Tag Archives: Loneliness
DAY 42 Sober: Happy 4th
Hello friends, today is day 42 Sober. Hope everybody enjoyed his or her 4th of July. This morning I woke up in a bit of a funk not really Feeling like celebrating. Since I’ve been sober I’ve been having some dreams of my old life and when I do I always wake up in a bit a funk. The dreams are not about me drinking. It focuses on my ex and my old friends. This dream was about my EX celebrating the 4th with his new love and my old friends, someone stealing my old life from me. When we broke up, I was the bad guy and so everybody left, I understand they were his friends first so of course they took themselves out of my life, I expected that but every time I dream those dreams I wake up with deep loneliness and kind of numb. So I prayed really hard in the shower and asked my Higher power to get me through the day and once I got out, I was ready to celebrate the 4th! Some friends and I had a BBQ at a park; it was peaceful, filled with laughter, water gun fights, great food and love! It reminded me how amazing my new normal is and I cant be a prisoner of my past but the pioneer of my future.
Also my blog has been getting A lot of amazing support which I am so grateful for. kind people who are reaching out and sending their well wishes. Since my blog is public their also some other people who are also in recovery that are not feeling it. Which is ok I don’t expect everybody to understand my journey into sobriety. This blog is from a guy who is just 42 days sober, so the point is to Evolve, grow and document my story and struggle. So I know I don’t have all the answers and don’t want to. I just want to be whole and heal. Maybe this blog might help newbies and maybe it might remind winners what it’s like to just be 42 days sober. I spoke to this amazing lady last night, who I believe is such an inspirational winner and she reminded me I have to take advice that works for me and leave the rest. This blog is very therapeutic and I had to refocus and not give those people any energy. This blog I believe is a gift form the Universe and I know there is a bigger picture. I have to stay focus on staying sober that’s it.
Today I am grateful for being Sober, My Higher Power, for all the love that surrounds me, for AA and The BIG BOOK.
Stay Connect with love, Adolfo
DAY 31 Sober: On the night you were born
Day 17 Sober: Loneliness
Hello friends, Today is 17 day sober. Mondays always seem like a drag lately. I am still trying to get use to being up at at 340am everyday. I have always been a night person but love being off so early I still have a full day. The past few days I have felt a bit lonely. Ive been keeping busy working, writing Sober is the New Black also hanging with friends but still very lonely.
Not sure why i feel such isolation, I know its an issue that i have to deal with. Its rooted in my childhood, I need to pull that weed out but i am not sure where is begins. or maybe loneliness is part of the process in just being with yourself so you can heal your wounds because in reality you have to be alone and clear minded to really became self aware and maybe loneliness is fear i have to overcome. I do not lack anything, everything already is inside of me, love, talent, hope, joy, god. Nobody can give me anything that already have.
I think it has to do with me getting out of 3 year relationship, I miss companionship the most and a few other things. The reality is I still really miss vince and I am still really in love. I don’t know how or when these feelings will fade but i need to stay focus on me right now and really be the best i can be so when that day comes i can be ready to be in love again. So loneliness is ok, Ill be fine i just have to stay focus on my longterm goals, staying sober and healing myself.
Stay connect with love, Adolfo