DAY 101 Sober: keep walking with me

Hello friends today is day 101 sober, I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday. Yesterday I woke up not really having any plans, so everything that happen was spur of the moment. It was perfection. My family came out from Palm Springs we had an amazing dinner. My brother moved out here, so he will be staying with me for a while. I am excited to have my younger brother out here, I was a bit nervous before hand, I wasn’t sure if it would work but seeing how excited he was really made me joyful. His situation back home wasn’t ideal so hopefully he can seize this opportunity from something great. We both have gone through the same childhood past so I understand his way of thinking so hopefully I can inspire him to finding himself. No booze and No drugs in my home. Those two rules don’t get a second chance if broken. He understands my sobriety, which I am grateful.

 

 Before my family came out, I went shopping with a great friend. This friend seen me at my worst and has been there as much as he could have. I am very grateful for him. I know he is proud and that makes me feel good. We laugh and talk, well I am a talker he is more of a listener. I can rabble for hours straight. Every time we hangout out its really fun and I have a great time. Its like my friends and family are getting to know the real me, the one that’s always been scared to come out, a better me. I got home just in an enough time to clean my apartment; I need to be better at cleaning especially now that my brother is here.

 

 So today I feel blissful, very grateful for my sober mind. It took some work to get me to 101. There is always going to be growth and stuff to work on. I am slowing down so I can take moments to enjoy my surroundings more. All my needs are met and then some. Going back to yesterday, it felt like winning some sort of an award that took a lot of hard work. 100 days sober was a big deal and I am glad I took time to feel that in my heart. Today my brother and I will be bowling, it’s his first day living in LA and I want to show him how incredible this city is. Sober is the New Black. I am grateful for life. 

 

 

VV Brown Children is a perfect song, Darkness falls and kills the light, don’t surrender, be alright. Oh if I had my way, I would through everything away and draw it up again, keep walking with me.

 

DAY 99 Sober: MY Inner Ninja

Hello friends today is day 99 sober, it’s the eve of my 100 days sober. Kind of feels like my own little Christmas. Today I only allow bliss nothing is going to take that away. Not even the mean clients at work or the stresses of life. Today I’ve been in tears most of the day because I know how much healing had to be put into getting here. How much work, tears, surrendering, being honest, accepting, dealing, creating love for me, coping with life, and doing it all without that one thing that was a constant friend, that booze. More like a hidden enemy. It was the only thing that was consent in my life but also killed everything good in my life. It feels good be rid of that life thief, money grabber, band aid over a gaping whole in my soul. 

 

 

99 days for me is a huge thing and with everyday that passes gratefulness is what I feel. There are millions of people who never get to this point, and some might have even passed away from this battle. There are no words to describe how determine I am to continue this journey of finding me and now that I am finding me I can start creating my future. I have some stuff on the horizon that blows my mind and hopefully inspires others to start creating in their life. So tonight I just want to pay respects to anyone who passed away from addiction, there battle lives on in my heart and it reminds me to also do my work and stay focus. Their deaths are not in vain. I wish I can find a cure, I really do but I cant and will not. Only thing I can do is to create with in me so I can inspire. I want to also be inspired by others. I don’t ever want to have all the answers because once I think I know it all than I stop growing and evolving. I just want to be a better me tomorrow than I am today. I am working towards sober from booze, sober from past, sober from ego, sober from anything and everything that is barrier from reaching my full potential. Sober is the new black. There are no words for the love I feel for you, who continues to take time out of your life to stay on this journey with me, and check in.

 

 

 

 

This song from Classified and David Myles Inner Ninja is exactly me in this moment, nothing going to stop me now. Going to go hard because i am long overdue.