DAY 290 Sober: Las Vegas

Hello Friends, today is day 290 sober. I just got back to Palm Springs from Las Vegas, Nevada. The home of sins, neon lights booze and gambling. Traveling is one of the joys of my life, seeing new things with clean eyes. Beyond grateful that I am able to have wonderful opportunities that allow me to travel, Every time I’m in Palm Springs CA its hard to leave and say goodbye to loved ones. I find myself not missing LA, maybe its just me being in the moment and taking in each day as if was my last.

My stepmother/ best friend joined me on this trip. We are both huge “The killers” fans and the lead singer of the band coming out with his second solo album. The show was at a venue called “Bunkhouse”. The first time I seen “The killers” was 10 years ago in Vegas. My stepmother was the age I am now. It feels really amazing to be here in a better state of mind, I did gamble a bit won a hundred bucks. The last time I was in Las Vegas was six years ago. At the time I was still drinking and in a bad place mentally. No purpose and floating through life without really living it. Don’t remember much about that experience but I know it involved me binge drinking. As a child I disliked the atmosphere but as I got older I learned to fall in love with the sin city.

Unfortunately a couple of hours before the venue opened we all got the news Brandon Flowers had to cancel the show due to illness. I traveled a long way with lack of sleep. I was so excited only to not see him. I can’t control life but I can choose to be devastated, hurt and angry or I can see the sliver lining. How blessed I am to be able to afford wonderful trips with my stepmother. Yes I was not able to see Brandon flowers but I was able to create amazing memories see friends back home, eat great food, laughing all the way and a little debauchery in gambling. Sliver linings are beautiful it brings me back to my soul and a place of gratefulness.

I’ll be heading back to Los Angeles in a few hrs. Back to work Tomorrow. Sober is the New Black.

God Poem

 

vegas bus

 

 

wonderful unkowns

 

 

 

 

This video of Brandon Flowers is perfection “only the young”. Hope you enjoy

Day 49 Sober: Fridays with Oprah Winfrey

Hello friends coming to my end of 49 days sober. My previous Fridays used to consist of drunken blurs surrounded by others but now I find myself  alone often , soul searching, writing, reading, and trying to figure out my issues. Fridays are my peace days. The chaos that comes with the week comes to an end and I am now well rested, ready for the weekend. Fridays are my time to reflect on how I can improve my awareness of my Body and mental disorder called Alcoholism for the following week. Sober is the New Black has been a great tool . I learned that if I don’t get enough sleep I could become very unhappy at work! I really need to get sleep or learn how to coupe with not getting enough sleep. Learning how to coupe with tried-ness without the booze is a bit hard but I am glad I am aware enough to fix it. 

Fridays will now be my soul-searching days to guide me to a sober weekend ahead! Instill some courage, joy, and self-awareness is really fulfilling. The drunken blackouts, chaos, self abusive, not dealing with my issues, not dealing with feelings, hurting loved ones, vomiting my booze only to make room for more, eating nothing so I can get a quick buzz and not eating to stay drunk, waking up with body pain and mental pain only to do it all over again Saturday is not soul fulfilling anymore. I am starting to see the beauty in a quite night, I don’t want to sound like an introvert prude that doesn’t enjoy being around people but I need these Fridays to reflect so I can be a fun loving person dancing away with others in a night club. I do enjoy a great dance!

Sobriety is bringing me an understanding of what validation means in my life . I love hearing shares. To understand them without opinions or judgments. To really connect with their words and feelings. Show compassion and empathy without a single thought of deposition. I am not my brothers’ keeper; I am brother so when he suffers I suffer. I got a tattoo a couple years ago subconsciously not fully understanding the meaning but now I get it! Now I fully connect with it. Its in a shape of a heart and it reads “I am you, you are me we are one” For me I see it as we both are separate identities but when you take away all are individual beauty that’s make us all amazing, I feel we find a common thread that connects each other souls. I want to live in that space always!

 

Oprah shows on her own network have been such a help in giving me advice and tools to implement in my life, I know people have their on views on her but I enjoy adding spiritual stuff to my life also with my program, It works for me and keeps me sober! And staying sober has to be me my number love in my life. The rest will fellow!

 

Here is a video that helps me with understanding how to disconnect from my past story my mind tells me about in my present!

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo