1000 Days Sober

Hello Friends,

Today I’m 1000 days sober. I feel nothing but gratitude for the wisdom I’ve gained in my time sober. I know myself more than ever, “who I am” and “who I am not”.  I clearly see my innate gifts and what my issues are.  Since my mind is clear and sober i get to act on my innate gifts while working on my issues. Issues I find deep in my soul. There’s still a lot of learning ahead. Some lessons will be through pain and some will be easy. I just have to accept whatever the universe gives me. Know there is a reason why things happen. I might not be able to see the lesson right away so I just have to accept what is. The lesson might arrive later once the pain subsides. I can’t always know why everything happens, i just have to accept that it does. I can’t run or hide or bury what is, i have to fully embrace it and make the necessary changes. The universe is very powerful and has magic  my human eyes can’t always see. I just have to stay open for the lesson.

I’ve been working on my first novel that has turned into a three book series. I use to think it had to be done right away or within a years but I can’t rush this process, I just have to let it come alive. All three books are basically done and the editors are ready but I am still making some small adjustments. There’s only been one person to read through all three books. This person is an avid reader, who usually finishes two books in one week. They loved the series so that was huge relief and a boost in my confidence. Right now I am in a stage called “The Middle” that’s in between the realization of the goal or dream and the achievement. I am finding “The Middle” to be the most important part because it defines the destination. The middle has also been the most fun because it’s where I am most creative. The middle might is where i spend most of my time, so I have to enjoy it. I have to allow space, failures, growth and change to happen. The middle part is where I see what needs to be change, what work needs to be done, and it allows me to put in a plan of action. In this stage I have to be kind to myself and enjoy the ride, dream big, and put in the work. I’ve been writing six hours a day for the past two years. The middle part has taken time but it’s necessary. My persistence overpowers my failures. Failures are necessary and rejection is inevitable, but it’s not the end destination.


I don’t have all the answers on how to stay sober or be successful in life, all I can do is work towards my goals and dreams. All I can do is live one day at a time and try to be present in each day. I know that my ego is the creator of all misery. If I’m upset or angry somewhere in that pain is ego. I know I will always have Alcoholism, Alcohol-Inside Self and Mind. I know my disease centers in my mind that creates the body craving. That’s why I have to always be aware of the mind voice, but it has gotten very quite since I’ve been sober. As of now, my true self seems to be stronger than my disease but I know it wont always be this way. There will be extreme pain ahead, people will die in my life but my recovery program is my safety net. My second year sober has been pretty effortless but there have been some life challenges. I now face life challenges head on and embrace those uncomfortable feelings instead reaching for a drink. Feeling life is very important in recovery, feeling everything and not burying it. So I cry when I need to or laugh when I want to. My feelings now live on my skin and not underneath whiskey poison. Burying my feelings will create an infection that creates holes in my soul. When holes in the soul are created we try to fill them with outside false happiness like shopping or food or sex but the goal is the not let the holes get there in the first place. So I can’t bury my feelings I have to embrace my feelings. The more challenges I face in life, the more wisdom and strength I will gain. If life becomes too hard, drinking is off the table, I can write or do something that can calm my soul. I’ve only had one craving for that whiskey poison and that was in my first months sober, cravings have seemed to vanish. I make sure to stay grateful for my sobriety, if i wasn’t sober than i would have nothing. My home, my partner, my family or friends. Human connection is the most important thing in my life.

The longer I am sober, the more I forget that I was once an addict. Since being sober I have created so many amazing memories, it seems like the new great memories are erasing the old past pain. The past is the past, it’s not my current moment. I can’t use my infected past guide my day or I can’t react to the present with the past. Now that I am sober, I have a clear slate to create anything I want.  The past doesn’t play over and over in my head, I no longer feel that deep shame of my past addiction. We are not our addiction symptoms, not the past pain, the shame or guilt of hurting loved ones. We are the courage and strength it took to change, that’s our True self.  There has been a lot of happy memories made in my 1000 days sober and I focus on those. I no longer wake up to blackout crimes or wake up with hangovers, now I wake up to goals and dreams. I’ve been working on achieve those. If we can overcome addiction, just imagine what else we can accomplish. If we took that hard work  and dedication we put into our recovery program and apply that into a relationship or career we would see success in those areas.  Meeting small goals in life will build confidence and small goals lead to big goals or life changing goals. Small goals are very important and should be celebrated, like making a month sober, how incredible is that. The courage it took just to get sober for a month, go for another month. Months add up and eventually you will be a year sober, and years add up too.

The people I lost due to my addiction are back in my life, but my relationships are better than before. I feel a deep connection to the people in my life, it’s as if my compassion and empathy for other humans have grown. I love bigger and unconditional but not just other i have deep love for myself. I feel like i am own greatest fan and best friend. I treat my body, mind and soul with deep respect. Our body is the only real home we have. I now understand what it means to be good to other humans and  enjoy human connection more than ever. Every single day I try to be as present as my mind allows. I trust others but more importantly I trust myself in taking charge of my life and making decisions.

Healing is not about becoming happier, or feeling bliss all the time. Healing is more of letting go of everything that isn’t my true self. Letting go of child abuse, letting go of my traumas, letting go of the addiction, letting go everything that is preventing my full potential and only than am I healing, and left with my true self.

Below is some New Poetry  since my last blog post.
















Stay Connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 317 Sober: Holes in ones soul

Hello friends, today is day 317 sober. In 10 months sobriety I have felt more inspired in my life than I have ever been. Even more inspired than when I first get sober. I realize my disorder centers in my mind that leads into the body. The roots are in mind and body in the form of thoughts, Emotions, the way I see the world. Once the roots are pulled out than I am left with holes in my mind and soul. I have to now create positive thoughts and feelings towards myself. When I first got sober and pulled those roots out the body cravings left right away. Cravings will come but less and less. They will not be stronger than my truth.


I also believe every time someone goes through some traumatic experience it creates holes in their soul, if it doesn’t heal than those holes stay. In the past I would fill those holes up with booze, clothes, substance, sex, anything to make me feel whole and happy. Those things of instant-gratifications, those fillers don’t last long they are a false happy. At the time they made me feel happy, whole and warm but soon faded still leaving the holes so the appetites grow. The Holes are not supposed to be filled only healed. I had to stop filling those wholes up with outside stuff and start to heal inside. I do believe people become whole in points of their lives but someone will pass close or a traumatic experience will happen again creating holes but this time I can heal properly with letting go, my higher power, learning from the lesson and acceptance.

Some traumas I experience might take longer to heal and some might even take years with waterfalls of tears but I have to grieve not numb. Understand and live in the bigger picture of life and not stay in small circumstances that happen in ones life. Sober is the New Black

The past few days I’ve been in a writing mood, staying up into the early mornings of the day. Here are some of my poems that I hope inspire others



The first poem is when I am having what seems like a bad day, its my job to find the good.

each day



Changes always start with thoughts. Changing the way I think to positive ones makes it easier to overcome everything


We all have thoughts in the mind that is not who we are. They are from past traumas that feed use lies preventing us from reaching our full potential. EGO



We all have been to places, not so great places. Places we want to never go again. These are some of i speak of

i know places

Feeling sad can be used as fuel for change turning it into a blessing. Its a great opportunity



Sometimes I have remind myself that I am not living in yesterdays mistakes or tomorrows worries, bringing back to now in peace



Whenever you are feeling a bit down, the only thing that can help is going inside finding that higher power that’s in us all.

natural high


I always write with emotions and my truth. I had a not so great childhood like millions of others. This one was a bit hard to write but necessary to get out what i needed at the time. I had all forms of child abuse and it’s about healing old wounds that become holes becoming whole. connecting dots from childhood too addiction. I am not my past, I am who I choose today.

holes in soul



Sia is one of my favorite artist. She suffered from addiction in the past and her last album 1000 forms of fear is so inspiring. The is her latest music video featuring another amazing artist in name Maddie Ziegler. Hope you enjoy big girls cry



Stay connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 24 Sober: Is Good or Bad Real?

Hello friends its day 24 sober and I am back to the grind. I had such an amazing time back home, lots of food, love and great talks. My stepmother, aunt and myself stayed up late one night and had a necessary talk, I needed some clarity in the love part of my life and it came.  I heard exactly what I needed to move on, it will not be  easy but it will get easier and today was easier than yesterday. My family has been so supportive when it comes to my sobriety. I did not get any cravings for booze but there is a Mexican drink that’s called michelada or chavela that is really good. Its not really the beer that craved it was all the spices and tomato juice they put in. Not sure if they can make a virgin one but that has been the only craving but it passed with time. I’ve read that Alcoholism well the ISM can show up in different areas in your life, people can switch addictions to smoking, coffee and sex. So I have to watch my mind because I am very capable of all three. 


My Stepmother and aunts are very open-minded; self aware and positive mind watchers. We had a few discussions on if there is such thing as good and bad in life. Sometimes what we think is good for us is actually bad and sometimes what we think is bad for us is a great lesson.  I’m starting to believe the universe knows exactly what you need in your life so it gives you experiences not good nor bad just experiences so you can reach your full potential For example keying someone car wasn’t a bad thing because it thought me so much about myself and it brought me self awareness with my issues.  A week after that incident my car was keyed so I do believe in Karma whatever energy you put out you will get of good nor bad.   The universe already knows what I need for me to reach my full potential I just have to see the signs and be aware be in tune with what the



What if a lady is being abuse by her husband and one day she leaves then because going through all that she opens up this shelter that saves 1000 of woman from there abuser? So was going through that relationship a really bad or was it suppose to happen so she can save 1000 of lives. This are just thoughts in my head, just trying to figure out. Another example is two sisters living with an alcoholic mother who beats them both. One grows up to become successful doctor and one becomes a horrible addict. And if you asked them “ what shaped your life into what it is today?” and they answer their mother. So was growing up with their mother a good thing or bad thing?

 Is it how we see the world; with are mind?  that there is no bad nor good just how we see the situation? I leave it at that.

I am grateful for being sober and for all of you! Thank you so much

Stay connect with love, Adolfo



DAY 17 Sober: Cleaning house

Hello friends, just finish dinner. Today was a great day so far. I had a 3hour nap felt really good but I woke up in a bit of a bad mood. I usually wake up in a good mood, maybe there is a lot of stuff on my mind and once I am awake tons of thoughts are waiting to greet me. I need to clear my mind a bit.  Part of my healing is stop doing stuff I dislike doing.  So I am leaving my second job it caused a lot of stress and took a lot of energy out of me. So my last day is today and the boss just text me tons of stuff to do before I leave. I don’t want to leave the company in a bind so I will but that’s the last thing you want to see after a beautiful nap! OK no more complaining for me, if I feel the need to, I will only for moments. I have to remind myself life is so short and even a few moments of complaining is such a waste and can be focus on my amazing progress!


There is a lot of things I am going to cut out of my life, Including certain hangout spots like beer belly and franks, no need to put myself in the past!! Only looking to the future Also wine glass are out the door alongside my hat that reads BEER, which was my favorite but BEER is no longer part of my life. Certain people have to be flushed from my new amazing life, still love them but need to love me above all.  I need to create a clear sphere that I stay in at all times that nothing negative can penetrate form the world and keep love, joy, gratefulness, mindful thoughts, and sober flowing in and out into the universe. The more I am sober I realize addiction was placed in my life for a reason, maybe because the universe new I was strong enough to end this family disorder! I am David and alcoholism is the goliath. I know this battle has just begun but I know I will never stop fighting.  Addiction is in my life for reason I truly believe that maybe it’s a blessing of some sort that I am unaware of it at the moment. When you are in the battle you don’t see the long term rewards but I know the rewards are so huge my small tiny eyes cant see it at the moment and its so delicate only dogs and cats can hear it! I will one day!

 I want to end with if there is anyone out there who reads this who is suffering I stand with you. You are an amazing soul that has so much potential lets find Ares together and make Sober the new Black



Stay connect with love, Adolfo