Day 265 Sober: A Sober Valentine

Today is Day 265 sober; it’s been such a wonderful day. Tomorrow is valentine’s days. Last year I was in a sober facility in the valley trying to stay sober with a broken heart. I was confused, but I knew I wanted to be sober, but I relapsed a short time after because I did not know how to stop and I wasn’t at my bottom. When I look back I feel bad for my old self. I was trying to keep all together, just got out of 3-year relationship, Losing love was more difficult than staying sober. I had really nowhere to go, lost, scared and felt very defeated in life. I disliked myself in every way. Swimming in a river of guilt. Lonely to the extreme.

I now sit here in tears because I’ve come so far in my recovery; life is great in every aspect of my life. My rent is paid for the rest of the year. I am taking 5 months off of work to write, rewrite and live like a traveling nomad. Started investing in mutual funds for the future. Working on my book that will be finish in April 2015 I am still not the person I want to be but I will continue on in sobriety. I want to be more compassionate to others, less attach to material things, let go of needs, pray more, write more, live in the moment more, help others whether in service or poetry, surround myself with only positive and mindful people, take some creative writing class. So those are my short-term goals. I am also very inspired by dark and gritty might be from my past. I love using it in my writings. I do have some dark writings I’ve been working on; I don’t want to alarm people so I might just post them on Instagram and facebook. You can follow me at http://instagram.com/soberwriter

This valentine’s day I’ll be spending it with an incredible man who wants to take me on a date, excited and a bit nervous. Sober is the New Black. I hope you all have a wonderful Valentines day and know the most important love is for oneself.

These are some of the latest poems I cooked up

be

 

Alcohol

 

Died

 

 

Me at day 264 Sober

Adolfo Vasquez

 

 

 

Lykke Li is one incredible artist, writer and performer. Her music inspires me to feel, weep and heal. I hope you love this visually striking video

 

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 48 SOBER: Amanda Palmer “In My Mind”

Hello friends, todays Day 48 sober and I am feeling Alive. I’ve only been up a few hours but I feel like today is going to be a great day. I was supposed to start my workout routine yesterday but of course my eyes got sleepy and needed to get home. Today I am sure my eyes will get sleepy again. It will happen in time. Soon I will break that mental blockage and start working out. I really have no excuse except being tired, which is caused by me. I did start working on my childhood mini bio, it’s a hard write and it will be a hard read. I find myself having mini crying session when I am writing which is a very therapeutic. I am grieving for that 3-year-old boy. 

My job is on the same street as my ex and so yesterday after work I was walking and seen him pull out, and my whole body went numb and I felt the air left my lungs, I did not have any sadness more of a shock. It makes me feel good knowing my feelings are fading. It did get my mind going a bit, on how people can be so close, best friends like than one minute walk by each other like are connection never existed, its like animal instinct, survivor mode. Granted he was in the car and I was walking but even if he’d be walking, I am unsure how it would have played out. He probably did not even see me. Need to pick a new street to walk down. It doesn’t really bother me walking down my old street; its funny because my old  neighbor still thinks I live their, she is an interesting character to say the least. She has a white poodle like dog that is so cute.  She always asks me to let me ex know if he can photograph her dog. 

Today I will be having dinner with a friend and writing before hand! This month will be a packed month! This coming weekend I will be spending it with a great friend I have not seen in awhile, slumber party, great talks, and food! The weekend after, ill be heading back home to Palm Springs for a birthday party! The weekend after, some friends invited me on their annual camping trip to Kern River near Lake Isabella in Bakersfield, CA. I need to figure out my Wi-Fi because Sober is the New Black is my baby and the weekend after ill be heading back to Palm springs for my niece birthday!  So excited to be sober and clear mind so I experience all those sober!

I am grateful for my awesome friends, Love and my job! Amanda palmer is such an amazing Artist. singer, performer, human! Her video “In my Mind” is brilliant. Hope you enjoy!

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo