Day 327 Sober: Amy Winehouse

Hello friends, today is day 327 sober. I’ve been under the weather with a cold. While having the cold I got food poisoning. The worst. Today is the first day I have the strength to write. The whole time I was sick I wanted to recover quickly so I can get back to sober is the new black. Writing helps me self reflect. When I’m not writing I feel stagnate, stuck and without a purpose. Just floating through life without really living.

 

When I was an active addict I was obsessed with Amy Winehouse, her music was so raw and in a way very rebellious. At the time I wasn’t aware I was an addict. I knew I would drink in abundance, was in a dark place. I wasn’t aware that everything that was going wrong in my life was due to substance abuse. The universe kept giving me signs with every car I crashed, with every friend I lost, with every fight that happen. I connected with Amy Winehouse music on so many levels. Now that I’m sober I still love her music but now my perception of her and her music has changed. I see an artist that was suffering, trying to find herself through her music. Lost and a bit disheveled not rebellious. Her behavior, which seemed reckless at times, was just a symptom from the mind and body disease. I feel a bit sad she was never able to overcome her addiction . Her music will live on and her life can be a lesson “addiction doesn’t discriminate; rich, poor, black, white, gay or straight”. If I kept on being an active addict it would have put me six feet under. I am so grateful for the awareness sobriety has brought me. When she past I was in complete shock, that day i felt a bit heavy with sadness. Even after her death i kept on using not seeing Amy tragic end as a lesson or wake up call.

 

When I was in my early 20’s I would never look towards the future. I was only looking for the next instant gratification which was getting high, buzz, getting off, money, shoes Etc. I didn’t care about the future or long-term goals because I didn’t think I was capable of anything great. My mind would feed me False lies from a dark past. It was so easy using my dark past as an excuse for my behaviors and habits. My infected mind wouldn’t allow me to see possibility, a great future, happiness, love, self worth. It kept feeding, past hurts, childhood stories, false self.

Just because one is sober the mind still can feed those negative stories but once you find a program that works and start healing. Those negative stories become strength. I now can go back, reflect and speak about my past without feeling hurt or anger towards them. It gets easier separating me from the mind and body disease. Catching those negative stories. Shutting it down in seconds. Sober is the New Black.

A new Documentary coming out this summer called Amy is about the rise and fall of Amy Winehouse. Opening our eyes to the real Amy. She was not her addiction. She was something greater.

One of my favorite performances from Amy is so raw  you can feel every word in her voice.

https://youtu.be/KI3jwb4JZmY

 

Here are Some of poems I’ve Recently birth.

Feel free to share my poems, just credit me.

You can find all my poems on my instagram https://instagram.com/soberwriter

 

No matter how dark the night, or how bad you feel. The sun will rise and a new day will shine. arise

We are all different and have unique qualities. making us perfect and one of a kind.

Little star

When I was a child, I wanted to fly away to a new life far from the one I had. I was lonely, abused, hurt and did not trust anyone. I know there might be other kids running away. When they are stronger and ready to come home. love will embrace them.

 

 

satellite

I’m very grateful for knowing and feeling true love.

his

There will be times when life gets hard, people that we love will pass. We cant give up or forget who we are in the chaos of life

look up

There are times when i lay in bed thinking I could have reacted better or done that better but when i lay in bed knowing i was the best me. That’s when i feel most beautiful inside and out.

beautiful

once you heal and let go.  happiness, joy, gratefulness, compassion will grow

seeds of change

I wrote this about my past addiction switching from cocaine to Alcohol

Overdosing

We all have moments of connecting with others. Whether its love or lust, I will not let my mind close me off to love. Or have expectations of love. Just be in the moment and enjoy their company.

magnolia trees

In the past i would let my circumstances dictate how i acted and saw the world. My life at the time define every part of me but i realized i am not my circumstances, I will create my life starting with my thoughts. When I change the way I look at things. The things I look at change.

world

Helping and Inspiring others is the greatest feeling of all

Shooting star

When we break we heal back stronger than before.

Break Bones

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

 

DAY 76 Sober: A Power of A Shower

Hello friends, today is 76 sober. My work called me last night and they needed me to come in today. So I am here and feeling positive. I think it important for me to have a place where I can do a daily reflection from the day before. That usually happens in the morning or afternoon before I head out for the day. Somewhere where I can meet with my inner divine and ask it to guide me. My place is the shower, It’s kind of symbolic having yesterdays dust or filth wash away so my inner me can shine. Clean from the worries, the Stress, the wants, the needs. My prayer is for all the stuff to wash away and to instill greatness or whatever was lacking from the day before because I am not perfect but I want to always be working towards feeling whole inside. When I get sad or feeling stress or worried my shower is my safe place. Were I can cry or even scream if I need to. It was the place where I am always alone. Where it’s just my mind and me. I also get a lot of ideas in the shower. When I would get anxiety a nice shower would easy my nerves or if I was feeling sick a nice hot bath would sooth it.

 

The Shower growing up was so fun. My imagination would go wild. I would spend hours to the point my parents would pound on the door to get me out. I would use it as a slip and slide, a sea of possibility. As I got older the shower sometimes used for Adult fun. One of the greatest moments of my life happened in the shower. I was partying really hard the night before, I don’t think I ever did that much blow in one night and whiskey, I did so much I spun out. I got in the shower and had a horrible withdrawal attack.  My heart was pounding out of my chest, I had to go to the hospital. Ever since that day my anxiety has magnified. That incident saved my life and opened my eyes to how dangerous Cocaine is. After that incident I tried it a few times but I stopped soon after.

In a few ill be heading to a coffee shop close by so I can get most of my poems finish. They are coming along. All of them are different and its own living breathing thing. I will eventually turn them into a book. I am grateful for Sober is the New Black, for a positive mind, for the love that’s being created within, and my Showers

 

Beyonce XO  Video is how I feel at the moment. I am Madly in love with myself and so inspired with life, Even with the lights out. In the darkest night I search through the crowd and I find my inner divine.

 

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo