I know if I just stay sober life will open up but I’m also working towards dreams and I get fearful that I may fail but even those fears won’t stop me from working my butt off. Sober is the New Black.

So if there is anyone early in recovery that might be having a hard time, just remember you are also detoxing the mind and your feelings will be up and down, if you just push on those feelings they will level out and life gets clear. The wanting or cravings might not go away right away, but you become so strong that you can change your thoughts to positive ones. That will help you get through the cravings. Take those painful feelings and create art, make it meaningful. It will bring so much joy and peace. Sober is The new Black

 

I’ve been working on this short story the past couple days, it’s called A boy and his Bear. Hope you like it.

A boy and his bear

A boy and his bear

Here is a poem I wrote yesterday, go to Disneyland, camping, eat some smore’s. It’s never too late

childhood

childhood

Me at 8 months sober

Adolfo Vasquez

Adolfo Vasquez

This video is of Ira Glass so inspiring if there is anyone who is an artist struggling must watch

 

This song from Ellie Goulding your song is for anybody who is struggling with recovery, it’s so wonderful and beautiful that you are alive in this world, believe that and also feel that in your heart. I love you so much.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

Day 185 sober: First Article

Hello, Friends today is 185 sober. Today has been a great day so far, getting a new haircut. I’ll post pictures later. Heading out to Bakersfield CA for thanksgiving. Going to be around some of my favorite people. Taking 7 days off of work, to relax and write. This will be my first sober thanksgiving in a long time, how grateful to be alive and clear minded allowing me to experience life with loved ones.

I wrote an article for http://www.FloridaBeachRehab.com. Very grateful for the opportunity, to share my story, hoping it helps someone who is suffering or is questioning sobriety. The article is about how I started Sober is the New Black and how my poems help heal my soul. Sobriety for me isn’t just sober from booze, sober from past, sober from hurt, sober from one’s ego, sober from anything that is preventing me from reaching my full potential. Hope you guys enjoy the article. The link will be below. Sober is the new black. Hope you all enjoy a very great Thanksgiving.

 

http://www.floridabeachrehab.com/sobriety-through-poetry/.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

 

Dr. Maya Angelou is someone I turned to for wisdom. This video helps with creating kindness inside me.

DAY 141 Sober: A Sober Brunch

Hello friends, today is day 141 sober. It has been a really good day. I am at a hotel café in Korea town it has a really good brunch. The hotel has its own green house so everything healthy and fresh. I am in love with this place. There is nothing like it in LA. I’m so grateful for this sober mind. There has been know craving that old life and ways. Work has been a bit stressful but I managing my stress well. Leaving it behind and trying to find solutions for the issue. I work around 60 hours a week and weekends off. Today I have to work from home a bit but I am grateful for this job that allows me to have this amazing brunch.

 My mind is getting healthy; I think its time for my body to also follow that path. It’s a bit hard because I love snack foods but I want my mind, body and soul all align. Even with working 60 hrs a week, I still write every day. It’s my healing tool, letting it all out. It is necessary for my growth. I write everywhere on buses and trains. Even at work ill sneak in a write. Most of my Poem’s are written on my IPhone notes. They usually start with an idea or a word I write down than elaborate. Some come effortlessly and written in one shot and others may take a bit more work. All is from a sober mind.

 All I want to do is write. I know for the rest of my life ill be writing my life away whether its in books, movies, film, poems or journalism my writing is my purpose and it will guide me to a fulfilled life but all of it is only possible with sobriety and higher power that lives inside me at all times. Sober is the New Black.

 

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Stay Connect with Love, Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 111 Sober: “Awoke” Poem

This Poem I wrote is about the beginning stages of getting sober, I was Fighting the fact that i was an addict, but than my mind Awoke to a different way of thinking. So proud to be sober 111 days. hope you guys enjoy. Sober is the New Black. Sober now because I have deep love for myself.

 

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Stay connect with love,  Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 109 Sober: Oh hello, Roller coaster of Emotions

Hello Friends today is day 109 sober, it’s been a really good day. I did have a Rollercoaster of emotion the other day. Day 106 sober. My post was more a feeling rant. What I am noticing is I am learning how to feel life again and deal with the emotions that come with sobriety. I hope I did not worry anyone, nothing will take away my sobriety. Its number one and the rest will follow. The last few days, I had to accept the universe decision, I know there is a bigger picture my round eyes probably cant see at the moment but I know The universe has something huge in store for me. I just have to stay focus and embrace life, how I am suppose to. Sobriety doesn’t solve all my worries it just gives me a clear mind so I can make a decision and heal. I am going to have ups and downs and probably feel hurt again but what’s amazing is I am not wanting to drink. I am so proud that I can become sad to that extent I was that night and not want to use.

 

Getting sober, break up. losing everything is really hard but possible to overcome and what’s even more crazier is you can go from that too writing a book and that my friends just shows you the power of sobriety. People in recovery are the strongest people I have ever met. Dealing with addiction and trying to be a better person everyday takes endless amounts of courage . Some People who are non addicts don’t try and be the best them everyday. Also the loved ones who stick by the addict are also the strongest people I know because my loved ones were fighting my addiction and dealing before I deiced to fight myself and continue to love me and support me. That’s why they are my hero’s. Vince mother, Vince, my stepmother, Vince friends and family, my friends, my family. They were fighting before me and it feels good to know their pain was not in vain. So grateful for them and their love. there are no words.

 

Side note: I learned when I like someone I forget how to speak in normal talk I Stutter and get so nervous

 

I have five days off coming up and I want to do a mini trip somewhere and also write, write, write. It really helps me clear my mind and stay focus. My goal is to have my first draft complete by Monday and hopefully soon you guys can be reading my book. Today I am grateful for love, friends, work, and writing and for pain that makes me stronger and the fact that I am felling pain means I am alive and that is a blessing in itself. Sober is the New Black

 

Stay Connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

 

Vance joy besides being hot and a great singer, is a brilliant artist Riptide is perfection

 

DAY 86 Sober: Sober Fun

Day 86 sober, Hello friends today has been a successful day planning some exciting stuff on the horizon. Today work was slow, it seemed all I did was eat. I really need to change my eating habits, I’ve lost over ten pounds since I stop drinking but I am eating tons of sugar and other junk foods. This is my intake so far today, king size Kit Kat, two slices of pizza, Fritos, diet coke, hot Cheetos, three cups of coffee, a donut…Blah when I write it down its kind of Embarrassing but I can change it.

 

I am getting close to my 90 days sober. I am very excited. I don’t have anything plan for the big day. I do work at my upcoming job but after that I might go write. 90 days without a thought of wanting to use, is a big deal. I already pass the count of my last relapse so that’s a huge deal but I have not craved any booze and I have been around it. It makes me feel gross to even think about it. My mind back then didn’t understand addiction and Alcoholism. Life is to fun to waste being drunk. I used to think there was know way I can have fun without a drink but I was so wrong because the fun I am having now is real, I can dance, ride bikes, go out to a club, have a great dinner party, game nights, concerts, BBQ and the beach. I am not missing out on anything. what is awesome,  I’ll be in the moment sober so Ill have more hours of fun because I do not pass out and I remember everything, in control of the outcome, that’s a beautiful thing. I know longer have to wake up with guilt, people hating me, hating myself, no shame, no I am sorry. If I had a penny for every sorry I spoke, I probably could buy a LA home cash. I am also becoming the real me so I am finding out I enjoy doing things I never did like playing sports.

 

I wake up now grateful, exited to see what the day brings and madly in love with myself. I don’t worry about others opinions or judgments because I know me. I Love meeting new people, getting to know their story. I want to learn constantly, from love to addiction to sex to food to poetry. I want to constantly be working to be whole, smart, and loving. In life I just want to be happy and have fun, life is to short to be unhappy. I found purpose in sobriety, there is a bigger picture. Addiction was put in my life for a reason, on my way to figuring it out, maybe it was to break this family cycle. The universe knew I was strong enough to do so. It ends with me or maybe to help others who struggle. Sober is the New Black. I am grateful for life, my awesome hat, Coffee, connections, and for the reader.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

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OneRepublic Good life, Yes it is going to be a good life from now on, just have to stay sober.