Sober is the New Black
Stay Connect with Love, Adolfo Vasquez
Hello Friends today is day 126 sober, I am excited for the weekend! I’ve been working and writing. This weekend my goal is to get out from behind my mac and see with these sober eyes. Feeling so grateful for life and for this sober mind that has given me so much life and potential. This poem below explains how i feel inside at the moment. everything in life inspires my writings, to addiction, to sex, love, heartbreaks, even men. Sober is the New Black.
Sober is the New Black
Stay Connect with love. Adolfo Vasquez
Hello friends today are day 124 sober. I am in a Korea-town, LA. My favorite place to write. It’s has some amazing café’s and it feels like home. Yesterday was four months sober and I did not realize it until it was already late into the night. Days fly by and I am very grateful.
I started this blog with the intent to write my feelings on a day-to-day basis so I can see my growth in sobriety and not really having a vision on where it was going, it grew into poems and a book. Sober for me is the only way I can create love and art. I know with every cell in my body I will never drink again. I also want people to know you can be a recovery addict and still have a great life without that coping poison. Not only a great life but also dreams are so real and a sober mind will get you to there. I also think in society there is a stigma that people think because you are sober you can’t have fun or be around others who drink and for me that’s not the case. also i want kids to know you don’t have to get wasted on the weekends, go create art. I Want people to see me as a person first, a human that was sick but now in recovery remission. Those people who are suffering are not bad people they are amazing souls that have dreams but are sick. No person decides to become an addict or as a child saying that’s what they want to be when they grow up. I am so grateful that I found me and found my inner divine. Life is to short and amazing to not heal myself. I know great things are on the horizon. My road before recovery was hard but I made it and I am not dead. Like any normal human we all have hard days and that’s ok we are allowed to but with a strong awareness we can get through anything in life.
My name Adolfo and I have a disease that is in remission but if you see past that. I am also a writer, a food lover, I love film, tattoos, music, I love bowling and tennis. I want to be the best person everyday. My laugh is a bit dorky, I am clueless about most stuff, I never had a s’more until recently, I have amazing aunts, brothers and stepmother. I am Mexican and German and I don’t speak either. I hate morning hikes but will do it and complain most of the time but be happy at the end. I want to love and be in love, I have dreams of silver screens. There is this whole other side that is worth knowing. If you like to. An addict is not the disease, just like someone isn’t his or her diabetes. The symptoms of the disease are different but its still a disease. Some people have hard days with diabetes but overcome it.
I know I have hurt friends, family and ex but I cannot change those things. I can only help heal their hearts the best I can. They have been there when I had fallen; the least I can do is help in anyway to help heal them. With some old friends I just need a chance, just once chance to show them how amazing this new me is. I can help them through those uneasy feelings by showing them with my actions but I need a chance to and if not, that’s ok. Nothing can take away my sobriety.
No matter where life takes me, there is someone who will always have a corner of my heart. Sober is the New Black.
Sober is the New Black
Stay connect with love. Adolfo Vasquez
Wild Child “Pillow talk” Enuff said.
Hello Friends, today is day 119 Sober. No cravings, its been a busy work week with some dog sitting. I have the next two days off which will be nice to relax and be back in the downtown la area. I am not a west side boy.
The mind of an addict is where the addiction centers. I have to watch every thought that comes into the round head of mine. I Tend to create stories in my head that than affect my heart. These stories are false stories that are not really happening. Usually its about someone trying to hurt me or do wrong to me. Which isn’t the case but my mind try’s to convince me. You can love me so deeply but I will create this lie in my head.
I know it stems from child abuse. I was constantly being hurt from my parents. Now that I found the root I can dig out the weed. I have to always watch my mind because weeds come back. Self-healing has to be constant in my life like the air I breathe. I need it in my life at all times so I can live. How do you find the root? Sit still and ask yourself questions or if you ever get mad or upset it’s usually a weed caused by past pain. For example if someone says something and I get offended. I go within and ask my self why was that a touchy subject. Not all weeds are easy to spot and might take years.
I am so grateful I can see some of my weeds but I am a desert full of painful weeds, pulling them out one day at a time. I am also planting huge tress of trust and love for myself. No need to fear if others are going to hurt me, I trust myself on letting them go if they do. I will protect myself. People will hurt me but it’s my choice to suffer. Also when I catch my mind making up stories, I have let it go and put me back it the moment. Whether its rubbing my fingers across the wall and focusing on the feeling or taking my shoes off and digging my toes in the sand and focus on the feeling. If might have to tell myself this is the moment not what’s in my head, it’s the feeling of sand on my feet. It will then go away.
Anger spreads like an infection. Wake up, stub a toe and get pissed. Walk out the door beep the horn at people, get the morning coffee be mean to a coffee shop boy than it makes him mad. it ruins his day, spreading like a virus. I have to be aware of how I treat people at all times. The mind weeds can’t overcome me. Becoming self-aware is the one of the biggest gifts sobriety has brought me. Sober is the new black.
Everyone should live their life by the words of this song by Jason Mraz Living in the moment. Addicts and non addicts
Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez
Hello Friends today is day 115 sober, I got back from my hometown of Palm Springs ca. My friend Lisa from Oklahoma came out, I have not seen her in over 4 years. It was nice reintroducing myself, a sober, calmer me but still similar. It seems like there was not enough time to catch up but I am glad we had the small time together. We danced the night away, I did not crave a drink one bit. I had a tonic and lime also a red bull. I love bars and clubs that give free soda or free non-alcoholic drinks to Designated Driver, It’s a wonderful idea and I hope more bars do the same. I got to see old friends. Hang with family and make new friends.
Dancing the night away sober filled with sweaty nights, great music, laughs and soda pop, and a late night fast food run after is a perfect night that shows it is possible to live a “sober is the new black” kind of life. This new normal is now the normal and I love it. I did not get to see everyone I would like to but I will after this work season is over. I wanted to get a tattoo but that would have to wait. Never enough time. What’s keeping me sober is getting control of the mind voice that is my disease and staying focus on self-healing.
My family is plagued with the curse of addiction my grandfather was an addict who passed away from booze. My father and mom both suffered from addiction I believe both have stopped but are not in a program of self healing so they are both filled with hurt, anger and making poor decisions, I feel they might still be using some other drug than meth maybe weed or booze not sure. I also have brothers that suffer from addiction. The longer I stay sober the deeper disgust I have for booze and drugs, it robbed my family from so much from potential. I Even sometimes finding myself wanting to break every bottle of booze in stores but I know its not the booze it’s the mind of the addict that allows us to lose are self.
This family curse will end with me so my kids and their kids will not be plagued with this family curse. I still have tons of work to do and learning how to heal the best way and its putting pen to paper this poem I wrote is for my mom. It’s a bit harsh but the pain she has caused is real and its written from that 3 year who had no voice, who was beaten black and blue with blood spills, no love, only fondled touches and anxiety ridden from drug fueled rage. All I had was nothing. Sober is the new black. Grateful for the reader, for love, for my healing writings, for life, for my strength, and my survivor skills.
Stay Connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez
This Poem I wrote is about the beginning stages of getting sober, I was Fighting the fact that i was an addict, but than my mind Awoke to a different way of thinking. So proud to be sober 111 days. hope you guys enjoy. Sober is the New Black. Sober now because I have deep love for myself.
Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez