DAY 255 Sober: Surrendering

Hello Friends today is day 255 sober, the past few days have been really chill. Love waking up without hangover aches or guilt deep in my heart. Even if I wake up a bit down, I know I can control how I feel by seeing the positive in life, I just have to choose how long I want to feel down for.

One of the best parts of sobriety is the surrendering, I no longer have to carry all those heavy burdens I’ve carried for 28 years, I just let everything go. I don’t have any anger or hate for anyone. No grievances from the past. My past addiction was made up of a few things, childhood trauma, fear, and having a family full of untreated addicts. I remember being at the age of 4 sneaking into my stepfather bedroom dresser, looking for his pipe sucking on it pretending to smoke. I loved the taste of the weed resin. My stepfather and brother would take car rides and he would blow weed smoke in our face eventually at the age of 15 I experienced my first high that was weed, that turn into cocaine that turn into alcohol. I switch addiction once the substance I was using become deadly or just not fun anymore. I didn’t realize I was an addict until alcohol came into my life. I switch addiction also because I didn’t realize I was using to cope with my past. Numbing myself from reality.

Now the fear part, I was terrified of everything growing up, scared of wind, heights, mountains, and food, scared of people etc. In elementary school there was a couple of years where I wouldn’t eat because I was afraid of choking, my parents should have put me in the hospital but I eventually got over that fear. I was stick and bones. Growing up I was never taught how to connect with humans in a correct and beautiful way (Reason my previous relationship didn’t work) Now that I am sober and healing I am finding and seeing love in everybody I come into contact with. We are all flawed humans trying to connect with others. My Flaw just happens to be a disorder called addiction.

This past couple of day’s I realized my childhood wasn’t bad at all actually it was the universe preparing me at a very young age, In the process of finding out what the preparation was for. Sober is the New Black.

1513720_789687797766301_5764094407080286244_n 1969211_789721601096254_5443148088257134333_n 10947192_790778637657217_8308344325328998357_n 10959504_10152711911611295_7534502100476399177_n


Aloe Blacc is one of my favorite modern day soul singer, so inspiring and very handsome as well. hope you enjoy green lights. Check out his album Good Things



Stay connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 63 Sober: The killers be still

Hello friends today is day 63 sober, I stayed up late last night listening to some music. Yesterday post was a bit scary and right after I posted it I felt sick for an hour. I did weep but afterwards I felt a beautiful relief. I am sure there is more weeping to do and eventually I will create a space between childhood past and my emotions so when I do go back to the past for reflecting that space wont let my past affect my present emotions. After my writing session I went and visited a great friend Mel, we watch TV and ate a bunch of horrible foods. I feel fine today and focus. I never really talked about my childhood because I felt ashamed if people knew. Growing up I thought people would look down and judge me but yesterday I saw a lot of compassion, empathy and love. I now know those things that happen aren’t who I am; who I am is whom I choose to be right now in this moment. As a kid those things were out of my control, I just had to get through and I am grateful I got out. Addiction is forcing me to heal my past, in a way Addiction is a blessing because I would still be a prisoner from my past and eventually passing away a prisoner not ever fully evolving or growing.


Today my short-term goal is to start a series of poems something healthy for my mind and a spa trip something healthy for my body. I want to start treating my body with the respect it deserves. For so long I treated my body with no respect and wasn’t fully aware of the damage I have caused. I was told I have a fatty liver by my doctor and even that did not scare me into quitting. I also will be seeing Lenny today one of my closes friend, we always laugh and have a good time. I am grateful for everyone who let me share yesterday. I am writing down my teen years and will be posting it hopefully sometime this week. I am grateful for Sober is the New Black and for love. The killers is a band I love so much and be still is such a powerful song. Hope you enjoy


Stay connect with love, Adolfo