Tag Archives: love

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November 9, 2014

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Day 169 Sober: Creating love for me

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Day 169 Sober: Creating love for me

Hello Friends, today is 169 days sober, So far it has been pretty peaceful, my plans today is to enjoy each moment and not let anything negative effect my emotions. Lately, I’ve been enjoying being by myself. Away from others and it might be because I spend most of my weekdays surrounded with others and I don’t get much time with myself. My shower is my safe place, where I go and pray and reflect on how I can be better than the day before. I am washing away yesterday worries. Kind of symbolic. I just started once I got sober, I meet with my inner light, and once I connect I feel a sense of peace and my body tingles. It helps me start my day.

 

 I also enjoy a sense of touch, I run my fingers over walls, or rub my toes in the dirt, so I can focus on the feeling bringing me back to the present away from mind haze. The more I do it the better I get at coming back to the present moment. I feel that sometimes you have to go back to heal so you can move forward but always come back to the moment in peace and understanding. I do notice everything seems brighter, I see life in everything from the wind carrying a bag to the bag itself. What keeps me sober is being connected with my inner light and being self-aware, constant evolving and staying in the moment. Accepting that I am the co-creator with the ultimate creator and embracing life plans.

 

What I need to work on is finding my purpose, writing yes but I think callings may change since I am always evolving and I might have many callings, I know eventually I would love to work with broken children so they can see their infinite Potential, as I was one of those kids.

In the past I only loved the way I knew how to, a broken kind of love it was still love, but showed in ways a person should not show love learned by seeing my parents. I did things a broken person did, but I was unaware of the broken mind caused by addiction and past hurts but I am aware now. Love is a feeling inside me I create for myself, which overflows into relationships. The most important thing is how I show my love. I am creating deep love for myself, letting it shine out. It’s constant work but, hopefully, it becomes effortless. Sober is the new black

Stay connect with love Adolfo Vasquez,

 

 

 

DAY 82 Sober Poem

Love this song Adia from Sarah Mclachlan,

 

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November 8, 2014

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DAY 168 Sober: Sober Miracle

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DAY 168 Sober: Sober Miracle

Hello Friends, today is 168 days sober, this week been a busy week, I worked 70hrs but glad this season will be over soon and ill have more time to write. My mind disorder called Alcoholism is healing, no cravings. This year I got sober and lost someone really important in my life. This has been the hardest but most rewarding year of my life. Some of the biggest mistakes that turn into life lesson happen this year. I realized all those things the addiction has done was my mental disorder that I was unaware of. I thought my addiction was me but once I separate the two, I was able to stop it dead in its track.

 

I will not hold myself prisoner from what my addiction has done; I am whom I choose to be now, in this moment. In order for me to grow I have to let go of the guilt of hurting loved ones, every day I feel less guilty. I can’t even relate to the old me so I can’t even explain what my old self did. I lost someone who was very instrumental in opening my eyes to the addiction. I lost him because I was unaware of my mental disorder. This is hard, but I am very strong and can get through it, I allow myself a good weep to cleanse myself. I know all I have to do is stay sober, I see sober miracles every day. I called them sober miracle like walking past old bars without feeling tempted, being around booze and not craving it. Feeling peace inside knowing my lips will never be on a beer bottle.

 

Change is very hard but freeing. I was born on 11.11 so in a few days I’ll be 29. I am now finding myself, forcing myself to heal old wounds. Forgiving everybody and everything still learning how to forgive me. I will never stop growing; I will continue to evolve, to inspire others and me. Right now, I am happy, feeling free and a bit sad but I am feeling life and not using and that is a sober miracle. Sober is the new black

 

 

DAY 84 SOBER POEM

 

Stay connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez

Some Paloma Faith to end my night.

 

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November 2, 2014

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DAY 162 Sober: A Molested Child

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DAY 162 Sober: A Molested Child

Hello Friends, Today is day 162 sober, I just want to start off by saying all the readers support and inspiring message, that fill my heart up with so much joy. I just hope I do the same for others who may be suffering in this battle. Part of getting sober is going inside and finding root causes of my addiction. The ones I hide inside deep, from the traumas I’ve been through. I have not really talked about this subject to anyone, none of my family knows about this. So I might have some backlash or maybe some support but the most important thing in my life is healing so I can stay sober.

 

 

I was Sexually abused at a very young age. It was a male babysitter who would watch me while my mother would go out and party, my mother is also an addict. For a  long time, I thought it was my doing or my curiosity that caused it. It happened more than once and I don’t remember much except that it felt good. I don’t know if I was seeking attention from the lack of it in my household or I might have seen people doing it in my household. Writing this down scares me a bit but I just need to connect the dots From being molested to addiction. I know being molested has everything to do with me seeking love in sex, or if someone is not attracted to me then that means there is something wrong with me.

 

 My writing helps me heal from the inside. Taking all the pain out and writing it down is the way I know how to heal, When I was a child I lived in my head away from reality because It was to painful. I would daydream a new life so I can survivor another day. I don’t want to be a victim anymore, I need to take ownership of how my life is today and know that I am no longer that child being touch for love but a survivor that is blossoming into a softer person. I lived my life thinking everyone was out to hurt me and In a very defensive state but the reality is that not everyone is my parents or my molester. This was a hard write so now ill go weep my healing tears a bit. Sober is the New Black.

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Stay Connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez 

Ellie Goulding your song  I dedciate to my innner child that still feels the need to feel scared. It time to go now, I got this. Run free. 

 

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August 12, 2014

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DAY 81 Sober: A Poem a day, Poems, Writes, Quotes, Sober Hangover

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DAY 81 Sober: A Poem a day

Hello friends today is day 81 sober, Today been such an amazing. I’ve been in bed most of the day. I was beyond tired after work. I wrote a few poems today. I am finding a new love that is poetry. It helps me get these feeling out. I was in the middle of my series of poems when I was inspired to start a new series, both will be finish soon. Then off to be Publish, Its crazy to know I am living a dream, a dream not in my head; it’s more of a feeling that I feel come over my skin. It’s hard to explain. Like an out of body experience with heighten senses.

But a dream only made possible from staying sober, man if I knew how it felt I would have done it years ago saved so many heartbreaks. My 90 days are coming up, no plans yet, maybe a steak dinner. People talk about being humble, which I am trying to always be but I want to celebrate every moment that I am sober. I deprive myself for so long from life and I am now in the moment, dancing, laughing, writing, and loving. I feel like my life will be a constant celebration even if my surrounding are not matching, life going to happen whether I like it or not, I just need to be so in love with life the ride will be fun and It will be easier to pass through hard times. I want sobriety over, fun, money, fame, love, over everything. I am learning how to fall in love with the essence of sobriety; it’s been pretty easy. I have not craved a single drop of booze in almost 3 months, which is unheard of with the old Adolfo. I don’t put myself around people, places or things that might trigger that but even if that trigger appears the buzz of this dream is so much greater than that whiskey thief that robs me of everything. Including life. Sober is the New Black. Five things I am grateful for is for love, sobriety, the readers from all over the world, poems, and for people in recovery who are walking beside me, reaching out a hand if ever darkness appears.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

Poem 4

Poem 4

Lykke li Dance, dance, dance is so amazing. Words can never make up for what you do, so now I dance, dance, dance