Tag Archives: Sober is the new black
DAY 45 Sober: Happy Birthday Lupie!
Hello Friends today is day 45 sober!!! Today is such a beautiful day, my best friend, mother of my brothers, Stepmother, concert and tattoo buddy BIRTHDAY! She has been in my life since I was a toddler. She left my father years ago because she wanted a better life for my two brothers and herself. She has been by my side at every moment of my life, even from a far. She loves me with an open hand allowing me to make mistakes and Evolve. She gives great advice, and listens. She came into my life when she was only fifteen; my father was a very difficult man at times so whenever my father would go crazy she would be my refugee. When my birth mother did not want my brother and I or was in jail, or homeless. She raised us. At the time my father was also in his Addiction. I cant not imagine raising four kids, two not her own and living with an addict who was not nice at all. It’s been amazing seeing her grow and evolve.
Everything she has in her life she has worked hard for and did on her own with no help including buying her own house. When I was in the midst of the Addiction she gave really hard love, she refuse to pick me up from jail and refuse to support my addiction. She never really called me an addict but she would ask question to get me thinking and let me figure out on my own. She loved me at my highs and more importantly she loved me when I’ve been down. Sometimes love can be tough it isn’t always joy and butterflies its also can be a bit hard, painful, and not always pretty. It might not even feel like love at the time but usually that kind of love is needed. Everyday she wakes up wanting to be and do better, that’s what I love about her. She has taken in people off the streets including my birth mom and has given her some great advice.
As I got older and sober I started see the world differently, yes I had profoundly misfortunate childhood but the universe put keys players in my life to help me become Adolfo, My stepmother is one of them. She is a great teacher in life, she has thought me courage to fight for what I believe in, to love above all, to never give up, to always see the positive in everything, don’t waste energy on people who are committed to not understanding you, to dream big and take action. She is my backbone; She is my rock, my mother and Father, confidant, Tattoo and concert buddy, my spiritual teacher!
Love you so much! Words can’t say enough! I may not be with you today, but I will in spirit! Sober is the New Black
Stay Connect with love, Adolfo
DAY 44 Sober: My New Relationship
Hello friends today is Day 44 sober, I had an Amazing weekend. I am so grateful for everybody reading Sober is the New Black. I am so exhausted but its worth it! I just woke up from a nap and I am in need of few more hours of sleep! I am sitting near downtown LA, having a cup of coffee! My childhood friend Nikka came out to LA for her BDAY. We had a much needed ladies weekend that consisted of great talks, beach, laughter, hiking, great food, dancing and in her words a turnt up weekend. Started at the beach and ended at a nightclub. This was my first time at a club since I got sober, anyone that knows me knows I love to dance so I knew Bars probably would end unless they served food but Clubs wont end. I did not have cravings at all. Nikka was very respectful and did not make me feel uncomfortable. I dance for a few hrs. And had some water. It was a great work out. It had some cute boys but I was just focus on Nikka and dancing away.
I’ve been single for a while, last night I realized I might be lonely but my body is a gift and I will not just give it away to just some drunk at the club. Now that I am getting older I need to start respecting my body more. So the next person I sleep with will be with someone serious. With that said I am a human so what I am allowing myself is cuddles, some social fun and a great make out session but that’s it. I can’t have any distraction in the beginning of my sobriety. Since I am newly sober and going through a breakup my Alcohol-ISM (Inside self &Mind) is coming out with negative thoughts pertaining to my old life and EX. So I’ve been praying and asking my Higher Power to take away those negative thoughts. I have to remind myself I am single at times because the thought of being with some else brings out a bit of guilt for thinking of another man, I guess I still have feelings for my EX but the feelings are fading and I am falling out of love by the second.
When I was single in the past I would be at bars drunk and hooking up but now I am sober and older those things do not seem sexy. That’s not the type of guy I need in my life. I do wonder if my next partner needs to be sober? Do two recovering Addicts work well together? I know my EX was a gift from the universe to open up my eyes to myself. I need to beat this disorder and be a pioneer in my future. I do not want my past relationship and my EX effort to be in Vain. I will be ready to do it right this time around. Above all Sobriety is number one in my relationship… my Ideal relationship will consist of
Knowing what my partner needs to feel loved — even if those needs are different than mine.
We fight productively.
Confidence boosts from are mutual physical attraction.
We have separate identities, but you face the world as one.
Communicate without speaking
We are Comfortable around each other since day one.
Challenges each other like no one else can
Comfortable getting a little adventurous between the sheets.
We bring each other a sense of inner calm.
Willing to put the “we” before the “me.”
We connect with each other friends and family
And Acceptance
Stay Connect with Love, Adolfo
DAY 43 Sober: Sober Night Out
Hello friends today is day 43 Sober and its been an amazing day so far! Sober weekends are pretty amazing, no hangover, no regrets, no crazy nights, remembering the night before and making amazing memories!v We just got back from Long beach, ca. The beach was pretty awesome, its was a dog beach. Dogs are so cute and full of pure love, I have such a connection with dogs. The weather was perfect. Tonight I will be dancing away with my childhood friend for her Birthday. She is so fun and loves to dance! I love to dance. So tonight West Hollywood it is. This will be the first time ill be going out Sober. I am single and in need of some fun! Maybe ill find a cute boy to dance with. Today I asked my higher power to guided me Throughout the day, I know my higher power and the universe is on my side, I just have to stay sober and focus!
I am grateful for my friends, love, Sobriety and for Sober is the New Black.
Stay Connect with love, Adolfo
DAY 42 Sober: Happy 4th
Hello friends, today is day 42 Sober. Hope everybody enjoyed his or her 4th of July. This morning I woke up in a bit of a funk not really Feeling like celebrating. Since I’ve been sober I’ve been having some dreams of my old life and when I do I always wake up in a bit a funk. The dreams are not about me drinking. It focuses on my ex and my old friends. This dream was about my EX celebrating the 4th with his new love and my old friends, someone stealing my old life from me. When we broke up, I was the bad guy and so everybody left, I understand they were his friends first so of course they took themselves out of my life, I expected that but every time I dream those dreams I wake up with deep loneliness and kind of numb. So I prayed really hard in the shower and asked my Higher power to get me through the day and once I got out, I was ready to celebrate the 4th! Some friends and I had a BBQ at a park; it was peaceful, filled with laughter, water gun fights, great food and love! It reminded me how amazing my new normal is and I cant be a prisoner of my past but the pioneer of my future.
Also my blog has been getting A lot of amazing support which I am so grateful for. kind people who are reaching out and sending their well wishes. Since my blog is public their also some other people who are also in recovery that are not feeling it. Which is ok I don’t expect everybody to understand my journey into sobriety. This blog is from a guy who is just 42 days sober, so the point is to Evolve, grow and document my story and struggle. So I know I don’t have all the answers and don’t want to. I just want to be whole and heal. Maybe this blog might help newbies and maybe it might remind winners what it’s like to just be 42 days sober. I spoke to this amazing lady last night, who I believe is such an inspirational winner and she reminded me I have to take advice that works for me and leave the rest. This blog is very therapeutic and I had to refocus and not give those people any energy. This blog I believe is a gift form the Universe and I know there is a bigger picture. I have to stay focus on staying sober that’s it.
Today I am grateful for being Sober, My Higher Power, for all the love that surrounds me, for AA and The BIG BOOK.
Stay Connect with love, Adolfo
as 
DAY 41 Sober: Oprah Winfrey “Surrender”
Hello Friends today is day 41 Sober and it has been such an amazing day. I am sitting in a coffee shop in Koreatown, Ca. This place has been a safe place for me. Sober is the New Black has been such a form of therapy for me and I am so grateful for it. Yesterday post on Oprah Winfrey was part one; the second part is about Surrendering. I saw this a while back and at the time I was struggling with surrendering but Oprah Winfrey has thought me how too. Surrendering brings so much peace. Surrendering is a big part of me getting sober. The last few attempts at trying to stay sober was not successful because I thought I can do it on my own by not drinking. I did not understand the process of surrendering to a higher power! Once you Surrender to a higher power that you understand it to be in your life. Infinite Possibilities are waiting for you!
Hope this video helps anyone who is struggling with surrendering in any aspect in their life whether it be Loss, Addiction,or from past.
Stay Connect with love, Adolfo
DAY 41 Sober: HAPPINESS
Hello Friends, today is day 41 sober and “Sober is the New Black” has been such an amazing gift. Sobriety has brought me so much peace, a happy mindset and self-awareness. Once I accepted the fact that I am an Addict and understood what role it has played in my life at that time. Sobriety also thought me a lot about my own happiness.
Happiness is something that is created within you. We all have the tools inside ourselves. I see Happiness like A lantern in me; I have the fuel inside and my Positive thoughts, which is my match. Since happiness comes from within no one can take it away, events in your life may cause the light to dim or even go out but we can relight that match again with are positive thoughts. There is such thing as external happiness but this is a temporary feeling that goes away. I used to think External Happiness was the only kind and I was always searching for it in people, jobs, what I buy, competition with others, my scale, and how I look. When you only look for External happiness you are never fulfilled and always searching for the next bigger and better thing once you achieve whatever it is you were looking for. You become a Slave to external things but once I started to become Self-aware I try and only focus on the Inner happiness. It’s a joyful feeling that flows from me out into the universe with smiles, kindness and love. Happiness isn’t about you receiving because you can’t receive what you already have. Happiness is a state of being and once you are truly their life is bliss. I see people and the world differently now. The only way I can continue this state of bliss is doing the work and staying Sober not just from Booze but from Past and ego
I still can appreciate external things but only with internal happiness can I live in a state of bliss and gratefulness, even during break ups, losing something important, gaining weight, getting old etc. My inner happiness is still burning bright. It might go dim or out but I just re light my lantern with my positive thoughts.
I am extremely grateful for this moment right now! To be sober, to be Adolfo and to see the love shining all around me, coming from within!
I love Pharrell “ Happy” Hope you enjoy this video!
Stay connect with love, Adolfo
DAY 40 Sober: A Sponsor
Hello friends today is day 40 Sober, in the past I have reach this point before I was in place of not fully accepting the fact that I am an addict. I would admit to some people but there is a huge difference between admitting and accepting. Admitting is just a word to me, I need to accept it with every cell in my body and believe I am an addict. Connect it to the role it plays in my life today, I think for me being an addict is ok. I want my Addiction to become a blessing so I can help others. I want to grow and learn with other addicts. My higher power probably knew I was strong enough to break the family disorder so it blessed me with it and maybe to help others. Addiction really has brought me closer to myself and today I feel really good, good enough to start finding a sponsor. I know it’s not an “I” program it’s a “WE” program. I never had a sponsor before and I know it’s a fear base and fear is something I am working through. Not the fear of the work its fear of the sponsor. My sobriety is the most important thing right now next to my higher power. I’ve been in and out of AA since I was 23 and I seen some really dry and mean sponsors that scared me. With that said I believe that the universe will bring me whatever I need and sometimes what I think I need is not what best for me and what I don’t want might be exactly what I need so I need to overcome that fear and not let the Alcohol-ISM (Inside Self & Mind) create a window even if it’s a small one for it to over take my mind.
What I’ve learned in the past 40 days is pain inevitable. Were human and not perfect nor meant to be. It’s how long we allow that window of suffering. Anger for me is easy to brush off but hurt for me goes a bit deeper. Some pain/hurt like a loved one passing is something I struggle with trying to understand. Is that pain/hurt supposed to go away? I know what creating a new normal is but you still carry that hurt with you. I am sure as life happens and I get older I might understand or maybe I am not meant to understand just let my higher power guide through those moments of grief.
Today I am so grateful for all the support. There has been a tremendous support from other Addicts that have warmed my heart and made me feel not so lonely. They have shared their stories, wisdom, and suggestions that have inspired me and brought me comfort. Their has also been people saying I inspire them and some people who have been sober for a long time say I have reminded them on what life use to be like in the early days of sobriety and that keeps them focus. Those things have brought me so much joy there is no words to explain it, it’s more of a feeling that flows through me. I am so grateful for you all and I have deep love for you all! Sober is the New Black!
Stay Connect with love, Adolfo
DAY 39 Sober FACE!
DAY 39 Sober
Drunk past
DAY 39 Sober: FEAR
Hello friends today is day 39 sober and it feels so great! Everyday I am feeling stronger and stronger. I never knew I had this kind of strength inside myself. Addiction is such a powerful disorder that hides in your mind so its hard to separate yourself from the Addiction but once you do you take away most of its power and you become so strong and self aware nothing can take it away. Fear is such powerful thing that has haunted me for the past 28 years; it was in stilled in me at a very young age by my parents. Before I new how to talk I knew fear. Fear, that was put inside me at a cellular level caused by the blood baths. There are 4 types of abuse physical, neglect, sexual, and physical. I experience all 4 all in different levels at different times. Starting around 3 years old into my early adulthood until I was able to fight back with my fist or run away. I will not get into my childhood quite yet but I will talk about the level of fear that crippled me and set up the foundation for Alcohol-ISM
My first fear was my parents than others came like the wind; if it were windy I would hide because I thought the wind would blow me away. When I was younger my fears were very simple like fear of wind, mountains, heights, even at a very young age I was fearful that nobody would accept me. I remember being in elementary school not having many friends because I would try so hard to be accepted I would be awkward. At a very young age I was also fearful of dying and getting sick. As I got into teen’s additional fears came about and they got more complex and I had a fear of choking so I did not eat for a couple years. I was forced and would not eat certain things. I would not chew gum; eat cheese, popcorn, etc. At the dinner table I would throw my dinner behind furniture when my parents would look away, put food into napkins than place it into my pockets than use the bathroom and flush it down the toilet. Of course my parent probably didn’t even notice or care. I probably needed therapy but was neglected from so much therapy was such a small thing in the whole picture. Fear of being evicted from are apartment caused from bouts of homelessness I experience at young age.
As I got older some of those young fears stayed and new ones entered like fear from my partner cheating, fear of trust. So at a young age I was thought, Fear, to Lie, steal, anger, distrust, Self hate, these are just some of the skill sets that created the my foundation. As I got older my fear turn into Anxiety, Intense insecurity, no skill sets, lack of ability to love others including myself etc. I found ALCOHOL to help with all the inner turmoil. It was a Band-Aid for a while it buried all that fear. So with Alcohol I was able to go out make friends, connect with others, feel free, laugh, love, dance, smile, listen to people, cry without others, have sex. That Band-Aid eventually broke and all that pain came out when I was drunk and it was not pretty what so ever. That invisible line was crossed and there was no turning back!
Acceptance, Forgiveness for others and self, living in a state of gratefulness, being kind to others, endurance, surrendering, learning how to love myself, crying, looking into people eyes and connecting with them all has help me, and connecting the dots from my childhood pain to how I treat people today and self. Has helped me in a tremendous way. Fear is in my core and roots so I am in the process of digging them out. The past 39 days have done wonders to my soul, I cry from joy and get chills from happiness, my mind is clear and my courage is at its peak! Ready to heal the 3-year boy who lived in terror for 28 years. Lets all be kind to one another and celebrate the beauty of diversity. Life is amazing to let are fears over take are mind and rob us from this amazing experience called life! Sober is the new black!
Leaving you with an amazing song from Eddie Vedder called rise up “Gonna rise up
Turning mistakes into gold”
Stay connect with love, Adolfo
Sober Is The New Black 