DAY 73 Sober: Learning Something New Everyday

Hello friends, today is day 73 sober, I just woke up from an amazing nap, I could have slept more but I need to get up and write. Writing for me has been such a helpful healer. Also I also love the fact I can go back if I need to remind myself or reflect. Writing has force me to go deep and heal my inner self, and has cleared my mind. People have been reaching out from all over the world, people who are in recovery and people who have family members who are currently suffering. There a few that do not understand Sober is the New Black but I can’t waste energy on people who are committed to not understanding me. I am grateful for all the people who are sharing their stories. They are my teachers and I’m up for learning.  I am at a busy cafe near downtown LA. Yesterday I was here and a coffee shop boy saw me writing away, he walked over pulled up a chair and asked me what is it that I was writing. That never happens, I was shocked and coffee’d up so a bit nervous. I was working on my series of addiction poems. He wanted to read them; I love readers so I let him. I need to see the reader point of the poem and she if my point came across. He said they were dark I can see that. He also mentioned he seen me before ordering coffee and I should cheer up a bit. Which is surprising because I am usually smiling. I told him I was either tired or focus. He wasn’t bad on the eyes and we chatted the rest of the night. He actually works at the coffee shop. That Incident got me thinking; on how far into a meeting someone new do I let them know I am in recovery. Should it be the first thing I mention and should I prepare for ignorant questions, which is fine not everyone understands it. 

I want everybody to know the space I am in and they can choose if that’s ok with them but if not than oh well. I know I am only 73 days sober but I was wondering if it’s easier to date someone in recovery, do two addicts mix well. I also cant put to much thought into it, I have to let the universe do its job and I cant help who I fall for. That guy was really nice and made me laugh the whole time, which are pluses.  No digit’s, need to focus on myself. I wouldn’t mind a cuddle buddy. Companionship is something I miss about being with someone. Let them know how my day went. Today I found out I am a great basketball player. I want to start trying new things and a friend was playing so I decided why not, I have great shooting technique and made most of the 3 pointers. I am five four, gay, and inactive so finding that out was so empowering! I will continue to play basketball. I love workouts that don’t seem like workouts, tennis, Racquetball, and swimming. Now I can add Basketball. For A brief moment my father force me into little league, which was horrible experience. Sober is the New black. I am grateful for my friend the reader, for basketball and for that coffee shop boy who took time out his life to bring me a laugh.photo-7

 

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

 

Fleetwood Mac Landslide is amazing and just wanted to add it to this post. Love me some Stevie Nicks

DAY 63 Sober: A Sober Writer

Hello friends, today is end of Day 63 sober, No cravings for booze, only cravings were for sushi, writing and the Spa. I followed through with all three. I am currently lying in bed sitting with a clear mind. I am working on a Series of Poems all related to Addiction; they are 12 in the series. I kind of want to debut them in an Art show, so I have to look into that. Life has change in the past 63 days. Without that box wine, my creativity is just flowing. I am very grateful for it. I have not touch the fiction I’ve been working on for two years, part of me wants to just start over because I started writing that with a mind tainted with whiskey poison and infected thoughts. I feel my mind is a lot sharper, so maybe I’ll start a remix, keep both and see what’s better. My friend Joel thought me about remix writing. It when someone reads something you wrote and they give you a suggestion on what to change so you do but you always keep the original just incase. Smart idea. 

I have always loved writing in high school I was in English honors and college prep classes in English. Receiving Academic awards in English. Love to write and not so much reading. Reading is important and I force myself to read. It helps with writing. In school I would always quick read and still get an A. Same with drama, on my Drama final I would just improve my monologue. The writer and the reader are a duo,  a partner in a delicate dance. The writer takes the lead and the reader follows. I have to try and keep the reader glued and on the tips of their toes. I Always have a vision of were I want to take the reader but writing short scripts, fiction and poems are really different. I find scripts the hardest for me because I love details and in writing scripts I create the skeleton. The director is the one who creates the heart, flesh and organs of the film.

I never knew I had a passion and talent for writing until recently, when I was in middle school I wrote something and it got publish and I did well in high school but growing up with that childhood than my teen years ( which I am working on that long read) I just never believed someone who had my kind of past can become something great, I had so much pain I wanted to stay a victim so I can blame my parents and maybe I thought somehow my demise will sober them up.  I use to dream of me being in a casket while my family crying around me and I am laughing at them scream you did this! You did this! Twisted right! and maybe ill finally get that love, those hugs and kisses as I lay dead and lifeless. I was angry in high School, I was on my way than  my Junior year of high school I became homeless. Ill get into that on another post.

 I use to think, I need to drink to create art but I am realizing all the stuff I wrote was so empty and false bullshit. I am not creating from the divine of my soul, the Essence of my being, I was creating from a sad victim, Angry and most of the time I was so drunk it took me two days to write two lines, so than ill do two lines snow white and that will get me going. It never flowed and I would forget my ideas. I am grateful for Sober is the New Black, For my Readers, And for the Love I found in Sobriety.  

Stay Connect with love, Adolfo

After the spa

After the spa

 

 

 

 

 

 

DAY 52 SOBER: MAYA ANGELOU

Hello friends today is coming to an end of day 52 sober. Today has been such an amazing day. I have a great nap and I am feeling well rested. Maya Angelou is perfection to me, Her poems resonate with my soul. Every word, speaks to me. Its does not matter where you are from or the story you have lived, We are connected.  Her Inspiring words carry me through out my day among other influences. If i am ever feeling a bit blue or just need a pick me up for my soul, I RISE From Maya Angelou helps me go deep and find my inner smile, my inner tiger, my inner Adolfo. I am so grateful for her life and her words. Sober is the New Black has been such an amazing journey so far. I hope you guys enjoy this video below. Maya Angelou I rise.

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

DAY 47 Sober: “MY HIKE” WRITTEN BY ADOLFO VASQUEZ

My Hike

 

 Walking steady up my parents path cold and full of thorns.

Walked it my whole life full of misery and trauma.

 

Need a new path.

A different route.

 Push through bushes.

Stomping hard.

creating a new path.

Bushes made from infected past. 

 

Feeling pain and loneliness

from the infected bushes.

Must continue, must push through

hurt, pain and guilt.

Making a path for me.

Tears are flowing

I hold on tight.

No path in site

 

 

Bushes turn into a path.

My path.

Start to see the world from a different angle.

Start to see the world from a higher place.

Parent’s path no longer in site.

Air smells sweet.

  No misery.

      Pioneer to my new path.

        Lets plant some roses

           filled with courage, love and joy.

                                                

Created a new path for my kids.

See my kids pioneer their path.

    A different route.

BY

ADOLFO VASQUEZ

10471351_10152254942361295_5407512430172335323_n

STAY CONNECT WITH LOVE,  ADOLFO