Day 169 Sober: Creating love for me

Hello Friends, today is 169 days sober, So far it has been pretty peaceful, my plans today is to enjoy each moment and not let anything negative effect my emotions. Lately, I’ve been enjoying being by myself. Away from others and it might be because I spend most of my weekdays surrounded with others and I don’t get much time with myself. My shower is my safe place, where I go and pray and reflect on how I can be better than the day before. I am washing away yesterday worries. Kind of symbolic. I just started once I got sober, I meet with my inner light, and once I connect I feel a sense of peace and my body tingles. It helps me start my day.

I also enjoy a sense of touch, I run my fingers over walls, or rub my toes in the dirt, so I can focus on the feeling bringing me back to the present away from mind haze. The more I do it the better I get at coming back to the present moment. I feel that sometimes you have to go back to heal so you can move forward but always come back to the moment in peace and understanding. I do notice everything seems brighter, I see life in everything from the wind carrying a bag to the bag itself. What keeps me sober is being connected with my inner light and being self-aware, constant evolving and staying in the moment. Accepting that I am the co-creator with the ultimate creator and embracing life plans.

What I need to work on is finding my purpose, writing yes but I think callings may change since I am always evolving and I might have many callings, I know eventually I would love to work with broken children so they can see their infinite Potential, as I was one of those kids.

In the past I only loved the way I knew how to, a broken kind of love it was still love, but showed in ways a person should not show love learned by seeing my parents. I did things a broken person did, but I was unaware of the broken mind caused by addiction and past hurts but I am aware now. Love is a feeling inside me I create for myself, which overflows into relationships. The most important thing is how I show my love. I am creating deep love for myself, letting it shine out. It’s constant work but, hopefully, it becomes effortless. Sober is the new black

Stay connect with love Adolfo Vasquez,

Love this song Adia from Sarah Mclachlan,

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adolfo vasquez

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July 4, 2014

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DAY 42 Sober: Happy 4th, Sober Hangover

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DAY 42 Sober: Happy 4th

Hello friends, today is day 42 Sober. Hope everybody enjoyed his or her 4th of July. This morning I woke up in a bit of a funk not really Feeling like celebrating. Since I’ve been sober I’ve been having some dreams of my old life and when I do I always wake up in a bit a funk. The dreams are not about me drinking. It focuses on my ex and my old friends. This dream was about my EX celebrating the 4th with his new love and my old friends, someone stealing my old life from me. When we broke up, I was the bad guy and so everybody left, I understand they were his friends first so of course they took themselves out of my life, I expected that but every time I dream those dreams I wake up with deep loneliness and kind of numb. So I prayed really hard in the shower and asked my Higher power to get me through the day and once I got out, I was ready to celebrate the 4th! Some friends and I had a BBQ at a park; it was peaceful, filled with laughter, water gun fights, great food and love! It reminded me how amazing my new normal is and I cant be a prisoner of my past but the pioneer of my future.

Also my blog has been getting A lot of amazing support which I am so grateful for. kind people who are reaching out and sending their well wishes. Since my blog is public their also some other people who are also in recovery that are not feeling it. Which is ok I don’t expect everybody to understand my journey into sobriety. This blog is from a guy who is just 42 days sober, so the point is to Evolve, grow and document my story and struggle. So I know I don’t have all the answers and don’t want to. I just want to be whole and heal. Maybe this blog might help newbies and maybe it might remind winners what it’s like to just be 42 days sober. I spoke to this amazing lady last night, who I believe is such an inspirational winner and she reminded me I have to take advice that works for me and leave the rest. This blog is very therapeutic and I had to refocus and not give those people any energy. This blog I believe is a gift form the Universe and I know there is a bigger picture. I have to stay focus on staying sober that’s it.

Today I am grateful for being Sober, My Higher Power, for all the love that surrounds me, for AA and The BIG BOOK.

Stay Connect with love, Adolfo