Hello Friends today is day 151 sober, it’s been such a busy day. Life has been really good since my last post. My heart is getting stronger everyday and my mind is getting clear from all the negative thoughts. Being aware of the mind Disorder called Addiction is helping my stay sober, one-day at a time. Grateful for each sober moment. I have always been a fan of people who are outspoken about their addiction, it helps me see whats possible in being sober. They are teachers and for newly sober they inspire. Not just sober from booze, sober from hurt, fear, sober from anything this is preventing someone from reaching there full potential. I relapse a bunch of times in the past because I was focus on the stuff I couldn’t do anymore like old routines, old friends instead imagining what I can accomplish once I am sober. I hid my relapses from everyone I loved. The mind disorder was a lair but me the person was so weak and scared I was so ashamed. I was a let down like always. Someone really close to me found wine bottles in my bag and I broke down, The disorder came out screaming than the real me came out crying knowing that I let everyone down again. It still haunts me a bit but admitting my relapse was very painful and hard for my loved ones but it free’d me so i can hit my rock bottom, which made me become aware of the mind, that lead me here today healing. It needs to stay as a reminder of what booze has done to my life. I know exactly what will happen if I started drinking again but I don’t know what will happen when I stay sober and that is amazing.
I never really listen to Macklemore music until a friend recommended me to him. I was unaware there album “The heist” is about Ben Haggerty overcoming past and his addiction. Ben Haggerty is a member of the hip-hop group. The last few days I’ve been obsessed with his album and his story. It shows the Capability of Sobriety, if you relapse its ok because you can change now in this moment. Macklemore inspires me to keep writing, dreaming and to never ever feel that my addiction Is who I am, I am so much greater and I have infinite possibility when I sober. The first 2 videos are songs off Their album the Heist. They are about Ben Haggerty addiction and the last video is an interview with dateline about relapsing. Sober is the new black.
Stay connect with love Adolfo
SOBER IS THE NEW BLACK
STAY CONNECT WITH LOVE, ADOLFO VASQUEZ
Hello Friends. Today is day 144 sober. Lately I’ve been learning how to accept life’s decisions. Everything happens for a reason and I have to accept the universe plans even if it hurts. Yes pain is part of life and so is heart breaks, I just have to stay focus on my healing. In the past when life wasn’t going as plan I would give up and give in to coping substances but now I am allowing myself to endure pain and learn how to work through it with a clean mind and body. I don’t want an ounce of that liquid poison. I crave other things like healing, writing and finding a purposeful day. Yes my heart might be broken but it’s a sober heart and it’s grieving in a healthy way without booze. Whether its happiness or sadness, it’s great to know I am capable of feeling life without booze.
I’ve been working like crazy and have stop my daily posts on Sober is the New Black. I will get back to my daily entries once this work season is over. I also have some projects in the works but I had to pause them for the moment. My goal is to take off 3 months of work at the end of this year so I can finish my book I’ve been creating. I am adding another element to it and I am very excited. It needs to be perfect and I need to take my time so it can be right. I am aware of how blessed I am to be able to take 3 months off of work and I don’t want to take it for granted. In the past I would spend my time off wasting tons of money on hotels, booze and partying after the work season. This time I want to invest my time and money on my long-term goals and dreams. Sober is the New Black. I am grateful for life, family, friends, for my strength to endure life’s blues and for my sobriety that keeps me alive.
Hello friends, today is day 141 sober. It has been a really good day. I am at a hotel café in Korea town it has a really good brunch. The hotel has its own green house so everything healthy and fresh. I am in love with this place. There is nothing like it in LA. I’m so grateful for this sober mind. There has been know craving that old life and ways. Work has been a bit stressful but I managing my stress well. Leaving it behind and trying to find solutions for the issue. I work around 60 hours a week and weekends off. Today I have to work from home a bit but I am grateful for this job that allows me to have this amazing brunch.
My mind is getting healthy; I think its time for my body to also follow that path. It’s a bit hard because I love snack foods but I want my mind, body and soul all align. Even with working 60 hrs a week, I still write every day. It’s my healing tool, letting it all out. It is necessary for my growth. I write everywhere on buses and trains. Even at work ill sneak in a write. Most of my Poem’s are written on my IPhone notes. They usually start with an idea or a word I write down than elaborate. Some come effortlessly and written in one shot and others may take a bit more work. All is from a sober mind.
All I want to do is write. I know for the rest of my life ill be writing my life away whether its in books, movies, film, poems or journalism my writing is my purpose and it will guide me to a fulfilled life but all of it is only possible with sobriety and higher power that lives inside me at all times. Sober is the New Black.
Stay Connect with Love, Adolfo Vasquez
Hello friends today is day 138 sober. Work has been hectic but I am still finding time to write and heal. The longer I am sober the easier it is to stay sober. Somebody once told me its easier staying sober than trying to get sober and I do believe that. My life is golden and blissful, and each moment that I am breathing I am so grateful. I don’t miss that drunken numbing state. I love feeling life even if it hurts a bit or at times annoying it can get but I am feeling and that means I am alive.
I am finding passion for things I never knew I was capable of doing or enjoy doing. No other habits have surfaced, my coffee intake have gone up a bit but not to extreme. I find myself constantly smiling and looking in people eyes. Trying to see past their scars and trying to see them only in the light of understanding and compassion. I do tune out people who have aggressive opinions about my blog. I can’t waste my healing energy on people who are committed to not understanding me. I understand that being Anonymous is very important but I don’t mind letting people know I am an addict because I want people to know its ok to be an addict, it doesn’t define me and I am capable of having a great life, and just because someone is an addict doesn’t mean that they are a bad person or selfish, the disorder is but the person is not. I see myself more as an advocate for Sobriety. Sober for me, is the best thing I have ever worn and goes with every part of my life.
My life has change in so many ways, people that I love are back in my life. The biggest change is how I see myself. I have this deep love for me and I want to be a better person everyday. It takes work but the work turns into getting know the real me that has been hidden. It really cool getting to see me grow and let go of my past. Being aware of the mind disorder has helped me stay sober. The voice in my head is tuning out and a new voice of love in coming on.
When I sit still in moments, it feels like a dream. I think of were I’m today and where I been and I cant help tear up due to gratefulness. It doesn’t matter how low of a bottom you are in, there will be climb that might take time but once you come over on the other side life will be nothing but bliss. Sober is the new Black.
Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez
I love Sara Bareilles, this song is perfect. Brave i will be till the end
Sober is the new Black
Stay Connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez
Hello Friends it’s been a few days since my last blog post, I needed a break to clear my mind. Addiction is a family curse and it seems like lately I have someone in my immediate family who is in really bad shape and I am so focus on my recovery, I did not realize how bad of shape he is in. He just got out of the hospital from withdrawals but still wants to drink. I want to just shake him but I know I used to be him, in denial. The only person who can change his mind is he. I love him with all my heart and I know if anything were to ever happen I would be crushed. I inspire people but it seems I can’t even inspire my own family member to get clean. I can only focus on my healing and I have not craved any booze.
Helping my family member, will help me but he needs to want it. Not just accepting it but really wanting to stop and knowing with every cell in his body that he is an addict. Will be taking a trip back home so I can maybe talk to him. I’ve been working 60hrs a week, my program, and creating a book so I have not really had time for anything other than a shower and maybe a meal.
I believe in him and know he will see the light. I will do everything in my power to fight for him as others have done for me. I love him and I also will give him some tuff love. Sober is the new black. I am grateful for family, friends, love, my awareness, and for my program that keeps me clean.
Sober is the New Black
Stay Connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez