Hello friends its End of day 66 sober and I will be up late, I got some feed back from an Editor, So i am up rewriting. Usually when I write I listen to music or youtube videos. I just came across this Gem on Separating the voice in your head from the real you. It helps me identify that voice cause by Alcoholism that speaks to me in my tone of voice so i thinks it me but really its that addiction. I have not heard. That voice has not spoke to me about wanting to drink but it does come out and tells me a story that makes me sad that can lead to a drink. So i have to watch that voice in my head or commonly known as thoughts. Hope this help anyone. Sober is the New Black. Grateful for the Editor, for Author Michael Singer, and for Oprah
Hello friends today is day 66 sober and it’s been such an amazing day so far. I am currently sitting outside on a bench, it’s a warm but overall beautiful. After watching yesterday post on forgiveness. I felt a weight lift off my back from The wrongs I have done and the wrongs others have done to me. Not that those things are ok but accepting that those things had happen and just let them be. Not beat myself over it in the moment and not hoping or wishing that the past could have been done any different. Such a powerful video.
What I learn is I need to create clear boundaries with certain people in my life including my parents. I never really had boundaries for myself. I would let people do what they want to me whether its being bullied or in relationship. I’ve been cheated on and I allowed myself to allow him to hurt me. It all comes back to me, yes he cheated but I allowed it to go on so it’s really my fault know one else. Yes it hurt but pain is part of life , I choose how long i want to suffer. The more i write down these things the more i realize how many people in my life don’t really know the life i walked including vince. we never went in depth. It feels god to let these out.
Today I choose what kind of relationship I want to have with my parents if any. When I was a kid I didn’t have a choice but now that I am older I can create clear boundaries, so they cant hurt me or anyone for that matter. I was never thought self respect and boundaries at a young age, only until now do I understand what that means. I know I could never live with my parents again or be around them for longer periods of time. I know that the minute I find someone cheating on me I am out the door. One of my EXS back in the desert was very cold and treated me really bad and I stayed. All I wanted was to be love I didn’t care how bad he treated me. I am starting to write down my teen years and will post shortly. Sober is the New Black. I am grateful for creating boundaries, for love, and for you guys who take time to read my post.
Stay connect with love, Adolfo
Leela James cover of Sam cooke “A change is gonna come” is the soundtrack to my life. Its just breathtaking