DAY 115 Sober: Family of Addiction

Hello Friends today is day 115 sober, I got back from my hometown of Palm Springs ca. My friend Lisa from Oklahoma came out, I have not seen her in over 4 years. It was nice reintroducing myself, a sober, calmer me but still similar. It seems like there was not enough time to catch up but I am glad we had the small time together. We danced the night away, I did not crave a drink one bit. I had a tonic and lime also a red bull. I love bars and clubs that give free soda or free non-alcoholic drinks to Designated Driver, It’s a wonderful idea and I hope more bars do the same. I got to see old friends. Hang with family and make new friends.

 

Dancing the night away sober filled with sweaty nights, great music, laughs and soda pop, and a late night fast food run after is a perfect night that shows it is possible to live a “sober is the new black” kind of life. This new normal is now the normal and I love it. I did not get to see everyone I would like to but I will after this work season is over. I wanted to get a tattoo but that would have to wait. Never enough time. What’s keeping me sober is getting control of the mind voice that is my disease and staying focus on self-healing.

 

My family is plagued with the curse of addiction my grandfather was an addict who passed away from booze. My father and mom both suffered from addiction I believe both have stopped but are not in a program of self healing so they are both filled with hurt, anger and making poor decisions, I feel they might still be using some other drug than meth maybe weed or booze not sure. I also have brothers that suffer from addiction. The longer I stay sober the deeper disgust I have for booze and drugs, it robbed my family from so much from potential. I Even sometimes finding myself wanting to break every bottle of booze in stores but I know its not the booze it’s the mind of the addict that allows us to lose are self.

 

This family curse will end with me so my kids and their kids will not be plagued with this family curse. I still have tons of work to do and learning how to heal the best way and its putting pen to paper this poem I wrote is for my mom. It’s a bit harsh but the pain she has caused is real and its written from that 3 year who had no voice, who was beaten black and blue with blood spills, no love, only fondled touches and anxiety ridden from drug fueled rage. All I had was nothing. Sober is the new black. Grateful for the reader, for love, for my healing writings, for life, for my strength, and my survivor skills.

 

 

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Stay Connect with love,  Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 112 Sober: Demi Lovato

Hello friends today is Day 112 sober, I’ve really busy writing lately. Writing takes up most of my days, anywhere from 6hrs and up. I used to spend that much time in a bar but I am no longer in that prison. I found a new love in coffee shop bliss. The surroundings are A lot nicer and it doesn’t smell like drunken vomit. I am inspired by natural light so open space with a lot of green is a perfect place. I know some people could be turn off by me counting days, but the reason for it is so I can look back and see my growth. It’s like an online journal and maybe someone who might be struggling at day36 can Google and maybe my post can show them I am there with them in that moment so they don’t feel alone and also maybe I can remind someone with more days then me what day 78 was like. Also if I need a reminder on how life was in the past I can look back and see my progress. Like I said I can’t waste energy on people who committed to not understanding my sobriety or me. I only hope to only inspire others who might be suffering to find a program that works for them and to heal from within but not just heal but become great in life and live your dreams. When you are healing within it flows into actions and how your treat others without opinions and judgments.

 

I know what works to keep me sober might not work for everyone and that’s ok. Aggressive opinions on how I stay sober can hurt me a bit, I know some are out of concern but its working and I am sober and not craving. My spiritual healing is the core. The steps are the foundation. Yes of course AA helps but what’s more important for me is outside those four walls and the actions I take on my day-to-day basis. I may not always go into detail about what step I am on or commitments or sponsorship. I might in the future but I write in the moment, these post are not written in advance. I don’t even have an idea in my head until my fingers hit the keyboard. Than after the title is made. I write in the moment for the moment.

 

 

I have always been an open book and share every detail of my life. If anyone has any question I am open to them and will always answer the best I can. I am a huge fan of people in recovery speaking up about addiction. People have an idea that just because you are sober you can’t have fun but that’s far from wrong. Artists celebrate recreational drug use in music and TV; I think its wrong and also I think there should be more clear minded alternatives for young people. Being sober is the best thing I have ever put on, its fits like a black dress it works in every aspect of my life. It’s an amazing life and very cool. It’s a great state of mind and there should be more options for people in there 20’s who do not feel pressure to heavily drink and do drugs on a sat night, have a cup of coffee and write, go dancing sober, instead of picking up a drink, pick up a paint brush, create a hobby, create art. Find you. Now that I am leaving my twenties, I realize it was a drunken blur and I just want kids to know there are other options; I could have had 10 books publish already with the amount of money and time spent on partying. I am so grateful for people who speak up about addiction celebs and non. I admire Demi Lovato, she is one of us. She is in recovery and her music is all about empowering others who suffer from addiction to know anything is possible once you seek help and heal and do the work. Sober is the new Black.

 

DEMI LOVATO STORY, SO BRAVE AND INSPIRING.

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez 

DAY 111 Sober: “Awoke” Poem

This Poem I wrote is about the beginning stages of getting sober, I was Fighting the fact that i was an addict, but than my mind Awoke to a different way of thinking. So proud to be sober 111 days. hope you guys enjoy. Sober is the New Black. Sober now because I have deep love for myself.

 

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Stay connect with love,  Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 109 Sober: Oh hello, Roller coaster of Emotions

Hello Friends today is day 109 sober, it’s been a really good day. I did have a Rollercoaster of emotion the other day. Day 106 sober. My post was more a feeling rant. What I am noticing is I am learning how to feel life again and deal with the emotions that come with sobriety. I hope I did not worry anyone, nothing will take away my sobriety. Its number one and the rest will follow. The last few days, I had to accept the universe decision, I know there is a bigger picture my round eyes probably cant see at the moment but I know The universe has something huge in store for me. I just have to stay focus and embrace life, how I am suppose to. Sobriety doesn’t solve all my worries it just gives me a clear mind so I can make a decision and heal. I am going to have ups and downs and probably feel hurt again but what’s amazing is I am not wanting to drink. I am so proud that I can become sad to that extent I was that night and not want to use.

 

Getting sober, break up. losing everything is really hard but possible to overcome and what’s even more crazier is you can go from that too writing a book and that my friends just shows you the power of sobriety. People in recovery are the strongest people I have ever met. Dealing with addiction and trying to be a better person everyday takes endless amounts of courage . Some People who are non addicts don’t try and be the best them everyday. Also the loved ones who stick by the addict are also the strongest people I know because my loved ones were fighting my addiction and dealing before I deiced to fight myself and continue to love me and support me. That’s why they are my hero’s. Vince mother, Vince, my stepmother, Vince friends and family, my friends, my family. They were fighting before me and it feels good to know their pain was not in vain. So grateful for them and their love. there are no words.

 

Side note: I learned when I like someone I forget how to speak in normal talk I Stutter and get so nervous

 

I have five days off coming up and I want to do a mini trip somewhere and also write, write, write. It really helps me clear my mind and stay focus. My goal is to have my first draft complete by Monday and hopefully soon you guys can be reading my book. Today I am grateful for love, friends, work, and writing and for pain that makes me stronger and the fact that I am felling pain means I am alive and that is a blessing in itself. Sober is the New Black

 

Stay Connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

 

Vance joy besides being hot and a great singer, is a brilliant artist Riptide is perfection