10 months sober

Hello Friends today is 10 months sober. It seems I had to learn most lessons the hard way.  I think the reason is growing up I had no example or foundation. No teacher teaching me love, self worth or encouragement.  When I first learned how to ride a bike I was six. It was a teenager bike with no helmet. My butt couldn’t touch the seat because my feet had to reach the pedals. I kept falling, crashing, cutting up my legs but I was determined so I kept getting back up. Eventually I got the hang of it.

I really wanted to learn how to ride a bike but did not have the proper tools like a bike for my age, helmet, knee pads or parents outside helping me but I knew I wanted to ride. After being bruised, hurt, bleeding. I finally LEARNED how to ride my bike. It took days but I was determined. The reason why this story is so profound is I took this learning into my adult life “Learning the hard way”

I was never taught how to receive or give love , or how to be a great friend.  I was just trying to survive. I wanted to love but my actions never met how I felt. Every person I would meet I thought would eventually hurt me. My parents were suppose to protect me and teach me how to be a man but instead they abused me in more than one way. When I turned 15, I went out on my own  without any tools.

I now have the proper tools so I don’t have to learn the hard way in some aspects of my life. When I was 6, if I had a bike my size,training wheels and parents teaching me.  I would have learned a softer way.

Now In my adult life my training wheels will be hope/faith and my helmet/protection will be the high power that lives in me. What will help me get back up, guiding me will be my sobriety. I might still learn the hard way with some stuff but I am willing to learn and I know my falls won’t be as hard because of my clean and sober mind.

 

Ill be traveling to Seattle in at the end of April, very excited for this trip. One of many in the works. I hope to meet some of my readers of sober are the new black. I’ve had some readers approach me in public, letting me know they are reading, following and that it helps them self reflect. It sometimes hard for me to comprehend that I can help someone in his or her sobriety.It brings me so much joy and tears. so grateful . When I started the blog it was just I documenting my struggles but I realized it turn into something bigger and I am very grateful.

Macklemore is a huge inspiration to millions. Their music touch my heart in so many ways. Today I got an email from Macklemore and his company congratulating me on my 300 days of sober. Right now he is working on his new album. Can’t wait for it to come out. The videos below are some his songs talking about Ben Haggerty addiction and recovery. I love hearing others speak out about their addiction and recovery. Someone will here those words that might save their life.

 

 

 

 

 

Here some of my poems i have written in past couple of days

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Here are some photos from Las Vegas

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Stay connect with love Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 191 Sober: Sober Learner

Hello friends, today is day 191 sober,  I had a wonderful 7 days off of work for thanksgiving. I am a bit over six months sober and only have had one craving. Every decision I am making in my life is toward long-term goals and my own doing. I don’t have to wake up the next day with guilt or worrisome of the wrongs I’ve caused. No more lush trends. My body feels great, no more really dry skin and my shape looks a lot better

The beginning of sobriety, detoxing the body happens, but I didn’t know detoxing the mind would also happen. My emotions would always go up and down, sad and happy, joyful and angry. I question everything and everybody. I found out quickly, who were my friends. So it seemed my life was upside down. It seemed like a roller coaster. I knew I wanted change and never wanted to taste another IPA beer, but the addiction came out in full force once I stop giving my addiction what it need, the booze. So I had to reach out and find out how to heal my broken mind. They say you can’t fix a broken mind with a broken mind, that is true 100, but I do believe you can heal a broken mind so you can be aware of the addiction voice. Now that the fog has cleared and I am not using, I am left with issues and root causes. It’s a huge step to be aware of being an addict because you can never become unaware once you are aware. The addiction can try and convince otherwise, but it will get quite and far in between. I just need to do my program and not drink

the beginning of sobriety  I was unaware of all the love in support sobriety brings, from people in recovery. I stumbled upon a website called “match me sober” and it connects people in sobriety, there are so many social media outlets that cater to us.

I call my Teachers, sober warriors who have the answers I need so I can understand the mind of the addiction. I’ve been in and out of AA rooms in California, my first was in my hometown and I did not connect with the speaker because he was talking about all the wrongs he has done. I was 21 never been in prison or did any of the things that he spoke of, so my defected mind, thought, I must not be an addict and left using. It was until years later, I found a place called primetime in Los Angeles heard what I needed, They focus on the mind of the addict and I left knowing I was an addict. I still never been in prison or did those things my Hometown speaker spoke about but I connected with the speaker of primetime, because they focus on the ego, mind and body of the addict and how it affects them in their day to day

 

I do not consider myself a sober warrior yet, there is still a way to go, but I am a sober learner. Love to learn more about addiction and one day able to help others, as of now I am a sponge soaking up all I can so I can be a better me. I need a solid foundation so I can build this house called life. There are other non-addicts that inspire my spiritual growth. My life long goal is to be the best I can be through my actions and thoughts. The universe render endless possibility, it might not always be as I planned, but there are reasons things happen. My little brown eyes are not made to understand at the time, but the lessons will surface I just have to be open enough to see it. Sober is the new black.

 

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This song from Macklemore-Otherside ft fences changed my life. Hope it helps someone who might be struggling

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez