Day 353 Sober: Building myself

Hello Friends today is day 353 sober. Just got back to LA from an amazing trip back home in Palm Springs. I spent mother’s day with both mothers, grateful for the sober mind that allowed me to enjoy each moment. My year sober is in a couple weeks. It’s kind of surreal to have made it this far without cravings. It went by quickly. This journey has been so rewarding in every aspect of my life, Mind, body and soul. The ones I lost because of past addiction are coming back around.

Day 1 sober I was sitting on a mattress in an empty room. I was empty and broken inside. No purpose, no clear path, not writing. I felt defeated but I knew the reason for all the turmoil was due to alcohol. Fast forward to today, actually living a life that I am proud of. Feeling weightless of the past. Seeing people with love instead of ego. I will always be working but today I’m enjoying 353 days of sober.

I stumbled upon an amazing app called Sober Grid that connects me with other sober people in my local area. It’s available for all smart phones. It really cool, like a community sharing their day, posting inspiration on the news feed, and they even have a burning desire if someone needs to talk at anytime of the day.   It’s hard sometimes to meet other sober people who can relate and understand. In the past I’ve meet some cool people who find out I’m sober, they tend to get scared off like I’m contagious.

I am aware that being sober carry’s a stigma that we are boring. Others might not want to invite me because they want to have a drink without feeling guilty or worry. I’m at a point in my recovery were I can be around alcohol and not crave it. My life is to amazing to ever want my lips to touch another bottle.

When I was an active addict I was not fun, maybe in the beginning but once I blackout I would make drunk scenes. Get emotional and act out in ways that were not my true self. I would wake up the next day and have a feeling of deep shame. Now when I go out, I’m in control of every situation and outcome. I’m now Laughing, dancing, being myself, a wiser and more positive person. I’ve notice the universe is bringing more like minded people in my life and taking away all the negative thinking people.

When I was using, I would always build myself in bars. By stretching the truth, lying, or hiding my past. I did that because I was empty inside. I knew up to that point I had amounted to nothing. Hearing others succeeding in life made me feel low. When I look back on my tall stories, I can’t help laugh at how delusional I was.

So I now I build myself up in healthy and mindful ways. Asking myself what needs to be worked on. Whether it’s work on my health or old wounds. Being aware of my emotions for example if I’m hurting or feel jealous I will ask myself “why I’m I feeling that way”? Than follow that string of pain to the source. Once I find the source than I could heal by letting go and forgiving. I also build my self up in other ways like Creating love for every part of my body and if I’m not happy with my waist than making healthy choices in my eating habits. Believing that I am worthy of self-respect. Working on long-term gratification instead of living for instant gratifications. Writing poetry. Sober is the New Black


Here are some poems and two short stories.


I wrote this awhile back but yet to share it. At 11:52am an incident happen that took my breath away. this was the moment.



I’ll do whatever it takes to evolve from old ways


We all have disagreements with friends and family but now i value the saving the relationship than being right or wrong



I was always searching for outside things because I felt empty inside. nothing I found would be lasting, creating a greater need for more things. Making it a vicious cycle of need.


whatever happens in life, whether good or bad. don’t break from your truth

be still

On day one sober, I was still bruised from my life crashing down but i found the beauty in the fall. so I just hold on for another day.

beauty in the dust

Feeling life always to the extreme.


a bit about me

I want to learn something new everyday


Love is one of my favorite feeling for myself and for others

i love you

About that one love


I love always love big, i don’t know how to love small


Adapting to change easy is a great quality to master


Wrote this awhile ago, for that one boy

my boy

Sober is the New Black

This video from London Grammar is Amazing. Love this song Strong



Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 81 Sober: A Poem a day

Hello friends today is day 81 sober, Today been such an amazing. I’ve been in bed most of the day. I was beyond tired after work. I wrote a few poems today. I am finding a new love that is poetry. It helps me get these feeling out. I was in the middle of my series of poems when I was inspired to start a new series, both will be finish soon. Then off to be Publish, Its crazy to know I am living a dream, a dream not in my head; it’s more of a feeling that I feel come over my skin. It’s hard to explain. Like an out of body experience with heighten senses.

But a dream only made possible from staying sober, man if I knew how it felt I would have done it years ago saved so many heartbreaks. My 90 days are coming up, no plans yet, maybe a steak dinner. People talk about being humble, which I am trying to always be but I want to celebrate every moment that I am sober. I deprive myself for so long from life and I am now in the moment, dancing, laughing, writing, and loving. I feel like my life will be a constant celebration even if my surrounding are not matching, life going to happen whether I like it or not, I just need to be so in love with life the ride will be fun and It will be easier to pass through hard times. I want sobriety over, fun, money, fame, love, over everything. I am learning how to fall in love with the essence of sobriety; it’s been pretty easy. I have not craved a single drop of booze in almost 3 months, which is unheard of with the old Adolfo. I don’t put myself around people, places or things that might trigger that but even if that trigger appears the buzz of this dream is so much greater than that whiskey thief that robs me of everything. Including life. Sober is the New Black. Five things I am grateful for is for love, sobriety, the readers from all over the world, poems, and for people in recovery who are walking beside me, reaching out a hand if ever darkness appears.


Stay connect with love, Adolfo

Poem 4

Poem 4

Lykke li Dance, dance, dance is so amazing. Words can never make up for what you do, so now I dance, dance, dance


DAY 57 Sober: What My Hometown Brings Me

Today is day 57 sober and its a beautiful hot day in Palm springs, I am surrounded by love and family. Its a perfect day. My Aunts and stepmother are in the kitchen cooking away, laughing, crying and telling stories. I am teary eyed with gratefulness enjoying every moment of this. My mind is clear enough to be in this moment in pure joy.  I  feel this feeling inside me, bliss.  Today is my Grandmas 60th surprise BDAY party. There will be around 80 people here and it booze free, which is amazing. I love the desert smell, my warm skin caressed by the sun rays, the sound of family laughter, the essence of home cook meals, the hugs, My brothers voices, the family pets are just some of the things I miss when I am back in LA. The more I am sober the more I am appreciating those wonderful blessings. Life for me is so much better clean and sober. I have to say my family is pretty awesome. I did find myself wishing I had a love to share this moment with me, seeing him in the kitchen building a bond with my family. My stepmother and aunts are very open and love to joke.  I know one day ill have that. 


Last night some child hood friends and I went to a couple of gay clubs, the first was a club called toucans it was ok, music was not my taste and I wanted to dance so we left. We ended up at hunters and that satisfied my dancing need. No cravings at all, both of my friends were drinking one was over drinking and I found myself seeing my old ways in her. The more I am around people who drink the more it makes me not want to ever. Not that I am judging but I will never want to feel so detached from reality and my soul. I’ve been in a bit of a dry spell when it comes to one aspect of my life, and I am a guy, so I was hoping in finding a make out body. Not really sex or a relationship, just someone to talk to and connect, dance, make out, hold hands; very light stuff. Someone to appreciate and be appreciated but what I realized is everybody was drunk or buzz and was looking for sex. The booze is out of my life and sex wont happen until I find someone who wants to be exclusive my body is such a beautiful gift for my partner to have, I cant give it away to some cheap motel drunk, that I don’t really know with that said I wouldn’t mind making out with one. I am 28 and need to work on myself a bit more before I can try and build a healthy relationship. No one newly sober should add more to their plate and make an open space for hurt when healing.   I still wonder if I will end up with someone sober or who drinks. I know I don’t want my issues to become theirs and I cant help who I fall for. I also don’t want a drunk. I used to be one I know how diffcult I used to be. I am open for love; I can’t turn away a good guy. I am attracted to men now in a different way, kindness for me is the biggest turn on, a smile, a person who looks me in the eye, who is an open book, some one who has passion, loves conversation, loves to learn and grow, loves to eat and watch film, who is confident, someone who enjoys a great cry, someone self aware, all those things are sexy.


So I thought I would not have any contact with my birth parents while I am out here but it turns out my father will be arriving shortly to BBQ the food, he still has a relationship with my younger brothers and is friends with my stepmother. I have issues I am currently dealing with but I can push that aside for my grandmas BDAY. From what I hear he is in a better place, so I am proud of him. I talk to my birth mom and she is trying also to be better. She is currently homeless bouncing around from roof to roof. I love her very much and even though she done some really bad stuff to me, I have a deep love for her. I used to send her money and help her as much as I could but I had to stop. I don’t think she is using but who knows. I do weep for her at times, I just wish she would she her greatness, she does have a wonderful soul. I wish she can just get it together, for her but also for my selfish reason, I would love to get to know her. When I was going through my break up with Vince I would call her and she would just talk about herself and never asked me how I was, or after court, she even cussed me out when I decided to start this blog. I needed her when I was a kid and she wasn’t there, I needed her at the worst time of my adult life and she wasn’t there. I learn that I can’t look to her for something she never gave me and probably never will but the want is still strong. I would like that best friend bond but she live in denial and won’t admitted the role she played in my childhood, maybe it’s to painful or maybe she doesn’t know how.  I don’t want her to admitted or accept it for me but for her so she can grow. My love for my mom and father will never go away. The difference between my mom and dad is my mom try’s to have a relationship and my father doesn’t. Not sure why they are that way they are, or if they also have parent issues that they never healed. I wish I had the power to glue their broken pieces but all I can do is glue mine.


Someone mention that I should attend an AA meeting, so I might but no triggers and no cravings, also there is a lot of love in these walls who have had addiction that are sober and not dry. Most of my family is in recovery; it’s like an AA convention when the family gets together.  That fact that I was in the old gay club with no cravings and dealing with my birth parents with no cravings shows me that I am growing and evolving. I cant go back once I have had a shift in consciousness and I cant become unaware once I am aware, I cant unlearn 1+1=2 now it come down to choice. Sober is the New Black.


I am grateful for everybody who followed me back home, going to head back to the party.

Stay connect with love, Adolfo 

DAY 56 Sober: Homeward bound

Hello friends Today is day 56 sober, I woke up feeling really blessed. Today I travel back home to palm springs for the weekend. I always enjoy heading back, seeing family, seeing great friends, and of course eating all the yummy food I miss.  Going back Sober means a lot to me, in the past when I went home my mindset wasn’t clear, I had angry built up for my birth parents, I was drunk most of the time, I did not enjoy the moments. I probably wont see my birth parents but I do love them and wish them well. This trip will be filled with lots of love, food, laughter, tons of relatives, and a trip to a local Gay club. I love to dance and I need to start doing more stuff I love to do and less stuff I don’t like doing, life is to short. Maybe I can find a make out buddy but I won’t be holding my breath. 

My old night life in palm springs was always chaos before I would head out I knew that something would happen that will either lead to a drunken argument, fight, losing my ride home, arrest, getting kicked out of the club or bar, tying to score, tons of vomit and some crazy fling that was pretty horrible, I really had no respect for my body at all. I started going to a popular club around 15 yrs. old since then I’ve been kicked out tons of time.  I still can’t believe I made it out of Palm Springs alive and that I am in the space that I am in right now. Dancing is fun but I also want to sit a coffee shop and write, when I lived in the desert my mindset was in a different place so to do what I love back home would be a nice change. I never would write back home, I know my creative inspiration would blossom.

I enjoy somewhat of a routine in my life and when I don’t have it I get a bit sad, I feel like it stems from having such an unstable childhood and no really security, I so need that now but I need to change that it’s not healthy I am no longer in that environment.  I need to focus on the moments and say my grateful prayer each morning. It’s usually in the shower, cleanse from the day before. A refreshing new start. I give up every negative thought that bother me the day before, I ask my high power turn me upside down shake out all the negative thoughts, anger, hurt, pain, past, ego, fear, people criticism and put in happy thoughts, courage, compassion, love, joy, laughter, accepting of others, creativity, awareness and stillness. I used to look outward for those things but those are all created from within, I am the co-creator with the ultimate creator. Sober is the New Black

I am grateful for life, being sober, for family and for my aunt Angie for picking me up!

The killers are one of my favorite band of all time. The killers carry me home is the perfect road trip

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

DAY 50 Sober: Sober Saturday night

TODAY IS DAY 50 SOBER! It’s been such a great journey so far! Today has been a quite and relaxing day. I was in bed all day watching harry potter and ornage is the new black! Love that show!  I just got to my friend Lenny house. She in the shower so I figured it was a great time for me to write a bit. We both will be sober dancing away tonight! I love being sober and waking up the next day not half dead. Lenny and I used to run around Koreatown  a drunken mess, passing out on sidewalks, pissing in plain view of people. Day drinking leading into night drinking so by the time we walk into the club we are already blackout. Their was this one time we pulled up to a club in a taxi but I couldn’t even make it out so I had the taxi drive me back home. We used to be drunk and drunker. 

So this is the first time we are hanging out since I got sober, I have not seen Lenny in over 2 months. She has been so supportive since my break up and she is an amazing friend. When I first got here we caught up a bit. She started to slow her drinking down. I am happy for her! She was the first friend I made out her. We worked at this restaurant in koreatown and we connected right away. Tonight we will be heading to West Hollywood or Brass Monkey in ktown. Not sure yet. Today I said my pray and ask my higher power to guide me today so I know I am in good hands. I am grateful for life, great friends, and for everybody who has been reaching out with their stories. Today I spoke to someone who has been sober for 8 years; she is an amazing woman who I admire. Its people like her that keeps my inspired to keep writing.  Thank you all for reading and hope you all have a wonderful night!


Photo on 7-12-14 at 3.47 PM  Photo on 7-12-14 at 8.05 PM #2 photoPhoto on 7-12-14 at 3.48 PM







Stay connect with love, Adolfo

DAY 49 SOBER: Falling in love with myself

Hello Friends today is day 49 sober. Yesterday I had a blast hanging out with my friend Mel, We ate dinner and shopped, its feel great to have supportive friends. She is pretty awesome.  I also got a new hairdo.  Yesterday I did not write at all except my post earlier in the day. That was a first in a while so today I plan on a 5hr writing session after a 5hr nap. Waking up at 340AM everyday is starting to affect me, I am short with people, not fully alert, sleeping most of my day, so I need to change my work schedule. Its nice getting off early but I am so tired. I feel like I do not have a normal life. I feel like even 3:40am is early  for a morning person.  Talking to the boss man today! 


This weekend I’ll be hanging out with a friend I have not seen since I got sober. She was the first friend I met when I moved out here.  She knows everything about me, never judge me; She listens, and is supportive.  She was my drinking buddy on occasion but booze is no longer in my life. I don’t mind if she drinks around me. Being around people who drink doesn’t affect me at all because I do not want to drink but if I start having a craving for booze, I all have to leave the situation, pray and look inward.  The not wanting to drink does not mean I am free of it, I am sure there are going to be moments of cravings but I just have to push through and not give in to that voice in my mind called Alcohol-ISM (inside self  & Mind). We are planning a slumber party with food and movies! I kind of want to also do a pool day and maybe go dancing! I love to dance!


My goal this weekend is to finish up my childhood long read and also make a video blog! Two months is around the corner and I can’t believe the progress I have made in my recovery. I am more myself and it’s a great feeling getting to know me. And living in the moment. Staying focus on my sobriety is the Key to my door of success in love, life, career and self-improvement. As the days pass I am falling in love with every part of myself, something I never had the awareness or the capacity to do.  I did not know how.  My higher power is inside me, it’s part of me so I have to give myself the same love and respect I give my higher power.  I understand that I am a soul, spirit having a human Experience. The soul is very simple it’s the human shell that makes life complicated.



Stay connect with love, Adolfo




DAY 44 Sober: My New Relationship

Hello friends today is Day 44 sober, I had an Amazing weekend. I am so grateful for everybody reading Sober is the New Black. I am so exhausted but its worth it! I just woke up from a nap and I am in need of  few more hours of sleep! I am sitting near downtown LA, having a cup of coffee! My childhood friend Nikka came out to LA for her BDAY.  We had a much needed ladies weekend that consisted of great talks, beach, laughter, hiking, great food, dancing and in her words a turnt up weekend. Started at the beach and ended at a nightclub. This was my first time at a club since I got sober, anyone that knows me knows I love to dance so I knew Bars probably would end unless they served food but Clubs wont end. I did not have cravings at all. Nikka was very respectful and did not make me feel uncomfortable. I dance for a few hrs. And had some water. It was a great work out. It had some cute boys but I was just focus on Nikka and dancing away. 

I’ve been single for a while, last night I realized I might be lonely but my body is a gift and I will not just give it away to just some drunk at the club. Now that I am getting older I need to start respecting my body more.  So the next person I sleep with will be with someone serious. With that said I am a human so what I am allowing myself is cuddles, some social fun and a great make out session but that’s it. I can’t have any distraction in the beginning of my sobriety. Since I am newly sober and going through a breakup my Alcohol-ISM (Inside self &Mind) is coming out with negative thoughts pertaining to my old life and EX. So I’ve been praying and asking my Higher Power to take away those negative thoughts. I have to remind myself I am single at times because the thought of being with some else brings out a bit of guilt for thinking of another man, I guess I still have feelings for my EX but the feelings are fading and I am falling out of love by the second.

When I was single in the past I would be at bars drunk and hooking up but now I am sober and older those things do not seem sexy. That’s not the type of guy I need in my life. I do wonder if my next partner needs to be sober? Do two recovering Addicts work well together? I know my EX was a gift from the universe to open up my eyes to myself. I need to beat this disorder and be a pioneer in my future. I do not want my past relationship and my EX effort to be in Vain. I will be ready to do it right this time around. Above all Sobriety is number one in my relationship… my Ideal relationship will consist of

 Knowing what my partner needs to feel loved — even if those needs are different than mine.

We fight productively.

Confidence boosts from are mutual physical attraction.

We have separate identities, but you face the world as one.

Communicate without speaking

 We are Comfortable around each other since day one.

Challenges each other like no one else can

 Comfortable getting a little adventurous between the sheets.

We bring each other a sense of inner calm.

Willing to put the “we” before the “me.”

We connect with each other friends and family

And Acceptance 


Stay Connect with Love, Adolfo