1 Year Sober

Today is one year sober; today I feel nothing but gratitude. A sense of self-awareness I have never felt before. In one year I’ve learned more about me than in the 28 years of living. What I’ve learned in one year sober is I am not my past, my mistakes, and my past addiction. I’m whom I choose to be today, in this moment.

A year ago today, I was sitting on a mattress on the floor in a new apartment, I’d lost the love of my life because of my addiction, and I was ashamed and embarrassed. Little hope, lost with no purpose or sense of direction.

Today every aspect of my life is amazing, like I am walking in a dream. I see the world with different eyes. Eyes that is clear and filled with hope and compassion.

Sobriety does not fix everything but it allows me to have a clear mind so I could fix my life. The first few weeks into sobriety my emotions were up and down. Happy, Sad, Hopeful, defeated, angry, confused, blissful, inspired, sobriety allowed me to feel life on life terms.

The list of gifts sobriety has brought into my life are endless. Surrendering everything to the power greater than myself has been beyond rewarding, it taught me a word called forgiveness. Forgiving everything including forgiveness for myself.

Sobriety put purpose in my writing. I heal through my art. Hopefully inspiring others to heal through art. I now see love in all aspects of my life. When I was using I was blind from the love that surrounded me. I was caught in my mind that created false stories that brought me pain so I would use, creating a vicious cycle of using.

Now I see love so big, I feel love so much it’s as if my heart going to explode.

The ISM in Alcoholism is Alcohol-Inside Self & Mind. My disease centered in my mind creating the body craving. I had to become aware of the mind voice. Once I was able separate the voice from my True self. I could stop the voice dead in its tracks. The voice would speak to me like just have one more drink or only wine. The voice would bring up my past; you had such a bad childhood, you should be angry, he’s cheating on you, blah blah on and on. How dare you, you offended me, blah, blah on and on.

The voice sounded like me, it knew what to say to get me to the next drink.

I’m stronger than the voice because I’m aware of my true-self. My true-self is stronger. I can shut it down. if it starts feeding me negative thoughts from my past.

Today I woke up happy, aware, with purpose; fire in my heart to create art, wanting to be a better me. Still working on love for myself and compassion for others. Staying open to learning new things. Sober is the new black.

I want to say thank you to the readers of sober is the new black. That allowed me to share my journey. There are no words that i can write down to show my gratitude. Thank you friends with more days sober who are my teachers and thank you friends with less days sober who my inspiration.

Sober is the New Black will continue on, my book will be out at the end of this year also an apparel line. Sobriety brings dreams that seemed unimaginable. God bless and until next time. Going to turn off my computer for the day and just live!!!!!! Seeing new sights with these clean and sober eyes.

Stay connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez

This video below was one year in the making. Hope it inspires.

 

 

one year sober

 

adolfo vasquez adolfo vasquez

 

adolfo vasquez

Special thanks to Roxy Shih for the video

Vincent Sandoval for Photography

Stay connected with love Adolfo Vasquez

Day 310 Sober: Wonderful Unknowns

Hello Friends today is 310 days of sober. I am in a Café by the name of Iota in Korea town. It’s my favorite place it feels like home. As I was writing a man approached me, he was drinking and smelled of old stale beer. He was beyond drunk; he started talking about his life and how he wasn’t happy. In the beginning I was a bit annoyed because I needed to get some writing done but than I realized it was an opportunity to share my experience and maybe it can help. He seemed to be struggling with addiction. I saw “good” in him. I saw past his disorder. We all know the only person that can want to change is one self and he just didn’t seem opened to wanting it. Maybe he wasn’t ready for the work. I hope one day he finds that peace in sobriety.

This weekend Family came down to visit. We had a blast going to Bookstores, spa, ate some amazing foods and had great conversation. The more days fly on and months go by. The easier it is to stay sober. I’m cant even remember the old me and I’m madly in love with getting to know the new me. Every part of my life is flowing wonderfully Sober is my new black.  Sober is the best thing I have worn in my life. Substance abuse was a symptom to my inner turmoil of past pain that was never healed. I did not have the proper understanding or tools to heal.

I am coming up on a year sober. This year has been the most difficult but the most rewarding. It was like a rebirth, new beginning born from a heartbroken and dark end. Sobriety is number one and the rest follows because without sobriety I have nothing. The only thing I know about my future is my lips will never taste a whiskey kiss again after that I am not sure were my life is headed. The wonderful unknowns are a beautiful thing So much possibility, so much room for growth.

I know one-day I will have a love in my life that I will share a home with, watching each other grow inside and out. Seeing each other make mistakes and learn, building a bond so tight no outside influence can break it because I believe in love and will work my butt off for it. I now know how to build a healthy Relationship. It all starts with a healthy relationship with myself. For me love is the most important thing in my life, saying I love you and feeling love for someone isn’t the most important thing. The most important thing is how you show your love to that one. Listening, compassion, giving advice when asked, loving unconditional because we all have ups and downs within our self’s and sometimes one of us needs to be that rock so the other can Break.  Sober is the New Black

 

I’m in the process of finding a bigger place for myself. I’m out growing my apartment and need to create a space in my home for my writing. A little corner filled with some inspiration. Looking to move away from downtown LA, not really inspired their, maybe closer to Hollywood or the Westside.

 

 

Here some poems I’ve written the passed couple of days,The first one is about dreams I’ve been dreaming lately. Dreams of peace

 

This one is about when i find that love, building a relationship on life journeylifes Journey

 

This one is about finding life beauty with are 5 senses

5 senses

 

This one is about rewriting a new life away from past hazeBurn pages

 

Brandon flowers just released a new video called Can’t Deny my love staring Evan Rachel Wood. This video is very symbolic to my journey into my sobriety. Leaving and walking into the unknown, learning and healing. Hope you enjoy it.

 

 

 

Sober is the New Black

 

Stay Connect with Love, Adolfo Vasquez

 

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DAY 80 Sober: RIP Robin Williams

Hello friends today is day 8o sober, its been a productive day. Just woke up from a nap and heard about Robin Williams. I felt a sadness come over me. Not sure yet what happen but I know he struggled with Addiction.  Every time I hear about a person who has been sober for so long, passing away. It reminds me that this disorder never goes away and I need to be focus always and continue to work on myself. Just scary to know I have that in me. Today I feel a bit sad, but focus. I watch his films growing up and loved his laugh. His smile was adorable. This will be a short post, going to make a batch of coffee and continue to write and be inspired with life. Sober is the New Black. I am Grateful for being sober, for Robin Williams films and for life.

 

I wrote a poem today on the bus ride home. Its about my past mistakes and my current state. 

Poem 3

Poem 3

 

 

DAY 79 Sober: Lesson Learned and Wheels Keep Turning

Hello friends, today is day 79 sober. It’s been such wonderful day so far. Last night I was up till four in the morning finishing up my poems. Almost done than they will be off to an editor to look it over, I think they are perfect but its good to get an opinion. I feel like there might be more then twelve but we will see. I spent the day shopping away at a flea market and thrift stores. I love finding eclectic pieces. I found some cool glasses. I going to spend the rest of the day writing the final installment of my mini bio and try to finish up the series I’ve been working on. No cravings at all since, I got sober. I am about to hit 3 months and that’s around the time of my last relapse. I was in a sober living, I started boozing it up there than shortly after checking out.

 

 

My mind was so different back than and my life was chaotic. Getting sober at the time, going through a break up and not having a stable place live. At the time I didn’t realize it was all my doing. I am glad I can go back and reflect on some of the things, so I can do differently. I did at the time get some vital information that planted seeds in my mind. I use to think my Addiction was in the booze so I just stop drinking. I was unaware that Addiction is a disorder that centers in the mind and self. So that was the biggest Aha moment, But at the time I did not want to accept the fact that I wasn’t in control. My relapse hit hard and fast, I am so lucky to be alive. It consisted of court, keying a car and a MRI. Lesson learned and the wheels keep turning. One of the biggest gift I found in sobriety is forgiving others and forgiving myself. It took a lot of work but I can honestly say I sit here with no guilt from those things. It was a beautiful disaster; Because of that bottom I am here not only alive but also living! Living my life to fullest in the moment. I cant wait to see what life has in store for me next, whatever happens I will be grateful, appreciate it, put lots of love into it, have my thoughts, words, and actions match, as I am doing now, Keep evolving and growing, non stop writing, going deep in my self so I can continue to heal and hangout with my inner divine or higher power. I have so many dreams now, love is one but also to be a writer, make a film, act more, become a journalist. Make a home with my love and have some Golden Retrievers. Watch them all play in the front yard while I drink my coffee. I want to write constant love letters to my love. Get married and be inspired everyday from those lovely eyes staring back at me. Hell, maybe ill even write a book all about my love. I get inspired by everything now days, from zombies to shoes. I cant have any of that unless I stay sober. Life is pretty amazing, Sober is the New Black. I am grateful for these awesome glasses in the pic I found, for my readers and I am grateful for everything.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

 

 

Ingrid Michaelson The Way I am is perfection. Hope you like

 

Day 79 sober cool shades

Day 79 sober cool shades