DAY 219 Sober: Sober and Single

Hello friends today is day 219 sober, I have one more week left until I head back to Los Angeles. Palm Springs so far has been a beautiful trip. Seeing loved ones also meeting some new friends has been amazing.

I am trying to figure how soon I should tell someone about Sober is the New Black. I am very open and raw which I don’t mind but some people might be quick to judge without getting to know me whole. With any normal person dating you don’t let it all out on the first date but in my case Everything is out for the world to see. He will ask what I write about and If I don’t tell him right away would I be lying? I know eventually the person I meet will find out. I also know the one guy I meet will have to accept me not drinking, but I wonder how soon should I let them know the reasons why I don’t drink? If a guy does not understand then of course he isn’t the one for me.

Would it be hard to be with somebody who drinks? Should I even attempt to connect with another guy who suffered from addiction? I know whatever will be will be, so I should just wait and see.firs

With all this said I met someone really cool, fun, and nice. He is aware that I don’t drink. Someone in their twenties who does not partake in drinking is a bit of a foreigner. He wanted to know why I don’t drink. I felt it was way too soon to let him know, but I did hint towards an issue. He seemed to not push the issue and we danced the night away. I had such a blast, laughing all the way to the next morning.  When I first meet a guy and we connect I find myself a bit perplex on what to say. I am not looking for a relationship at the moment, but I do want companionship. I’ll just go with the flow of life. Sober is the New Black. Many questions and not enough answers.

“Smile through the pain until Frowns Become Magnificent Crowns ” Adolfo Vasquez

 

crowns poem

crowns poem

Love me some Peter Murphy and I’ll fall with your knife, is a breathtaking song. hope you all enjoy

DAY 138 Sober: Advocate for Sobriety

Hello friends today is day 138 sober. Work has been hectic but I am still finding time to write and heal. The longer I am sober the easier it is to stay sober. Somebody once told me its easier staying sober than trying to get sober and I do believe that. My life is golden and blissful, and each moment that I am breathing I am so grateful. I don’t miss that drunken numbing state. I love feeling life even if it hurts a bit or at times annoying it can get but I am feeling and that means I am alive.

 

 I am finding passion for things I never knew I was capable of doing or enjoy doing. No other habits have surfaced, my coffee intake have gone up a bit but not to extreme. I find myself constantly smiling and looking in people eyes. Trying to see past their scars and trying to see them only in the light of understanding and compassion. I do tune out people who have aggressive opinions about my blog. I can’t waste my healing energy on people who are committed to not understanding me. I understand that being Anonymous is very important but I don’t mind letting people know I am an addict because I want people to know its ok to be an addict, it doesn’t define me and I am capable of having a great life, and just because someone is an addict doesn’t mean that they are a bad person or selfish, the disorder is but the person is not. I see myself more as an advocate for Sobriety. Sober for me, is the best thing I have ever worn and goes with every part of my life.

 

 My life has change in so many ways, people that I love are back in my life. The biggest change is how I see myself. I have this deep love for me and I want to be a better person everyday. It takes work but the work turns into getting know the real me that has been hidden. It really cool getting to see me grow and let go of my past. Being aware of the mind disorder has helped me stay sober. The voice in my head is tuning out and a new voice of love in coming on.

 

When I sit still in moments, it feels like a dream. I think of were I’m today and where I been and I cant help tear up due to gratefulness. It doesn’t matter how low of a bottom you are in, there will be climb that might take time but once you come over on the other side life will be nothing but bliss. Sober is the new Black.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

 

 

I love Sara Bareilles, this song is perfect. Brave i will be till the end