Hello friends, today is day 83 sober. It’s been a great day, I have my only day off tomorrow, so I need to try and cram everything in. Today I’ll be writing away but first dinner with a friend. Burgers in Larchmont it is, I love Larchmont its like a hidden gem. I haven’t seen this person in awhile so I am excited to catch up. Next week I start my seasonal job, so I am excited to be making some serious money again. A lot of free time will be gone because I’ll continue to work at the nonprofit. Two jobs will be temporary. When I look back on my old spending habits, most of my savings went to booze. My bills were always paid over booze but whatever was left over was spent on partying. I once took a trip to Palm Springs and spent around one thousand dollars on a week long party, I was wasted the whole time. My account now days look a lot nicer. I am learning how to save.
Yesterday at work, I notice a lady who was a bit sad. She is a regular I talk to, time to time. I am very sensitive and notices people energy right away. I now live In a state of wanting to listen and help so I went over and asked if she was ok, she just utter a few words, she said a “man Is breaking my heart.” I too recently went through a break up and saw here pain so it hit me and I started to cry with her. I didn’t expect that. I gave her a huge and told her to get up. I told her she is amazing, it will pass and to never close the heart because if you do that other person wins. I went home and couldn’t sop thinking of her, so I wrote her two poems. I gave them to her today, she was so grateful and we hugged again, we are going to get coffee soon. It does not take a lot out of me to listen and try to understand someone who might live differently than me but we all can relate to hurt. I hope I can help others. That’s my mission is to inspire others that might not be inspired.
In the middle of the night I get some amazing ideas for poems so now I sleep next to a note pad and pen so I can write them down, I am afraid ill lose them in my sleep. My goal is to write at least one poem a day, anywhere from love to addiction. I need to collect the ones I have already written down and get them printed, so I can show the publisher. I have poems written everywhere from napkins to scraps of paper, IPhone and my work computer. I am in a constant state of inspiration. The two poems below I created today, one is about not got giving up and one is very short but it’s about doing what is necessary to heal. Sober is the new black. I am grateful for work, love, and new friends, old friends and for my passion for sobriety .
Stay connect with love, Adolfo
Hello Friends today is day 82 sober, I had such a wonderful productive day. My next day off is this Friday, no plans really except going to a publishing office. Life is pretty amazing. I’ve been working on creating love with in myself for me. In the beginning it was a bit difficult and it took a lot of work. For me it started with watching the way my mind works. My mind would tell me sad, story’s that made me feel bad. For example all I am is an addict, I have nothing, I am fat etc. So I had to change those thoughts to yes I am an addict but I am also other amazing thing, yes I might be chunky but I am still amazing and I can work on that. Than I starting adding positive thoughts telling me how awesome I am. I do it most of the day, usually in the morning or in bed. Then I started noticing my feelings starting to match my thoughts and words. Now when I do it I add the feeling and now it even bleeds into my actions. Not only do I feel deep love inside me for me but also I feel in on my skin like a warm blanket or a nice fire. It protects me from others. I will no longer be that abused child or self-abusive. I won’t walk away; I will stand tall and push my way through. No one has the power to make me feel anything other than what I feel for myself.
This can only happen if I keep this sober mind, I found such deep love for myself, greater than any other human. I respect myself so much and since I created it, know one can take it away, yes I get moments of sadness cause by life but the time I suffer is less and its easier to get that smile back. Now that i found purpose, deep love for myself and is focus. I would love to share this new me and life with someone. I love my little belly that seems to never disappear, I love my curly hair that seems to be out of control at times, I am in love with my laugh, and my gap front teeth. I love every distinct thing that makes me, me. I am so inspired by me I wrote a poem today. Sobriety has brought me a deep love others and me. I love even strangers. Looking in people eyes and listening without my ego, has change the way I connect with others. Listen, understanding and validate that they are heard. At work, when I am talking to people now I get constant handshakes and smiles. Everybody matters because they are born; it’s not an accident why we are here. That sperm hit that egg for a reason, everybody has a purpose, and lets find it. I am starting to find mine. Sober is the New Black. I am grateful for me, sobriety, for a new/old friend that just resurfaces, for my naps and for life.
Stay connect with love, Adolfo
Jessica Andrews Who i am is such a powerful song, Finding who I am everyday