1 Year Sober

Today is one year sober; today I feel nothing but gratitude. A sense of self-awareness I have never felt before. In one year I’ve learned more about me than in the 28 years of living. What I’ve learned in one year sober is I am not my past, my mistakes, and my past addiction. I’m whom I choose to be today, in this moment.

A year ago today, I was sitting on a mattress on the floor in a new apartment, I’d lost the love of my life because of my addiction, and I was ashamed and embarrassed. Little hope, lost with no purpose or sense of direction.

Today every aspect of my life is amazing, like I am walking in a dream. I see the world with different eyes. Eyes that is clear and filled with hope and compassion.

Sobriety does not fix everything but it allows me to have a clear mind so I could fix my life. The first few weeks into sobriety my emotions were up and down. Happy, Sad, Hopeful, defeated, angry, confused, blissful, inspired, sobriety allowed me to feel life on life terms.

The list of gifts sobriety has brought into my life are endless. Surrendering everything to the power greater than myself has been beyond rewarding, it taught me a word called forgiveness. Forgiving everything including forgiveness for myself.

Sobriety put purpose in my writing. I heal through my art. Hopefully inspiring others to heal through art. I now see love in all aspects of my life. When I was using I was blind from the love that surrounded me. I was caught in my mind that created false stories that brought me pain so I would use, creating a vicious cycle of using.

Now I see love so big, I feel love so much it’s as if my heart going to explode.

The ISM in Alcoholism is Alcohol-Inside Self & Mind. My disease centered in my mind creating the body craving. I had to become aware of the mind voice. Once I was able separate the voice from my True self. I could stop the voice dead in its tracks. The voice would speak to me like just have one more drink or only wine. The voice would bring up my past; you had such a bad childhood, you should be angry, he’s cheating on you, blah blah on and on. How dare you, you offended me, blah, blah on and on.

The voice sounded like me, it knew what to say to get me to the next drink.

I’m stronger than the voice because I’m aware of my true-self. My true-self is stronger. I can shut it down. if it starts feeding me negative thoughts from my past.

Today I woke up happy, aware, with purpose; fire in my heart to create art, wanting to be a better me. Still working on love for myself and compassion for others. Staying open to learning new things. Sober is the new black.

I want to say thank you to the readers of sober is the new black. That allowed me to share my journey. There are no words that i can write down to show my gratitude. Thank you friends with more days sober who are my teachers and thank you friends with less days sober who my inspiration.

Sober is the New Black will continue on, my book will be out at the end of this year also an apparel line. Sobriety brings dreams that seemed unimaginable. God bless and until next time. Going to turn off my computer for the day and just live!!!!!! Seeing new sights with these clean and sober eyes.

Stay connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez

This video below was one year in the making. Hope it inspires.

 

 

one year sober

 

adolfo vasquez adolfo vasquez

 

adolfo vasquez

Special thanks to Roxy Shih for the video

Vincent Sandoval for Photography

Stay connected with love Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 168 Sober: Sober Miracle

Hello Friends, today is 168 days sober, this week been a busy week, I worked 70hrs but glad this season will be over soon and ill have more time to write. My mind disorder called Alcoholism is healing, no cravings. This year I got sober and lost someone really important in my life. This has been the hardest but most rewarding year of my life. Some of the biggest mistakes that turn into life lesson happen this year. I realized all those things the addiction has done was my mental disorder that I was unaware of. I thought my addiction was me but once I separate the two, I was able to stop it dead in its track.

 

I will not hold myself prisoner from what my addiction has done; I am whom I choose to be now, in this moment. In order for me to grow I have to let go of the guilt of hurting loved ones, every day I feel less guilty. I can’t even relate to the old me so I can’t even explain what my old self did. I lost someone who was very instrumental in opening my eyes to the addiction. I lost him because I was unaware of my mental disorder. This is hard, but I am very strong and can get through it, I allow myself a good weep to cleanse myself. I know all I have to do is stay sober, I see sober miracles every day. I called them sober miracle like walking past old bars without feeling tempted, being around booze and not craving it. Feeling peace inside knowing my lips will never be on a beer bottle.

 

Change is very hard but freeing. I was born on 11.11 so in a few days I’ll be 29. I am now finding myself, forcing myself to heal old wounds. Forgiving everybody and everything still learning how to forgive me. I will never stop growing; I will continue to evolve, to inspire others and me. Right now, I am happy, feeling free and a bit sad but I am feeling life and not using and that is a sober miracle. Sober is the new black

 

 

DAY 84 SOBER POEM

 

Stay connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez

Some Paloma Faith to end my night.

 

Day 27 Sober: Last day LA Film Festival

 Hello friends today is day 27 sober and I am feeling so grateful that I have made it this far. The film festival has been really amazing. I am very thankful for the chance to be attending this year. Hopefully one day ill be showing my film!  Yesterday I saw Club Sandwich and Man from Reno.  Man from Reno was good,  It started off great but lasted a bit long. Today is the last day and ill be watching a film called 1000 times good night staring Juliette Binoche. The last film of the night is Jersey boy from Clint Eastwood it might be sold out but I’ll find out once I get there. Going to the LA film festival has inspired me to create some short films. This upcoming weekend ill be looking into purchasing a Cannon 5D with video or maybe a 7D. I need to not only believe in my dream I need to put work into it. I am saving tons of money not drinking so now ill invest my old addiction money into my future dreams.

 

 The past 27 days my life has changed dramatically from my thoughts to my surroundings, to the way I see people to the way I see myself. I am so in love with life. Moments out the day I get chills knowing I am alive, on the right path of sobriety and becoming self aware of my issues. Addicts who are newly Sober talk about a pink cloud, It’s a time were everything seems very easy and a kind of high.  Alcohol and drugs is like an Anesthesia from life so once you get sober your feelings are intense and life feels amazing. Other Addicts talk about the pink cloud eventually fading away and then you will become sad. I’m determine to always be living in a pink cloud and the only way for me to is to watch my thoughts and to enjoy every moment in life.

 

A pink cloud is a beautiful thing, create your own reality and live in bliss. I am no longer going to have a negative outlook on every situation that happens in life because I cant control what the world does.  I just have to see the silver lining in everything that comes my way because everything that happens to me is to evolve me and I have to watch for the signs that are around me at all times. I will call it my pink lining.  

 Stay connect with love, Adolfo