DAY 83 Sober: New friends and Old friends

Hello friends, today is day 83 sober. It’s been a great day, I have my only day off tomorrow, so I need to try and cram everything in. Today I’ll be writing away but first dinner with a friend. Burgers in Larchmont it is, I love Larchmont its like a hidden gem. I haven’t seen this person in awhile so I am excited to catch up. Next week I start my seasonal job, so I am excited to be making some serious money again. A lot of free time will be gone because I’ll continue to work at the nonprofit. Two jobs will be temporary. When I look back on my old spending habits, most of my savings went to booze. My bills were always paid over booze but whatever was left over was spent on partying. I once took a trip to Palm Springs and spent around one thousand dollars on a week long party, I was wasted the whole time. My account now days look a lot nicer. I am learning how to save.

 

 Yesterday at work, I notice a lady who was a bit sad. She is a regular I talk to, time to time. I am very sensitive and notices people energy right away. I now live In a state of wanting to listen and help so I went over and asked if she was ok, she just utter a few words, she said a “man Is breaking my heart.” I too recently went through a break up and saw here pain so it hit me and I started to cry with her. I didn’t expect that. I gave her a huge and told her to get up. I told her she is amazing, it will pass and to never close the heart because if you do that other person wins. I went home and couldn’t sop thinking of her, so I wrote her two poems. I gave them to her today, she was so grateful and we hugged again, we are going to get coffee soon. It does not take a lot out of me to listen and try to understand someone who might live differently than me but we all can relate to hurt. I hope I can help others. That’s my mission is to inspire others that might not be inspired.

 

In the middle of the night I get some amazing ideas for poems so now I sleep next to a note pad and pen so I can write them down, I am afraid ill lose them in my sleep. My goal is to write at least one poem a day, anywhere from love to addiction. I need to collect the ones I have already written down and get them printed, so I can show the publisher. I have poems written everywhere from napkins to scraps of paper, IPhone and my work computer. I am in a constant state of inspiration. The two poems below I created today, one is about not got giving up and one is very short but it’s about doing what is necessary to heal. Sober is the new black. I am grateful for work, love, and new friends, old friends and for my passion for sobriety .

 

Stay connect with love,  Adolfo

 

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DAY 82 Sober: In love with Me

Hello Friends today is day 82 sober, I had such a wonderful productive day. My next day off is this Friday, no plans really except going to a publishing office. Life is pretty amazing. I’ve been working on creating love with in myself for me. In the beginning it was a bit difficult and it took a lot of work. For me it started with watching the way my mind works. My mind would tell me sad, story’s that made me feel bad. For example all I am is an addict, I have nothing, I am fat etc. So I had to change those thoughts to yes I am an addict but I am also other amazing thing, yes I might be chunky but I am still amazing and I can work on that. Than I starting adding positive thoughts telling me how awesome I am. I do it most of the day, usually in the morning or in bed. Then I started noticing my feelings starting to match my thoughts and words. Now when I do it I add the feeling and now it even bleeds into my actions. Not only do I feel deep love inside me for me but also I feel in on my skin like a warm blanket or a nice fire. It protects me from others. I will no longer be that abused child or self-abusive. I won’t walk away; I will stand tall and push my way through. No one has the power to make me feel anything other than what I feel for myself.

 

This can only happen if I keep this sober mind, I found such deep love for myself, greater than any other human. I respect myself so much and since I created it, know one can take it away, yes I get moments of sadness cause by life but the time I suffer is less and its easier to get that smile back.  Now that i found purpose, deep love for myself and is focus. I would love to share this new me and life with someone. I love my little belly that seems to never disappear, I love my curly hair that seems to be out of control at times, I am in love with my laugh, and my gap front teeth. I love every distinct thing that makes me, me. I am so inspired by me I wrote a poem today. Sobriety has brought me a deep love others and me. I love even strangers. Looking in people eyes and listening without my ego, has change the way I connect with others. Listen, understanding and validate that they are heard. At work, when I am talking to people now I get constant handshakes and smiles. Everybody matters because they are born; it’s not an accident why we are here. That sperm hit that egg for a reason, everybody has a purpose, and lets find it. I am starting to find mine. Sober is the New Black. I am grateful for me, sobriety, for a new/old friend that just resurfaces, for my naps and for life.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

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Jessica Andrews Who i am is such a powerful song, Finding who I am everyday

 

DAY 81 Sober: A Poem a day

Hello friends today is day 81 sober, Today been such an amazing. I’ve been in bed most of the day. I was beyond tired after work. I wrote a few poems today. I am finding a new love that is poetry. It helps me get these feeling out. I was in the middle of my series of poems when I was inspired to start a new series, both will be finish soon. Then off to be Publish, Its crazy to know I am living a dream, a dream not in my head; it’s more of a feeling that I feel come over my skin. It’s hard to explain. Like an out of body experience with heighten senses.

But a dream only made possible from staying sober, man if I knew how it felt I would have done it years ago saved so many heartbreaks. My 90 days are coming up, no plans yet, maybe a steak dinner. People talk about being humble, which I am trying to always be but I want to celebrate every moment that I am sober. I deprive myself for so long from life and I am now in the moment, dancing, laughing, writing, and loving. I feel like my life will be a constant celebration even if my surrounding are not matching, life going to happen whether I like it or not, I just need to be so in love with life the ride will be fun and It will be easier to pass through hard times. I want sobriety over, fun, money, fame, love, over everything. I am learning how to fall in love with the essence of sobriety; it’s been pretty easy. I have not craved a single drop of booze in almost 3 months, which is unheard of with the old Adolfo. I don’t put myself around people, places or things that might trigger that but even if that trigger appears the buzz of this dream is so much greater than that whiskey thief that robs me of everything. Including life. Sober is the New Black. Five things I am grateful for is for love, sobriety, the readers from all over the world, poems, and for people in recovery who are walking beside me, reaching out a hand if ever darkness appears.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

Poem 4

Poem 4

Lykke li Dance, dance, dance is so amazing. Words can never make up for what you do, so now I dance, dance, dance

 

DAY 80 Sober: RIP Robin Williams

Hello friends today is day 8o sober, its been a productive day. Just woke up from a nap and heard about Robin Williams. I felt a sadness come over me. Not sure yet what happen but I know he struggled with Addiction.  Every time I hear about a person who has been sober for so long, passing away. It reminds me that this disorder never goes away and I need to be focus always and continue to work on myself. Just scary to know I have that in me. Today I feel a bit sad, but focus. I watch his films growing up and loved his laugh. His smile was adorable. This will be a short post, going to make a batch of coffee and continue to write and be inspired with life. Sober is the New Black. I am Grateful for being sober, for Robin Williams films and for life.

 

I wrote a poem today on the bus ride home. Its about my past mistakes and my current state. 

Poem 3

Poem 3