Tag Archives: poems

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

December 31, 2014

Posted under

DAY 221 Sober: Life Changing year in Review

Comments

2 Comments

DAY 221 Sober: Life Changing year in Review

Hello Friends, Today is day 221 sober. Hope you all are having a wonderful new years eve. The last day of 2014, No cravings for that old and wasted nightlife. This past year has been a life-changing year. The year started out in a very dark place, losing love and friends, in and out of sober facility’s, courts rooms, body feeling long-term abuse of alcoholism, no purpose or direction. To now sitting in a café, writing sober with a book in the works. Sober is the New Black started out as me documenting my day-to-day struggles, I would have never thought it would evolve to being seen in over 88 countries. Beyond grateful for all the readers that have inspired my heart. I feel so much love it’s indescribable.  Now all I want to do is help others who may be struggling or know someone who is struggling.  I found a new love for poetry. I’m able to reflect back on my growth.

As I write, I am in tears because I know how hard this year has been but also the most rewarding. I am madly in love with sobriety. Feeling human again, dreaming dreams like I did as a child. Feeling happy, joy and peace but also sad at times but that means I am alive and for that I am so grateful.

When, I was using I did have lots of love around me but the disorder blinded me. I can now see love, but also I feel it inside for others but more importantly for myself. It’s in every cell of my body. No matter how dark my surroundings are light will shine through. It is possible to go from Rock bottom to living dreams in one year. Anything is possible once you start clearing your mind and body from the substance and start listening inwards and healing. Watching the mind disorder in the form of thoughts and eventually it will be so quiet, it’s almost non-existent. Sober is the new black. I don’t usually make new years resolution, not in my DNA, but I will say this coming year will consist of my staying sober and healing. Working on long-term goals.

Who knows Sober is the New Black might end up on the silver screen? Wink-wink. I will continue writing poetry, Finding myself and living my truth. See you next year!

 

Here are some of my last poems of 2014

10372321_771100786291669_1527908267311647468_n

 

 

 

 

10888683_10152626536951295_1514847851349508628_n 10897869_771617519573329_7317416932964194580_n

 

 

This year hands down SIA Album 1000 fears forms of fear has inspired my life. Sia Chandelier is about Addiction.

 

Here are some of the lyrics.

But I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
Help me, I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
On for tonight

Sun is up, I’m a mess
Gotta get out now, gotta run from this
Here comes the shame, here comes the shame

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink

Throw ’em back ’til I lose count.

 

The video is a bit haunting. I see it as a younger self that hasn’t healed or A younger SIA that has been through a hard childhood dealing with Alcohol to cope. Sober is the New Black.

 

 

stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

 

 

 

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

December 21, 2014

Posted under

DAY 211 Sober: Healing Trip

Comments

Leave a comment

DAY 211 Sober: Healing Trip

Hello, Friends today is day 211 sober. I am sitting at a local Restaurant called LuLu in palm springs ca. Looking at the night sky filled with bright stars with sober eyes. Never thought I’d be satisfied with life at the moment. I was expecting to feel uneasy my first major holidays being sober, but actually I feel a lot of peace. I know I will be around booze this holiday and came to terms with it. My sobriety is number one and my family knows that if I feel uneasy I will leave the holiday festivities. Me being in recovery shouldn’t prevent others from living their lives. Trips in the past consisted of me getting black out drunk most of my days, it feels great having a clear mind. Temptation and triggers will happen in sobriety and at those times I have to take it day-by-day, even moment-by-moment.

 

Saw my birth mother yesterday it was a warm embrace. She looks really good like she is also on a road to recovery. Talking to my mother has really opened me up in a life changing way. Growing up was very dark but speaking to her brought on a huge understanding and compassion on why my childhood was so dark. My mother has been abused most of her life by men, she used to help cope with her pain. At the moment I feel weightless from childhood, it’s really hard to explain but its like my eyes became bigger and I now see the whole picture frame. I found peace that allows me to move towards my future. I think it’s important to never forget the roads I walked, a lot of lessons, strength, and beauty in them. I do need to detach my emotions that will make me feel negative towards others and myself. My father is a different story, I always feel a bit uneasy and nervous around him, but I know it is necessary to heal that part. Not sure if this trip will be that trip. One hurdle at a time. My sobriety is number one and I need to take my healing slow so I don’t leave anything undone.

 

Last night I Party Sober, I went to a local club that I used to frequent, had so much fun dancing away with one of my best friends. I had no cravings for booze actually seeing everybody wasted brought on appreciation that I was no longer partaking in that world. Sober is the New Black. The rest of the trip will consist of more writing sessions and self-healing. I found myself driving around old places i used to live and places where I have been in hurt, once i leave that spot, I leave that pain. My own way of healing, I guess.

image

 

Stay Connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

November 20, 2014

Posted under

DAY 180 Sober: Learning to love my Body

Comments

2 Comments

DAY 180 Sober: Learning to love my Body

Hello Friends, Day 180 sober. It’s has been such a busy week for me. Have some awesome upcoming shares. First and article and a featured in a magazine, Day 1, I would have never thought Sober is the new black would have brought some of my dreams to reality. I still have moments in my day where I look out the window and be in the moment. Work is slowing down and will end very soon. Going to write, write and rewrite. Heading back to Palm springs for 3 weeks at the end of December and early January. I never just sat and wrote in my hometown, so that is one of the many things I am excited to do. Going back with an open heart and a clear mind is such a beautiful thing.

 

Once an addict stops drinking, we are left with internal issues. So going back home will allow me to see my mother and father were I could continue the healing process. In the past, I was short tempered around my mother and nervous around my father but I need to be able to see them in the light of love and not in judgment. I am in a better place and have healed some wounds; so I am excited but I still need to learn what role will they be in my life. I will no longer let anyone make me feel less than. The most important thing is how I feel about myself.

 

My six months sober will be here in a couple days, the longest I have been sober in 10 years, and I feel very proud but still have a ways to go in my healing process. I need to always be aware of my ego and how my disorder manifests in my head. The disorder is not in the booze, it’s in my mind so once I am not giving it what it needs than that it comes out in the form of depression, self-hate, overeating, new addictions, sexual active, etc. So I have to be self-aware, healing and letting go of all the negative thoughts that are my addiction. So far I’ve been good, loving my mind, loving my soul, loving my talents but something I need to work on is love for my body. I sometimes look away from mirrors or find myself leaving a clothing store if I see my reflection. This is very hard to talk about but I never felt handsome. My weight always goes up and down and right now it’s a bit up but I can now see the mental disorder feeding me lies in my head, telling me to skip a meal or eat less. I am glad I am aware of it, so if weight is something I want to change, that’s ok but I need to do it healthy. So I joined a gym, so I can start working out. Working out will help my mind as well. I want to be healthy all around. I also will be forcing me to look in the mirror in the morning and say, “I am Beautiful” out loud until my eyes, voice and feelings believe it. It will take time, one issue at a time. Sober is the new black

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

1932402_10152528307686295_4293019813946167505_n

Colbie Caillat try is such an inspirational song!

 

 

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

October 21, 2014

Posted under

DAY 151 Sober: MACKLEMORE

Comments

3 Comments

DAY 151 Sober: MACKLEMORE

Hello Friends today is day 151 sober, it’s been such a busy day. Life has been really good since my last post. My heart is getting stronger everyday and my mind is getting clear from all the negative thoughts. Being aware of the mind Disorder called Addiction is helping my stay sober, one-day at a time. Grateful for each sober moment. I have always been a fan of people who are outspoken about their addiction, it helps me see whats possible in being sober. They are teachers and for newly sober they inspire. Not just sober from booze, sober from hurt, fear, sober from anything this is preventing someone from reaching there full potential. I relapse a bunch of times in the past because I was focus on the stuff I couldn’t do anymore like old routines, old friends instead imagining what I can accomplish once I am sober. I hid my relapses from everyone I loved. The mind disorder was a lair but me the person was so weak and scared I was so ashamed. I was a let down like always. Someone really close to me found wine bottles in my bag and I broke down, The disorder came out screaming than the real me came out crying knowing that I let everyone down again. It still haunts me a bit but admitting my relapse was very painful and hard for my loved ones but it free’d me so i can hit my rock bottom, which made me become aware of the mind, that lead me here today healing.  It needs to stay as a reminder of what booze has done to my life. I know exactly what will happen if I started drinking again but I don’t know what will happen when I stay sober and that is amazing.

 

 

I never really listen to Macklemore music until a friend recommended me to him. I was unaware there album “The heist” is about Ben Haggerty overcoming past and his addiction. Ben Haggerty is a member of the hip-hop group. The last few days I’ve been obsessed with his album and his story. It shows the Capability of  Sobriety, if you relapse its ok because you can change now in this moment. Macklemore inspires me to keep writing, dreaming and to never ever feel that my addiction Is who I am, I am so much greater and I have infinite possibility when I sober. The first 2 videos are songs off  Their album the Heist. They are about Ben Haggerty addiction and the last video is an interview with dateline about relapsing. Sober is the new black.

 

 Stay connect with love Adolfo

 

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

September 26, 2014

Posted under

Day 126 Sober: "Clean" poem

Comments

Leave a comment

Day 126 Sober: “Clean” poem

Hello Friends today is day 126 sober, I am excited for the weekend! I’ve been working and writing. This weekend my goal is to get out from behind my mac and see with these sober eyes. Feeling so grateful for life and for this sober mind that has given me so much life and potential. This poem below explains how i feel inside at the moment. everything in life inspires my writings, to addiction, to sex, love, heartbreaks, even men. Sober is the New Black.

 

photo-14

 

Sober is the New Black

Stay Connect with love. Adolfo Vasquez 

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

September 22, 2014

Posted under

DAY 122 Sober: Impossible is Nothing

Comments

Leave a comment

DAY 122 Sober: Impossible is Nothing

Hello Friends, today is day 122 sober. This past week has been really busy. I finish my book!!! Going to take a moment and really understand what that means. Yesterday I was in tears most of the day. It is now in editing stages and hopefully out in print at the end of the year. This is a direct result of me being sober. I don’t have sobriety without my higher power and I don’t have my higher power with my sobriety.

 

 I’ve always had a passion for writing and under all the substances I was numbing myself with, it was a dream that was an impossible dream in my mind. What I have learn is impossible is nothing! When you are sober. I don’t have a title yet; I do have one that’s in mind but its still uncertain. It’s a book of sober poems. Some are inspirational and some are a bit dark but it is coming from a real place and I hope it can inspire millions to write and create, I believe everyone has some artistic bone in them. My writings gave me a purpose in my life and I am so grateful. I already have a vision for the next book. I will start it next week,  Most of my life, I’ve been an addict and deprived myself from dreams.  I am now going full force in healing and writing.

 

Last night I was laying in bed, watching a late night film and I’ve not had a craving in over 121 days of sobriety but I had my first craving yesterday. A guy in the film was drinking a beer and my mind said “I want a beer” and it shocked me, to the point of being a bit scared. I know I wont drink ever but the fact that the disease came out and made me feel like I needed a beer made me question my program a bit. I know cravings are a natural occurrence in recovering  addicts, so I let it pass and it did. It passed with in minutes. I just had to remind myself what booze has done in my life. In the past when I would get sober and having a craving, I would tear up but this time I didn’t, I handled it with courage and I was aware that it was the disease and not I; in fact it was the enemy. Its ok to have cravings it will pass. I heard this from a friend in recovery and he said “an alcoholic craving alcohol is not a surprising thing so don’t let it scare you.”  Its funny because I’ve been around booze since I got sober, smelled it etc. but a film did it. No cravings today and very aware of my mind.

 

With that said if there is anyone who is struggling with addiction and is using, I want you to know unimaginable dreams will happen and life will open up doors that will take you into a world of endless possibility. I wrote a book in 121 days of being sober, and you can too! Love you all so very much, this blog and my readers bring me so much joy in my heart and there are not enough words or poems that can express the feeling I have for you guys and girls. Sober is the new black.

 

SOBER is simply the best, TINA TUNRER STYLE. One, of my favorite songs of all time. When I was young I would dance in my undies to all her music. Still kind of do.