Hello Friends, Two weeks ago I decided to start living my truth. For me the first step in living my truth is to admit that I am an addict but not only admit to others and myself but to really connect with what that means and what role it has played in my life. I need to really understand that magnitude of the mental disorder. I allowed this mental disorder called alcoholism to ruin everything great in my life! Not my profound misfortune growing up. Not my Parents Choices. Not my abusers. Where I am at today was only caused by my choices and not admitting that I have a mental disorder. What is amazing is once you become aware, what seems like a huge challenge becomes a certain defeat over Alcoholism. A person cant become unaware once he is aware. You can never unlearn 1+1=2, you just can’t!! It becomes in grain in your brain.
Because I am aware doesn’t mean I am safe, I need to have tools to help me on the path to staying sober. I know 1+1=2 but I still can write down 3 that’s when choice comes into play. I have to always choose the right answer! Even when this infected mind tells me 3 I have to write down 2. I know Alcoholism is a lot harder than writing a number down but what I am trying to say is it comes down to choices and surroundings. The last few times I tried to get sober I was very dry not dealing with my issues and doing it for the wrong reasons. I wanted to live a normal life like everybody else but just not drink. I didn’t realize that becoming sober was a life-changing thing, a new normal. I wanted to still hangout in bars with friends and still be around it.
It’s impossible to put a starved man in room with amazing yummy foods and tell him to never eat! He will eventually eat. I was a starved, dry and untreated alcoholic that was putting wanting to be normal ahead of my sobriety. I need to be selfish when it comes to being sober. I remember being at friends house and really crying inside the whole time because everybody around me was drinking and I was sitting with a non-alcoholic beer. I was crying inside because I didn’t understand the mind disorder and the body disorder. The ISM, Inside Self and Mind.
Recently since I have gotten sober I have been able to be around booze without being tempted because I am aware of the Mental voice in my head and the minute I start feeling uneasy I have to be selfish and walk away. I used to think that a life without booze isn’t life at all but being sober made me realize I never really stared to live. The thought of never drinking again was such a sad thought that brought me so much pain. So now I just change my thought to being sober is such a new and freeing thing and I can’t wait to see how life is going to be sober! Whether you are an Addict or a normal person, the minute you get a negative thought change your thought and once you do I promise life will change if you let it!
Two weeks sober and loving life! Thank you so much for all the support!
Stay connect with love, Adolfo
That is great advice for anyone. Keep it up man!