DAY 77 Sober: A Dream Come True

Hello friends, today is day 77 sober, yesterday I got some news. I really can’t share it now but if there is anyone out there that question if they should stay sober or anyone out there that is suffering. I can tell you dreams that are unimaginable dreams will come when you put that drink down and not only put the drink down but go inside yourself and do the work. The Work is hard at first but it turns into excitement because you start realizing that its really not work it’s more finding the essence of you. At Day one I never thought that this dream was even possible but only with staying sober doing the work, finding me has allowed this dream to come into existence. I started matching my words, thoughts and actions. I started to create from with in happiness, love and passion. This dream is going to take me to next level of happiness next level of bliss. I am so grateful; I cant even put into words. So today I weep of joy, with the lack of sleep and I am so ready to do what is necessary to not only hold on to this dream but also put the work that is needed into it. Sobriety is number one, Always and forever.

 

 So this a letter to anyone who is suffering, I was in bed on May 24 2014 crippled by Addiction but in the midst of my screams and cries, The misery, the pain, the lose. I realized at that moment, the reason for it all was Alcohol. At that moment I accepted the fact I was addict and not only accepted it wanting to change. This inner strength was very small and bleak at first but it was there, somehow I found it and hold on to it. Asked my higher power to strengthen it. At that moment that wants for a drink vanish and the want for life happened. It takes a lot of work, tears, letting go, becoming self aware on how the mind of the addiction works, The steps, finding a higher power you can surrender to, one that you understand it to be. I will always be a work in progress and don’t plan on being perfect, because once I think I’ve got it and I am perfect than I stop growing and I become stagnant. Its baby steps sometimes. In 77 days of being sober, everything is brighter, I feel peace and serenity, I have deep love for myself, I am inspired by everything from the light upon my skin, to the sweet air in my lungs, to a smile a person gives me, inspired by connections I made and will continue to make. Inspired by moments only my higher power and I had the opportunity to see. I used to think I had no love but I didn’t know that was created from within, I was always looking outside for love, outside for happiness. Now that I have love and happiness within myself, I can now share love and happiness with someone else.

 

I am so grateful for the men and women who have more days sober than me, you guys are my teachers, my strength, you give me tough love which is sometimes the most important kind of love, you paved a path walked by millions, on that path I see love shining from the pavement, on the side of the path I see supportive people cheering me on. I am so grateful for people who have less days sober than me because you inspire me to keep my courage lit so I can inspire courage with in you and cheer you on. The love I found in AA and outside AA is indescribable. People in recovery are some of the strongest people on this planet, to go from the depth of despair to a beacon of light. Sober is the New Black. I am extremely grateful for this dream and for friends in recovery.

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

This clip from the film DreamGirls is how i feel at the moment its the Finale, That little girl in this clip Weeping in the  audience is my inner child weeping as I am about to embark on the dream. I am on stage singing to my inner child letting that child know its ok, time to go, I got this now

DAY 46 Sober: End of day thoughts

Hello friends its 46 day sober and its the end of day. Today has been craving free and a really good day. I had to check myself a bit today; I did not sleep well last night so the lack of sleep mix with Alcoholism came out. Everything and everybody annoyed me even down to my dinner being made incorrectly. As I lay in bed I wonder if that was my Alcoholism or Ego. People who aren’t addicts get annoyed over small stuff.  This is something I need to be aware of because I don’t want to have a fuck it moment. I am glad I can reflect on my day and I can see what I can improve on and hopefully the universe will bless me with another day so I can work out my issues. 

 

Feeding your mind, body and soul with nutrients such as laughter, joy, healthy food, meditation, you time, sleep, vitamins, a great work out, positive thoughts helps you get through hard moments and clears your mind so you can be aware when alcoholism starts infecting your mind. I am really ok knowing that their is know cure. It makes me have to always work on myself . There are people who aren’t addicts who don’t get the chance to work on themselves so I kind of feel blessed to have this disorder called alcoholism because it forces me to have constant growth, find a higher power and become a very self aware person. As crazy as it may sound if I did not have this disorder I would still be angry, A victim from my childhood, full of hate, selling my body, a lost soul wandering this world without ever knowing me or my potential, Maybe this disorder called addiction was put in my life so I can over come my past and break the family cycle that’s plagued my family for generations. These are my last thoughts before I say my prayer and get some much-needed rest! I will be making a video blog tomorrow it’s been awhile but its needs to happen! I am grateful for life, for not wanting to be right but always searching for truth, for everybody who takes a moment to join me on this journey of sobriety…. My bed time song is from Eddie Vedder Society

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo