DAY 153 Sober: Thoughts in the Mind

 

Hello Friends today is day 153 sober. Part of staying sober for me is to being aware of how my mind works, patterns, habits, how I see the world also matching my mind with actions. Doing the right thing. At first doing the right thing felt uncomfortable because it wasn’t the norm. After awhile it became a good habit. Habits aren’t all bad. Replacing positive thoughts with negative ones use to be hard but once I became aware that I am in controlled of my thoughts, creating them have been pretty awesome. Not soaking in suffering. Grief is healthy; Tears of hurt releasing 85 toxins from our body so I allow myself when I need it.

 

When I cry I let it flow and eventually it will stop but if I keep thinking the same thought it wont stop so I allow a healthy cry but change my thoughts when I feel it’s time, I am in control of my body and mind always. I also don’t feel much unhappiness, yes I do feel a bit sad at times, a bit heartbroken but I am still happy and loving life. My recovery is self-rewarding. I am finding myself, becoming less attached to stuff, not offended by other people. It’s pretty cool finding new things about myself. What I like and what I don’t like. Recovery is a blessing, first rule is don’t drink. Go inside and find my root causes that started my addiction, Find a higher power that dwells in me. AA rooms are amazing but it all comes down to me, and what I choose to do when I leave those four walls. I know I can’t control life but I can control myself and will continue to heal, healing all the way to my grave. Never reaching for perfection, only reaching for wholeness, peace, serenity, and gratefulness. I want my mind to be so still and Quiet, like I am floating in life always. Sober is the new Black. I am grateful for life, people, recovery, readers, and for my fingertips that allow me to heal through my writings.

 

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Stay Connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 98 Sober: Forgiving my parents Oprah Way

Hello friends, its day 98 sober. It’s has been a busy day but feeling very grateful for this sober mind that helps me get through the day. Around this time in the past I would be past out drunk, so glad I have more hours in my day to create from within. I have started working my second job, I am so grateful for it. The hours, pay and environment are great. It’s a type of job with tons of deadlines and pressure but I’ve done it for years and use to it. The difference this year is I am sober. In the past it was ok to have a drink and work, maybe even a bottle of wine or some Macallan 12. Now it will be a total different experience. Some Pellegrino or coffee will do.I don’t miss the feeling or even the taste of booze; the only thing I miss is hanging out, the social aspect, meeting new peeps. Right now I just don’t have the time to be out, I have a few things in the works for Sober is the New Black. I do miss the bar food, I am a huge foodie.

 

On my way to this café in Koreatown I was looking out the window and seen this guy who appeared to be homeless stumbling around with a beer bottle in his hand, this disorder is real and I have to always be aware of the mind disorder. I felt empathy because the only thing that separates me from him is my sobriety. I am glad I am aware of what will happen if I pick up again. I am one drink away from death so I can’t have a next drink.

 

Today I spoke to my real mom on the phone and for the first time, I had no anger for her or hate. I felt love, it was weird because in the past I would be really annoyed or short temper when see called. I am learning how to forgive her and not really for her but for me. I need to happy and I wont if I carry hate for my parents. Forgiveness takes time. Not only do I want to forgive them I want a relationship. I want them to know me and I now them, If they want. My mom was a bit upset when I started this blog but now she understand this blog wasn’t about her it was about me healing. No matter how many times I was abused by my parents I still long for a friendship. My parents are also addicts so going through my addiction has brought me a deep understanding of my parents. My mom isn’t in the best place but I know she is working for a better tomorrow. I still have a bit of fear when I see my dad, when I see him I get nervous and say only a few words. It will take some more work but I would like to be friends with my father. I am also realizing I don’t really need parents in my life. Everything I need is in me; I just got to create love, joy, security, passion and growth. I can create friendships with others by being the best me and attracting that in my life. I just hope my parents find the serenity I do in this moment. Sober is the new Black.

 

I have to share this video from Oprah Winfrey again it Change the way I forgive, so powerful and i hope it helps

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez