Hello friends, Today is day 19 sober and it has been an amazing day. I’ve been working on Nonfiction for the past two years now; today I plug in my work external hard drive to my Mac. I had a folder with the same name on my desktop and the hard drive. One had work stuff the second had my nonfiction. Well I accidently replace my work folder with my personal and my nonfiction was gone. I have a rough draft somewhere but in that moment at almost died but right away I surrendered it to the universe. There was nothing I can do; I can only choose how to react to the situation. I feel like everything happens for a reason so maybe that nonfiction needs to be rewritten with a sober mind! So far my mind has been filled with ideas. So I accept it and learn a valuable lesson. I need to have a few back ups! I am grateful I still have my rough draft!
Ill be heading back home tomorrow, I am so excited to see everybody. I have not been home since Christmas and New years and during that time I was wasted for 3 weeks straight. So it’s nice to go back with a clear mind and an open heart. I am not worried at all about drinking or getting cravings. I have tons of memories that consist of drugs, booze, and horrible nights but when I go back I am going to be focusing on making healthy memories. Excited to be at a pool and to hit up some local thrift stores that are may favorite, also eat some yummy food.
So I know ill be fine on the not drinking part, the only thing that’s on my mind is seeing my father since the holidays. It did not go so well he got in my face he was a mess. I need to remind myself that there is a bigger picture here and maybe I can use this trip as a healing trip to tie up all the loose ends and to finally leave it all behind me! Thank you again for taking time out to check out Sober is the Black.
Stay connect with love, Adolfo
Hello friend’s day 19 sober. My body is feeling good and I woke up with a clear mind. I need to start going to bed early or switch my schedule, last night I fell asleep at 1am and woke up a bit after 4am only a few hours asleep is not going to work. I love being up at all times but need to sleep.
So yesterday I was working on Sober is The New Black at a cafe that I absolute love, the vibe and energy is perfect. The cafe is located in between my two old bars that I would frequent on a daily basis. I usually sit inside but yesterday I decided to move outdoors. It was a beautiful day in LA. So as I am writing this car pulls up in front of the shop, A man gets off the car and I recognize him from the bar, I can tell he was already intoxicated and when he exit the car he started to take a few hits from a pipe (weed). He notices me and I said “hello”. He asked me why he hasn’t seen me at the bar. With out hesitation I told him I had quit and I am now sober. He had a puzzled look on his face.
A little bit of a back-story; he is also a fellow writer and an English teacher. The first time we met we talked for hours. He gave me a notebook with a bunch of his writings and told me to take it home and read it. He also wanted me to write something down on a napkin so he can read something I wrote. I was drunk at the time but I did. I believe he wanted to see how good I was; At the time I was in a place of not wanting to share my writings. I don’t remember what he said about my writings, I am sure it was not good; After all he is an English teacher and is going for his masters!
So back to yesterday, after I told him I was sober and he gave me puzzled look. I told him I started a blog and then he told me to read it for him, already I felt my body tense and knew he was ready to be an asshole again so I told him he would like to read it I can give him a link to my website. I was also in the middle of my online AA. He drunkenly persisted and I know how drunks are because I was one so I invited him to the table. He started to read an older post out loud and the booze smell just filled my space. When he was finish he looked at me and said I just got my masters in two years. I congratulate him, which is pretty awesome. He then said my grammar is atrocious, my writing lack originality, and its pretty bland. He ask me if he can write a post for me so he can spicy things up. I told him no the blog is my personal journey and its really not about being perfect or right but being honest and truthful. He drunkenly kept on. He then clicked on my other web browser, which opened my AA video, he then said “isn’t AA suppose to be Anonymous it defeats the purpose”. At that I point I felt my blood start to boil but I explain to him everybody joinery is different and I am ok speaking about it.
He eventually walked off to my old bar. Writing for me is very personal and so is this blog and being sober. I should have not let him in my space but lesson learn and the wheels keep turning. After he left those anger feelings left quickly. I realized that I was once that way to a lot of people maybe not in the same context but those feelings I had inside me I probably caused in others. He was just some stranger, the majority of the pain I caused were to love ones that probably hurt even more. I am so grateful that I am in a joyful place because that encounter would have stayed with me for a longtime if I was in my old mindset but in my new mindset no one has the power to take away my joy. I also wish him the best and hope he finds peace, also I hope he is successful in his writing career. So happy to have 19 days sober and counting!
Stay connect with love, Adolfo