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July 8, 2014

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DAY 46 SOBER: Self Doubt, Sober Hangover

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DAY 46 SOBER: Self Doubt

Hello friend’s today is day 46 sober, Last night was a very relaxing day. I did absolutely nothing except ate some pizza and watch film. Today will also be a relaxing day as well. Soon ill be working my freelance job so I need to enjoy this time off. This Freelance job is a seasonal job that will last until the end of the year. This job is a blessing, the pay is amazing but the work matches the job. Last year I was in a bad place at the end of the season. I was a drunk and it was the beginning of the end of my three-year relationship. This season coming up I will be a sober new character and I am so grateful for the opportunity. I will be working 7 days a week but it doesn’t feel like work when you enjoy what you are doing. I just need to make time for AA and Sober is the New black. Without those nothing matters. Last season after work I would stop at the infamous liquor store around the corner fill up my Morning coffee cup. The job was a bit stressful added with my addiction and breakup but working out, eating better, meditation and making me time will help the stress. This job is a blessing so many in so many ways.

Everyday that I am sober my mind gets clear and my body is feeling really good. I am learning how to cope with my feelings. Endure sadness and let it pass. Be grateful for the joy I feel and try in live in it always. Focusing on making new relationships and really try to connect with them on a soul level without ego and judgment. Learning everybody feelings are valid even if the ego disagrees. Not really focusing on people who don’t understand me or Sober is the New Black. When you start listening and focusing on negative things people are saying it starts leaving a space for self doubt and that is not good for an addict. Not everybody going to like what I do, that’s ok. My job isn’t to change their mind or convince them to understand me. I can only focus on the ones that do because I know the universe is guiding me on my new path. I need to focus on my sobriety above all. Self-doubt is a form of fear and insecurity I have always struggle with. It was in still in me at a very young age and it carried into my adult life. I am a Sensitive type of person, I will always be somewhat affected by intense people and circumstances, but I need to establish a Spiritual core that I am working on now, so I wont be thrown off my path by people’s remarks. I am going deep within myself through meditation finding my core and its issues. I have always been somewhat of an introvert person and that helps me in knowing my core is what affects my thoughts and my current circumstance.

I am grateful for my peace of mind, my job, and for people who try to understand others without ego.. this song is such a powerful amazing work of art. Has to be my all time favorite Devendra Banhart freely

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

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July 7, 2014

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Sober Stage, Sober Weekend Photo Album

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Sober Weekend Photo Album

photo 2-2

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adolfo vasquez

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July 7, 2014

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DAY 45 Sober: Happy Birthday Lupie!, Sober Hangover

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DAY 45 Sober: Happy Birthday Lupie!

Hello Friends today is day 45 sober!!! Today is such a beautiful day, my best friend, mother of my brothers, Stepmother, concert and tattoo buddy BIRTHDAY! She has been in my life since I was a toddler. She left my father years ago because she wanted a better life for my two brothers and herself. She has been by my side at every moment of my life, even from a far. She loves me with an open hand allowing me to make mistakes and Evolve. She gives great advice, and listens. She came into my life when she was only fifteen; my father was a very difficult man at times so whenever my father would go crazy she would be my refugee. When my birth mother did not want my brother and I or was in jail, or homeless. She raised us. At the time my father was also in his Addiction. I cant not imagine raising four kids, two not her own and living with an addict who was not nice at all. It’s been amazing seeing her grow and evolve.

Everything she has in her life she has worked hard for and did on her own with no help including buying her own house. When I was in the midst of the Addiction she gave really hard love, she refuse to pick me up from jail and refuse to support my addiction. She never really called me an addict but she would ask question to get me thinking and let me figure out on my own. She loved me at my highs and more importantly she loved me when I’ve been down. Sometimes love can be tough it isn’t always joy and butterflies its also can be a bit hard, painful, and not always pretty. It might not even feel like love at the time but usually that kind of love is needed. Everyday she wakes up wanting to be and do better, that’s what I love about her. She has taken in people off the streets including my birth mom and has given her some great advice.

As I got older and sober I started see the world differently, yes I had profoundly misfortunate childhood but the universe put keys players in my life to help me become Adolfo, My stepmother is one of them. She is a great teacher in life, she has thought me courage to fight for what I believe in, to love above all, to never give up, to always see the positive in everything, don’t waste energy on people who are committed to not understanding you, to dream big and take action. She is my backbone; She is my rock, my mother and Father, confidant, Tattoo and concert buddy, my spiritual teacher!

Love you so much! Words can’t say enough! I may not be with you today, but I will in spirit! Sober is the New Black

Stay Connect with love, Adolfo

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July 6, 2014

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DAY 44 Sober: My New Relationship, Sober Hangover

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DAY 44 Sober: My New Relationship

Hello friends today is Day 44 sober, I had an Amazing weekend. I am so grateful for everybody reading Sober is the New Black. I am so exhausted but its worth it! I just woke up from a nap and I am in need of few more hours of sleep! I am sitting near downtown LA, having a cup of coffee! My childhood friend Nikka came out to LA for her BDAY. We had a much needed ladies weekend that consisted of great talks, beach, laughter, hiking, great food, dancing and in her words a turnt up weekend. Started at the beach and ended at a nightclub. This was my first time at a club since I got sober, anyone that knows me knows I love to dance so I knew Bars probably would end unless they served food but Clubs wont end. I did not have cravings at all. Nikka was very respectful and did not make me feel uncomfortable. I dance for a few hrs. And had some water. It was a great work out. It had some cute boys but I was just focus on Nikka and dancing away.

I’ve been single for a while, last night I realized I might be lonely but my body is a gift and I will not just give it away to just some drunk at the club. Now that I am getting older I need to start respecting my body more. So the next person I sleep with will be with someone serious. With that said I am a human so what I am allowing myself is cuddles, some social fun and a great make out session but that’s it. I can’t have any distraction in the beginning of my sobriety. Since I am newly sober and going through a breakup my Alcohol-ISM (Inside self &Mind) is coming out with negative thoughts pertaining to my old life and EX. So I’ve been praying and asking my Higher Power to take away those negative thoughts. I have to remind myself I am single at times because the thought of being with some else brings out a bit of guilt for thinking of another man, I guess I still have feelings for my EX but the feelings are fading and I am falling out of love by the second.

When I was single in the past I would be at bars drunk and hooking up but now I am sober and older those things do not seem sexy. That’s not the type of guy I need in my life. I do wonder if my next partner needs to be sober? Do two recovering Addicts work well together? I know my EX was a gift from the universe to open up my eyes to myself. I need to beat this disorder and be a pioneer in my future. I do not want my past relationship and my EX effort to be in Vain. I will be ready to do it right this time around. Above all Sobriety is number one in my relationship… my Ideal relationship will consist of

Knowing what my partner needs to feel loved — even if those needs are different than mine.

We fight productively.

Confidence boosts from are mutual physical attraction.

We have separate identities, but you face the world as one.

Communicate without speaking

We are Comfortable around each other since day one.

Challenges each other like no one else can

Comfortable getting a little adventurous between the sheets.

We bring each other a sense of inner calm.

Willing to put the “we” before the “me.”

We connect with each other friends and family

And Acceptance

Stay Connect with Love, Adolfo

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July 5, 2014

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DAY 43 Sober: Sober Night Out, Sober Hangover

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DAY 43 Sober: Sober Night Out

Hello friends today is day 43 Sober and its been an amazing day so far! Sober weekends are pretty amazing, no hangover, no regrets, no crazy nights, remembering the night before and making amazing memories!v We just got back from Long beach, ca. The beach was pretty awesome, its was a dog beach. Dogs are so cute and full of pure love, I have such a connection with dogs. The weather was perfect. Tonight I will be dancing away with my childhood friend for her Birthday. She is so fun and loves to dance! I love to dance. So tonight West Hollywood it is. This will be the first time ill be going out Sober. I am single and in need of some fun! Maybe ill find a cute boy to dance with. Today I asked my higher power to guided me Throughout the day, I know my higher power and the universe is on my side, I just have to stay sober and focus!

I am grateful for my friends, love, Sobriety and for Sober is the New Black.

Stay Connect with love, Adolfo

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July 4, 2014

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DAY 42 Sober: Happy 4th, Sober Hangover

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DAY 42 Sober: Happy 4th

Hello friends, today is day 42 Sober. Hope everybody enjoyed his or her 4th of July. This morning I woke up in a bit of a funk not really Feeling like celebrating. Since I’ve been sober I’ve been having some dreams of my old life and when I do I always wake up in a bit a funk. The dreams are not about me drinking. It focuses on my ex and my old friends. This dream was about my EX celebrating the 4th with his new love and my old friends, someone stealing my old life from me. When we broke up, I was the bad guy and so everybody left, I understand they were his friends first so of course they took themselves out of my life, I expected that but every time I dream those dreams I wake up with deep loneliness and kind of numb. So I prayed really hard in the shower and asked my Higher power to get me through the day and once I got out, I was ready to celebrate the 4th! Some friends and I had a BBQ at a park; it was peaceful, filled with laughter, water gun fights, great food and love! It reminded me how amazing my new normal is and I cant be a prisoner of my past but the pioneer of my future.

Also my blog has been getting A lot of amazing support which I am so grateful for. kind people who are reaching out and sending their well wishes. Since my blog is public their also some other people who are also in recovery that are not feeling it. Which is ok I don’t expect everybody to understand my journey into sobriety. This blog is from a guy who is just 42 days sober, so the point is to Evolve, grow and document my story and struggle. So I know I don’t have all the answers and don’t want to. I just want to be whole and heal. Maybe this blog might help newbies and maybe it might remind winners what it’s like to just be 42 days sober. I spoke to this amazing lady last night, who I believe is such an inspirational winner and she reminded me I have to take advice that works for me and leave the rest. This blog is very therapeutic and I had to refocus and not give those people any energy. This blog I believe is a gift form the Universe and I know there is a bigger picture. I have to stay focus on staying sober that’s it.

Today I am grateful for being Sober, My Higher Power, for all the love that surrounds me, for AA and The BIG BOOK.

Stay Connect with love, Adolfo

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July 3, 2014

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DAY 41: Oprah Winfrey "Surrender", Sober Hangover

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DAY 41 Sober: Oprah Winfrey “Surrender”

Hello Friends today is day 41 Sober and it has been such an amazing day. I am sitting in a coffee shop in Koreatown, Ca. This place has been a safe place for me. Sober is the New Black has been such a form of therapy for me and I am so grateful for it. Yesterday post on Oprah Winfrey was part one; the second part is about Surrendering. I saw this a while back and at the time I was struggling with surrendering but Oprah Winfrey has thought me how too. Surrendering brings so much peace. Surrendering is a big part of me getting sober. The last few attempts at trying to stay sober was not successful because I thought I can do it on my own by not drinking. I did not understand the process of surrendering to a higher power! Once you Surrender to a higher power that you understand it to be in your life. Infinite Possibilities are waiting for you!

Hope this video helps anyone who is struggling with surrendering in any aspect in their life whether it be Loss, Addiction,or from past.

Stay Connect with love, Adolfo

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July 3, 2014

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DAY 41 Sober: HAPPINESS, Sober Hangover

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DAY 41 Sober: HAPPINESS

Hello Friends, today is day 41 sober and “Sober is the New Black” has been such an amazing gift. Sobriety has brought me so much peace, a happy mindset and self-awareness. Once I accepted the fact that I am an Addict and understood what role it has played in my life at that time. Sobriety also thought me a lot about my own happiness.

Happiness is something that is created within you. We all have the tools inside ourselves. I see Happiness like A lantern in me; I have the fuel inside and my Positive thoughts, which is my match. Since happiness comes from within no one can take it away, events in your life may cause the light to dim or even go out but we can relight that match again with are positive thoughts. There is such thing as external happiness but this is a temporary feeling that goes away. I used to think External Happiness was the only kind and I was always searching for it in people, jobs, what I buy, competition with others, my scale, and how I look. When you only look for External happiness you are never fulfilled and always searching for the next bigger and better thing once you achieve whatever it is you were looking for. You become a Slave to external things but once I started to become Self-aware I try and only focus on the Inner happiness. It’s a joyful feeling that flows from me out into the universe with smiles, kindness and love. Happiness isn’t about you receiving because you can’t receive what you already have. Happiness is a state of being and once you are truly their life is bliss. I see people and the world differently now. The only way I can continue this state of bliss is doing the work and staying Sober not just from Booze but from Past and ego

I still can appreciate external things but only with internal happiness can I live in a state of bliss and gratefulness, even during break ups, losing something important, gaining weight, getting old etc. My inner happiness is still burning bright. It might go dim or out but I just re light my lantern with my positive thoughts.

I am extremely grateful for this moment right now! To be sober, to be Adolfo and to see the love shining all around me, coming from within!

I love Pharrell “ Happy” Hope you enjoy this video!

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

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July 2, 2014

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DAY 40 Sober: Oprah Winfrey, Sober Hangover

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DAY 40 Sober: Oprah Winfrey

Hello today is day 40 Sober and it’s been an awesome day! Growing up not really having a stable foundation, all I really had was film and TV. TV has thought so me so much about myself. One person in particular has helped my in ways no other person has. Oprah Winfrey has inspired me throughout my life. I started watching the Oprah Winfrey show as a child into adulthood. Her words has open up my conscious and brought me connected me to my soul. Teaching me the essence of the Law Of attraction and how to connect with my higher power. She is like my ultimate teacher and mother like figure. Watching her show at a young age gave me hope; even hearing her own story is so inspiring. She introduce me to amazing life teachers like Maya Angelou, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Michael Bernard Beckwith and Iyanla Vanzant who all inspire me in different areas of my life. Infinite possibilities. Sober is the New Black!

I post a video below of her Inspiring video that I’ve watch countless times when I am feeling a bit down, hopefully it can helps others as well.

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

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July 2, 2014

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DAY 40 Sober: A Sponsor, Sober Hangover

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DAY 40 Sober: A Sponsor

Hello friends today is day 40 Sober, in the past I have reach this point before I was in place of not fully accepting the fact that I am an addict. I would admit to some people but there is a huge difference between admitting and accepting. Admitting is just a word to me, I need to accept it with every cell in my body and believe I am an addict. Connect it to the role it plays in my life today, I think for me being an addict is ok. I want my Addiction to become a blessing so I can help others. I want to grow and learn with other addicts. My higher power probably knew I was strong enough to break the family disorder so it blessed me with it and maybe to help others. Addiction really has brought me closer to myself and today I feel really good, good enough to start finding a sponsor. I know it’s not an “I” program it’s a “WE” program. I never had a sponsor before and I know it’s a fear base and fear is something I am working through. Not the fear of the work its fear of the sponsor. My sobriety is the most important thing right now next to my higher power. I’ve been in and out of AA since I was 23 and I seen some really dry and mean sponsors that scared me. With that said I believe that the universe will bring me whatever I need and sometimes what I think I need is not what best for me and what I don’t want might be exactly what I need so I need to overcome that fear and not let the Alcohol-ISM (Inside Self & Mind) create a window even if it’s a small one for it to over take my mind.

What I’ve learned in the past 40 days is pain inevitable. Were human and not perfect nor meant to be. It’s how long we allow that window of suffering. Anger for me is easy to brush off but hurt for me goes a bit deeper. Some pain/hurt like a loved one passing is something I struggle with trying to understand. Is that pain/hurt supposed to go away? I know what creating a new normal is but you still carry that hurt with you. I am sure as life happens and I get older I might understand or maybe I am not meant to understand just let my higher power guide through those moments of grief.

Today I am so grateful for all the support. There has been a tremendous support from other Addicts that have warmed my heart and made me feel not so lonely. They have shared their stories, wisdom, and suggestions that have inspired me and brought me comfort. Their has also been people saying I inspire them and some people who have been sober for a long time say I have reminded them on what life use to be like in the early days of sobriety and that keeps them focus. Those things have brought me so much joy there is no words to explain it, it’s more of a feeling that flows through me. I am so grateful for you all and I have deep love for you all! Sober is the New Black!

Stay Connect with love, Adolfo