DAY 124 Sober: The One For me

Hello friends today are day 124 sober. I am in a Korea-town, LA. My favorite place to write. It’s has some amazing café’s and it feels like home. Yesterday was four months sober and I did not realize it until it was already late into the night. Days fly by and I am very grateful.

 

I started this blog with the intent to write my feelings on a day-to-day basis so I can see my growth in sobriety and not really having a vision on where it was going, it grew into poems and a book. Sober for me is the only way I can create love and art. I know with every cell in my body I will never drink again. I also want people to know you can be a recovery addict and still have a great life without that coping poison. Not only a great life but also dreams are so real and a sober mind will get you to there. I also think in society there is a stigma that people think because you are sober you can’t have fun or be around others who drink and for me that’s not the case. also i want kids to know you don’t have to get wasted on the weekends, go create art.  I Want people to see me as a person first, a human that was sick but now in recovery remission. Those people who are suffering are not bad people they are amazing souls that have dreams but are sick. No person decides to become an addict or as a child saying that’s what they want to be when they grow up. I am so grateful that I found me and found my inner divine. Life is to short and amazing to not heal myself. I know great things are on the horizon. My road before recovery was hard but I made it and I am not dead. Like any normal human we all have hard days and that’s ok we are allowed to but with a strong awareness we can get through anything in life.

 

My name Adolfo and I have a disease that is in remission but if you see past that. I am also a writer, a food lover, I love film, tattoos, music, I love bowling and tennis. I want to be the best person everyday. My laugh is a bit dorky, I am clueless about most stuff, I never had a s’more until recently, I have amazing aunts, brothers and stepmother. I am Mexican and German and I don’t speak either. I hate morning hikes but will do it and complain most of the time but be happy at the end. I want to love and be in love, I have dreams of silver screens. There is this whole other side that is worth knowing. If you like to. An addict is not the disease, just like someone isn’t his or her diabetes. The symptoms of the disease are different but its still a disease. Some people have hard days with diabetes but overcome it.

 

I know I have hurt friends, family and ex but I cannot change those things. I can only help heal their hearts the best I can. They have been there when I had fallen; the least I can do is help in anyway to help heal them. With some old friends I just need a chance, just once chance to show them how amazing this new me is. I can help them through those uneasy feelings by showing them with my actions but I need a chance to and if not, that’s ok. Nothing can take away my sobriety.

 

 

No matter where life takes me, there is someone who will always have a corner of my heart. Sober is the New Black.

 

 

photo-13

 

 

Sober is the New Black

Stay connect with love. Adolfo Vasquez 

 

Wild Child “Pillow talk”  Enuff said. 

DAY 34 Sober: Pushing Through

Hello Friends today is day 34 sober and so far it’s been an amazing day. So I started my list of childhood traumas but it ended up being a more like a bio. I did not realize how much feelings would resurface. I got this extreme hurt and anger so I had to stop for the day, going to push through and continue later on. My goal in writing down my childhood is not trying to understand my parents or rationalize my parents behavior, my purpose is to go back and try to comfort that 3year old and to let him know its ok to let go and to move on. I am not trying to see my childhood from the perspective of my parents or brothers. I am just writing down how I felt at that moment and what I Experience. It might be a hard read for people and especially for my family but I need to be broken open to let it all out than to heal. After I am done I will meditate to find healing and peace. I know there is no rush but I’ve been with this hurt and anger for the past 28 years and I do not want to wasted any more time with it! I lived my whole childhood in fear with good reason but there is no need for me to live in fear now. I will post it when its finish. 

 

This weekend is going to be an amazing one. My stepmother who also happens to be my best friend is coming out with my brother. We always have a blast and she is the person that knows everything about me and I can confide in.  Food, Shopping and great conversations is what we have planned.  We even got matching tattoos. There have been a few people in my life that’s been with me on my journey the whole time, my stepmother is one of them we are close in age and we have some much in common from music to the way we think, and are humor. I eventually would love to have the same relationship with my real father and mother but ok if it doesn’t happen. After all I’ve been through I still have deep love for them. 

 

So tonight will be a rare social night for me. Some friends and I will be renting a room for karaoke. I used to hate karaoke because it would be at a bar in front of a bunch of people. In Koreatown you can rent rooms with some friends and sing your heart out. It’s more personal and intimate. Today I am grateful for 34 days of clear mindedness and the courage to change. I know it gets easier all I have to do is not drink. 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo